ss_blog_claim=16c3290463c4ffb61d43c6c83eaf77d8
June 28, 2007
By: Chris @ 5:01 am in: Chris, Gary Bettman, GoonSquad, NHL, Slap Shot | Discussion (8)

I have been on what medical professionals might describe as “a bit of a bender”. I have been neglecting the site, and the 99 at the top of my hill has been reaping the rewards. I have been MEANING to write, if that’s any consolation. Problem is its end of quarter and as such, people at the office are stressed. Every night someone is looking to stop in for one or seven, and they know to stop at my cube first. Anyhow, I am tired, and my liver hurts.

Three things happened while I was (blacked) out. This should bring us up to speed.

1. Brian Burke is my hero. The Ducks, who are an early favorite for my West Coast Team on Center Ice come fall, won the cup. They did so by beating the Senators in every way possible. They beat them physically, mentally, and beat them on the scoreboard. They play a rough and tumble style, and I love it. Through the regular season, they will beat you the same way. This includes fighting. People say fighting is on its way out? Burkey says, well, I’ll have all the guns at the OK Corral then. My point? Well, shortly after they win it all, he signs Travis Moen, and George Parros. Moen was a huge part of the cup win and for those of you that follow the American league, will remember he made his way as a tough guys for a few seasons while a Chicago farm hand. Parros, who didn’t dress in the finals, is a tough guy pure and simple. Plus, he’s got a 70’s porn moustache that rivals no one. Message to the rest of the West, better break glass in case of emergency on your tough guys. This flock of Ducks will not be pushed around.

2. Jeremy Jacobs. When I saw that Mr. Jacobs was being named to the NHL board of directors, I was glad I have been hammered for the better part of two weeks. This move made me think the end was near, and had I been sober, I would have been terrified. Nowhere in the 10 ways to improve the NHL does it say install some cheap, money grubbing a hole that really only thinks about the bottom line to help improve the league. If you weren’t sure about the NHL being the most backward thinking old boy network in all of pro sports, here’s your proof. Our buddies at www.pleasesellthebruins.com must have shit themselves upon hearing this crap. I hope they’re OK! Does anyone else picture Gary Bettman laughing maniacally as David Stern looks on saying, “We did it David! We’ve ruined the game forever! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

3. Who did Angelo Esposito sleep with that he shouldn’t have? I haven’t seen something drop that far and fast since Carrie dumped me in High School because she found out I was still banging Susan. I do find it VERY fishy the consensus number 1 a year ago winds up with Sid and the Kids in Pittsburgh though. A little too convenient no?

Free Agency opens Sunday. Why am I excited? The stupid Bruins don’t have any money because of stupid Chara’s stupid contract…ah crap, I was going to stop drinking today…..



June 27, 2007
By: The Ref @ 1:42 am in: Slap Shot | Discussion (2)

I was treated by the critics as the cinematic anti-Christ, polluting the vocabularies of upstanding American youth.” - Nancy Dowd.

Have we ever got a special treat for the GoonSquad today! This fascinating article is straight from the fevered fingertips of none other than Nancy Dowd, the woman who started it all when she penned the script for Slap Shot way back in 1977. She had no idea how massively the movie would contribute to popular culture, but we’ll love her for it, forever. Originally a newsletter, this article is reprinted with the exclusive permission of MadBrothers.com, which incidentally is the best source of official Slap Shot merchandise, anywhere.

“First, I want everyone in Slap Shot Nation to know that I do not participate in any profits from merchandising. My endorsement of the Mad Brothers has two reasons: one, I like the Mad Brothers. They have the guts to be legitimate, not rip-off artists. For all of you who have bought the fakes, mefiez-vous. Buy only the real thing. And, two, I like their web site. In the words of Reggie Dunlop paying tribute to that legendary small town newspaper sports reporter, Dickie Dunn, Madbrothers.com has “really caught the spirit of the thing.”

