If you are wondering if you should go to Lowell tonight, pencil it in. The Lockmonsters have assigned perennial bench warmer Jesse Boulerice for a weekend stint. Boulerice is a gamer, and one tough customer. He was the subject of a vicious Aaron Downey one-punch a couple of years ago that scrambled his eggs a bit, but the lockout and a year away from the game was a good thing for the New York native. Hopefully Boulerice and Marty Grenier have a go tonight, and Mike Hoffman and Jesse tangle on Sunday. Either way, I am so excited I may take a deliberate penalty, and dammed if I wouldn’t!
Archives for January 2006
Colton Orr Ain’t Gonna Help You Now.
For those of us in the Boston area we all remember a well known rant by former Celtics Coach Rick Pitino. It went something like, "Larry Bird isn’t walking through that door, Kevin McHale isn’t walking through that door. It gets played constantly on sports radio, and was pretty much the end of Pitino’s days as the Celtics Bench Boss. What does this have to do with hockey fights? Glad you asked.
Friday night was spent up at the Tsongas Arena in Lowell watching yet another lackluster Lockmonster performance. At the end of the game, Keith Aucoin starts a shoving match with Sound Tiger, Dave Karpa. It escalated quickly, probably due to Aucoin’s smart mouth. Karpa wound up throwing about five right hands to Aucoin. It looked like a line brawl was about to happen because as Karpa was lowering the boom on Smart Mouth Aucoin, the other eight guys on the ice were all locked up. It was a typical post game dust up we have all seen a million times. The stripes got in there, and everyone was separated. The near brawl took place right against the visitors entrance doors, and off to the right of where I was sitting. Being right there at the gate, one linesman got Karpa, and another Sound Tiger off the ice, as the other linesman escorted Smart Mouth Aucoin toword his own bench. Now, as this was happening, the fracas in the corner heated up again, and the linesman that was Smart Mouth’s date, left him alone to try and break it up. This left Smart Mouth all alone in front of the Bridgeport Bench.
I noticed out of the corner of my left eye as the pushing and shoving heated up again to my right, that Smart Mouth wasn’t preceding to his bench. In fact, he had stopped directly in front of the Sound Tiger Bench, doing his best John Wensink impression. He was standing there with his arms out to his sides, palms up, in the universal "I don’t give a fuck, let’s go" stance. No one on Bridgeport’s Bench moved. Someone did, however, reach out with the butt end of their stick and try to poke Keith Wensink with it. That drew a crowd, and Wensink was almost pulled into the Bridgeport Bench. That drew the attention of the other nine guys on the ice, and all the officials, as they all converged at the visiting Bench. At this time, Karpa, and the other Sound Tiger that were pushed off the ice earlier, got back on the ice. A major no no. It was then that I said out loud, "Holy Shit, these benches are both going to empty."
One of the linesmen grabbed Keith Smart Mouth Aucoin Wensink, and pulled him to the Lowell Bench. Lockmonster Coach Tom Rowe, came on the ice and was pulling guys to his bench. I thought that wasn’t the best move for Coach Rowe, as he got in a lot of trouble in Norfolk for being on the ice during a post period brawl last season. Eventually things got calm, and I left my seat to talk it over with others on what they had seen.
No one was assessed any penalties (not even Karpa, and the other Tiger that came back on the ice were assessed anything. A major oversight in my mind.) It got me thinking how Aucoin started the whole thing. I think he is incredibly mouthy, and a really big punk. I don’t have a problem with it, save for the fact that he can’t back any of it up. I also think he’s going to get his head kicked in one day in Lowell. Last season he could be a mouthy punk, and he had Colton Orr, and Brendan Walsh to back him up. Who’s he got this year? Exactly. No one. These two Teams lock horns again in February. I hope someone runs Smart Mouth Wensink right through the boards.
Dear DVR, I love you.
Dear DVR,
Thank you DVR for offering me a convenient way to record matinee Bruins games when I am working. Especially when the Bruins decide they are going to win a game, and have a fight. Without you DVR, I would not be able to see the Travis Moen (ANA) vs. Dan LaCoutre (BOS) fight. I have not yet had time to watch the game, but it is nice to know you will be saving it until space is needed DVR. I would also like to thank you for letting me fast forward though all the boring parts. You know, Rob Simpson’s mindless drivel (by the way, who does he have nude pictures of? He is HORRIBLE!) Commercials, the actual hockey, allowing me to avoid questions from MOL like, "Didn’t they play this yesterday?" and "Why are you watching this if you know who wins." Thank you DVR for allowing me to watch one game tonight on Center Ice, while recording another. That way I have better odds of getting a decent scrap on television. Thank you for letting me save until I decide when to delete. Currently Slap Shot is on save until I delete status. Sometimes it’s too hard to get up and open the DVD and all. Thank you DVR for making this hockey season enjoyable. When I get bummed out because fighting is down, I can look to you and recorded games with fights for a smile. Thank you DVR, I love you.
NHL Pay Or AHL Play?