Alex and Mathieu asked me to write something for you fans. I am humbled by that request but I don’t want to bore anyone. What do they want to know, I asked. How you got the idea for Slap Shot, they replied. I am not certain any writer can answer that question factually. Slap Shot is fiction, and fiction is not fact. Does anyone know where ideas come from? But here in hindsight is how I think I got the idea. Next year is the thirtieth anniversary of Slap Shot’s release. There has been a lot of water under the bridges of Flood City. Maybe we should start with where I got the idea. Or where I was when I got the idea. And when. 1974-5 in Los Angeles, California. Very far from the Charlestown I created. Very far from the Massachusetts mill town where I was born and grew up and which I had survived and escaped. As far as I could get, in fact.

Slap Shot Anniversary

The 1970’s for those of you who missed them were a fabulous time to be young and brave. Rules were meant to be broken. Make it up as you go along. Use your imagination. Healthcare plans, multi-national corporations, globalization were not on the map. They lurked beneath, of course. But life and what to make of it were up for grabs. And there was a tremendous feeling that all was new and beautiful if you had the nerve to make it so. A war was raging in the background, as another does today, with the difference the draft no longer exists. The opposition to that other war had given an entire generation the will to break the rules. Our President, Nixon, had quit one step ahead of a prison term. One can always hope that might happen today.

I had my masters from UCLA , and by the happiest irony, my closest friends there were and are Quebecois. You will find their last names on sweaters in the picture and in the script, Drouin, Morisset, Lussier. My father was as old as the century. He wrote endless self-serving letters which I generally disregarded. One letter caught my eye. He had visited my brother who was playing minor league hockey in Pennsylvania. Of course, he was appalled, but I was no longer buying into my father’s social aspirations. Like many American men of his generation, my father saw his children as extensions of his own ambition. We were supposed to be on an ever upward American trajectory, starting with my grandparents, the noble starving Irish immigrants, moving on to my parents, the allegedly hard-working first generation of the American Dream and then on to their children - one putative writer and one minor league hockey player. Huh? Things had not worked out as he had hoped. The soaring rocket had veered off course. The girl who had graduated from a fancy college, with a year in Paris, and was supposed to marry well was looking, in his own terms, like a railroad worker in jeans and a blue work shirt. And the son, the name carrier, was playing minor league hockey on a loser team in a loser town. If my mother doesn’t figure in this narrative, she was lost in a drug and alcohol induced haze. In other words, we were the awful truth of the American family two hundred years after the founding of the republic.

But like the founders, I was determined to be free. I wasn’t going to be a Greenwich, Connecticut housewife married to a stockbroker who commuted to Manhattan so that he could bring home the bacon while I raised over-indulged brats who would repeat the cycle. In my 1950’s suburban/mill town childhood, I had seen enough desperate housewives to last a lifetime. So when I read that my college educated brother was playing hockey in some dump of a mill town in Pennsylvania and my father was shocked, I thought oh spare me. The team and the town made him recall his own hardscrabble youth in Springfield, Massachusetts where the minor league hockey games were so rough that the brawls spilled out into the parking lot. “Old time hockey,” he wrote. “Toe Blake, the great Eddie Shore.” I was getting on with life. I had no time for an old man’s reminiscing. Soon I received a call from my brother whom I barely knew. My parents marriage had ended years before splitting the four of us down the middle. It was midnight LA time and I was at the house of a bad news boyfriend. Three AM in Johnstown, Pennsylvania and my brother was drunk. The bottom line of the conversation: his team was to fold or be sold. I asked: who OWNS the Jets? He had no idea. And at that moment I knew I was going to write the screenplay that would become Slap Shot. I had never been to Johnstown, never seen my brother play, never met his team, but I had my story. Owns. Owns. Many of you know that scene by heart. In the 1970’s it was important - well, it’s always important - but then it mattered to know who owned you. That question had been my pre-occupation for years. I didn’t want a destiny, received ideas. I refused to be a 1950’s zombie. I didn’t want to be owned. It was incredible to me that my brother did not know who owned his team. If you didn’t know who owned you, what did you know? You see, if I were going to be free, I had to know everything. I did not want to stumble around in the darkness and waste my precious life. I had to know the truth. At all costs. That was me. So I wrote an outline of a story about a man desperate to stay free as the Chrysler plant moves ever nearer. And I went home as it were. I bought a cheap ticket “back east” as they say in California, back to a rusting mill town, back to lowered expectations, back to narrowness and shuttered minds, back to everything I had run from. And I wrote Slap Shot.

But it was you made Slap Shot a classic. There was no merchandising when it was released, and I was treated by the critics as the cinematic anti-Christ, polluting the vocabularies of upstanding American youth. But you stood by Slap Shot for three generations. You bought the videos (even the horrific release with the cheesy computer music), you bought the DVD’s, you wore the Halloween costumes, hosted the Slap Shot parties, memorized the lines, and laughed and laughed. That is the real measure of a motion picture, not the opening weekend grosses. When an object is embraced by a popular culture, it takes on a life of its own. Thanks to you, Slap Shot has that life.

So, my old friends, in closing I want to evoke those deathless words spoken by the immortal player coach Reg Dunlop nearly thirty years ago: “Don’t ever play Lady of Spain again.” - Nancy Dowd.

Whether you’ve been a fanatical fan for many years and are currently searching for a Hanson Brothers discount Halloween costume, or are a relative newcomer to the greatest hockey movie of all time - well, the most hilariously crude anyway - it’s absolutely amazing to see SlapShot revered to the extent it still is, 30 years on. Who’d have thunk it?



June 19, 2007
By: Chris @ 7:19 am in: Chris, GoonSquad | Discussion (23)

OK, so Boston fired Dave Lewis. Or reassigned him or whatever the hell. Oh yeah, one of the assistants too. Good riddance. I really can’t say exactly how many times I said on this very blog how poorly the Bruins were coached last season. They had zero heart, obviously weren’t held accountable for actions, and were undisciplined all over the ice. From the unbelievable amount of too many men on the ice penalties, several on the PP or PK, to the re god damn diculos amount of stupid game killing penalties they took, it was clear they were a poorly coached bunch from the get go. I am glad Lewis is gone. Good riddance.

Here’s the issue. Who the hell is taking this job? If you are a hockey guy, do you want to come to a town where no one really cares about the team (ownership included), and there should be a turnstile installed on the coaches office door? No, I didn’t think so. Can I ask this? What the hell was wrong with Sully? I think the players liked him, and I am quite sure they would not have taken nearly as many bad penalties with him behind the bench as they did with Lewis. I think Mr. Chrielli made a big mistake in going with Lewis last season. He made a lot of personnel changes, perhaps leaving the coach alone might have been a good idea.

Moving forward from here, who are the choices? I am hearing Mike Milbury, Claude Julien, and maybe Scott Gordon. There is a fourth candidate, and I have to think it’s probably Pat Quinn. Could Pat Quinn coach the Bruins? I think so. I’m not sure there are enough fans left that remember Quinn almost breaking Orr in half many moons ago, so that shouldn’t be an issue. He had some success with the Leaf, and is a task master. Something the Bruins really need. Whoever gets the job, I have two things I need you to do.

1. Take the “C” off of Chara’s jersey. He doesn’t deserve to be captain of this team. I’m not sure anyone really has enough leadership to be the Bruins captain right now, so how about three “A’s”?

2. Pull a Herb Brooks on these guys right from the get go. Whoever gets this gig needs to lay it on the line. No bullshit. If you can’t play it my way, you can’t play here.

It’s pretty simple. Give these guys an honest effort, and ice a team that at least appears like it’s trying to try and care. I for one, think the B’s aren’t that far away from being good. They have some of the right pieces in place. I think they just need some guidance. Is Don Cherry available?



June 16, 2007
By: Killer @ 1:55 am in: Gary Bettman, Killer | Discussion (4)

Sorry it’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been busy cleaning up my vomit from watching the Playoffs. So the 2006 / 2007 NHL Season is finally over. What did you think? Glad you asked….I am very and I mean very concerned with the NHL. The league is in shambles and on the brink of falling off the radar screen. Viewership for the Stanley Cup Playoffs was abysmal, the regular season wasn’t much better, fan attendance sucked at most stadiums and the players seem like they don’t even give a rat’s ass. As long as they get paid is there attitude. What does Bettman’s plan for improvement look like? What is the vision going forward? How will the NHL come out of this funk? The answer = no one has a clue including Bettman.