I read an article the other day about Hurricanes enforcer Jesse Boulerice, and how he has played in 18 of 36 games for Carolina, and hadn’t had a fight since November 16th. It went on to say that 71% of all NHL games this season have been fight free. That is up from the 59% of fight free games the last time the NHL played. That stat itself is a whole topic on its own. At any rate, it got me to thinking about the role of the enforcer. I sort of thought they’d be a dying breed at the NHL level, but fighting seems to be alive and well in the AHL and below. So I ask you this: Would you rather stay at the NHL, not play and collect an NHL paycheck every two weeks? Or, would you rather go down to the farm, not make as much money, but play every day?
Last year during the AHL Playoffs, the Providence Journal did a story on then P-Bruin tough guy Colton Orr. They were saying how he was all over the ice. How he played in every situation, and how he didn’t take anything off the table. This about Colton Orr. Would you ever see Orr on a NHL power play? Not unless the rest of the team was dead you wouldn’t. Guys like Orr, and Boulerice can play in every situation in the AHL, but are a scratch most nights in the show. When was the last game Orr played for the Rangers? Does anyone know?
Orr and Boulerice are just two guys that come to mind. I am sure if I thought about it, there are probably 10 more guys. Which brings me back to the question, do you get paid, or do you want to play? Would you prefer to skate in practice and sit in the press box, or be sent down to the AHL, and play every night. Keep in mind, you may not play in the NHL, but you do get the NHL pay. Down on the farm, you draw an AHL salary. If it’s me, I want to play. I would want to play all the time in a competitive capacity, than skate in practice, and watch the games. Granted, the money is way less, but if you go down and work hard, there is always the chance to go back up. I’m interested in the opinion of the forum on this one. Drop the gloves, and get in the fray.
Hockey’s Halfway Point
ESPN’s Scott Burnside chimes in with a good read marking the absolute middle of the season. What if they were to dole out trophies this weekend as opposed to the end of the season? Who would be on the receiving end of the recognition? Have a look at some of Scooter’s midterm grades, including hat tips to:
– Bryan McCabe’s ‘monster’ year in Toronto.
– Joe Thorton’s strong season despite the "WTF?!" moment we recently endured here in Beantown.
– The rookie race that is Crosby vs. Ovechkin.
– Mike O’Conell and Craig Patrick’s heated competition for the "Change the Sheets" award. Can you guess why I am calling it that?
Will Joe-Joe breathe new life into the Sharks? How long can the Rangers continue to dominate? Can Kovalchuk leave Jagr in the dust? 5 Bruins games, 2 Lockmonsters games and 1 BU game so far under my belt. And there’s really lots of ice time left – I am so, so thankful, but so, so broke. Ah, screw it. Goon ‘er up.
Steve Downie – The Super-Pest.
You know you’ve established yourself when you start to get comment-spam. I’m deleting ’em as quickly as I catch ’em, people. It’s almost flattering though. And enough with the penis enlargement ads, you spamming bastards. Who the hell have you been talking to?
David and Goliath – Downie and Malkin. No relation to Gord, the Super-Pest helped Canada in their 5-0 pimp-slap of the Russians, as you may or may not know. I don’t watch a lot of World Junior Hockey. In fact, I’ve never watched any. But Downie’s performance, spunk and grit reeks of a little Goon in the making.
…Downie and Khudobin were chirping back and forth, an exchange that ended when Downie took his glove off and held up four fingers."He was saying something, I couldn’t understand him," said Downie. "I know it must have been good, so I just gave him the four-goal symbol. He didn’t say anything after that."
Technically he’s a promising star right winger – but Goon, as we like to bestow the title, can be about the ‘tude too. My Grandmother would call Downie, "cheeky", probably right before driving to his hometown of Newmarket for some gravestone rubbings. But regardless, if he were a little taller and heavier Steve would undoubtedly be a bonafide bruiser-to-be. And then there’s that silly little habit he has of attacking his teammates.
The rules have changed in the NHL (literally) and little Stevie could be a slugging star in Philly (by way of being kicked off the Windsor Spitfires) if he can get past all the cross-checking in the head nonsense. This tournament win may have redeemed his tattered reputation, has definitely ensured him a chance at the show, and I suppose we’ll see where the bugger ends up. Be it the Flyers or be it anger management counseling. It’s Friday night and I’m rambling. Have a great weekend, everyone.
New Year, New Goonblog
Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year. I myself, drank too much at the Patriots game New Year’s Day, and then drank waaaaaaaaay to much at the Bruins game the next day. In my defense, drinking was the only entertainment, as the B’s lost 1-0 in what could only be described as the anti barn burner of the year. I have watched grass grow that was more entertaining. In the spirit of the New Year, I have a couple of Resolutions.
1. I resolve to write more. I have been slacking, and I have no excuse.
2. I resolve to go deeper. I have noticed more fights in the last couple of weeks. I want to know why. I will share my theories, and not just have re-caps.
3. I resolve to keep it interesting. Again, I don’t want this to be a fight re-cap site. I want this to be as much about entertainment, as fights.
4. I resolve to keep evolving. Dave and I have a shit load of ideas. We need to apply them.
That’s just a few. There are more, but I don’t want to turn this into a Dr. Phil episode. Trust me. The less we get into my psyche, the better! Happy New Year!