Corporate America is a wonderful place to be if you are the CEO of a company and revenue is up. Your pay is off the charts, your stock portfolio is longer than me and Chris’s rap sheets from the local 5-0 and your perks are unlimited. When was the last time Michael Dell paid for a meal in Austin, Texas (Dell’s world HQ)? Never. What about when things go bad? You are shown the door. How long do we as fans have to stand for Bettman running the NHL?

The NBA just concluded its season last night, thank god. I despise the NBA almost as much as I despise Ottawa but you gotta hand it to David Stern, the guy has that business humming along. He pushes the star players into the best markets, the brand NBA is thriving not only here in North America but also globally, he has negotiated tremendous TV contracts with the World Wide Leader, ABC & TNT and he rules with an iron fist. Sometimes that can come back to haunt him like the recent suspension of 2 players from Phoenix for leaving the bench in a playoff game. But hey, give the guy his due…he is consistent and very successful. You may not like him but the bottom line is he delivers. Can you say the same about Bettman? No fucking way.

The new Commissioner of the NFL has show solid leadership in his first year at the helm. He is expanding the brand globally with games in London and Mexico as well as future games in possibly China. He has also set the tone with off-field issues by players with the recent suspension of a full season for Pacman Jones and 8 games for Tank Johnson. What type of message is he sending? One that reads loud and clear: You are fortunate to play this game, don’t take it for granted because the NFL stands for Not For Long career wise. The NFL will be around a lot longer than Pacman Jones and the rest of those degenerates.

MLB is America’s pastime. My old graphic arts teacher Mr. McGuire could be the commissioner and not run it in the ground. The game has too much history and is played during the best weather months of the year. Bud Selig is no rocket scientist but he is leading MLB in the right direction.

Back in April, I wrote about the Top 10 ways to save the NHL. Two months have now passed and I can honestly say I don’t think it can be saved. Fans of the NHL, do you feel satisfied with the job performance by Bettman? Do you feel confident in the abilities of Bettman to lead the NHL out of this funk and into prosperity? Like our buddies who created pleasesellthebruins someone else has created firebettman. As I have said in the past, I love hockey. The game has changed over the years and I understand some of those changes are necessary. I just don’t want the game to go away. I need my fix.

Enjoy the off-season Goonbloggers and let’s hope things improve.



June 10, 2007
By: Chris @ 1:19 am in: Brian McGratton, Chris, Chris Neil, NHL | Discussion (13)

Then…depression set in. It’s all over until October, well, September when camp opens. Congratulations to the 2007 Champs, the Anaheim Ducks. I like this club for a couple of reasons. One being they honor the military history of the area by having various colors of the armed services on their uniforms. Notice the red stripe on the pants? Same blood stripe on the USMC Dress Blues. I dig it. Secondly, I like the Ducks because they love to fight in the regular season. Brian Burke gets my vote for GM of the year.

I thought the final series was a good one. All of the games, with the exception of the last one, were entertaining and there was a lot of emotion, and skill. I can’t believe there were no fights though. Back in the old days, no way Pronger gets away with the elbow on Dean McAmmond. If he tried that 10 years ago, Brain McGratton would have killed him. This day and age, McGratton doesn’t even dress. That is a discussion for another day. I have some notes on the series.

The Senators were a beaten bunch. They came out in game 5 totally flat, and despite a period of time in the second period when they controlled play, they were awful. They looked like a team that had already accepted the fact they were going to lose.

Jason Spezza is a baby. He needs to learn to play more of a team game. Sure he is a pure sniper, and a gifted goal scorer, but he is selfish, and needs to grow up.

Ryan Getzlaf is my Conn Smythe winner. S. Nieds was a weird choice I thought. This was a big coming out party for Getzy, and Andy McDonald too. Like I said abut Getzlaf. I saw him in the A last year and he was atrocious. He’s really picked up his game, and will soon be one of the best in the NHL.

The NHL is in trouble. From the horse racing incident to the fact about 5 people were watching the finals, not including, me and Killer, this league needs a shot in the arm. A resurgence like they had in the expansion era of the ‘90’s would be nice. To do that, they need to make some changes in the game I feel. I personally thought the playoffs were great, but I still think the game needs work.

I am depressed I only have baseball for the next couple of months. This sucks. See you in September.