For those of you that were looking to read something interesting about hockey, I apologize. To be honest, is there even anything to talk about these days? Didn’t think so.

So I had a bit of a boon doggle a few weeks back and wanted to share my adventures with you all. My employer was recently purchased by a German company and they had us all over for a Christmas party / meeting the week before XMAS. Yeah you read that right…a Christmas party, not some fuckin politically correct Holiday party!

Me and the crew headed across the pond to see our comrades. The flight was in two parts; part 1: Boston to Amsterdam / part 2: Amsterdam to Dusseldorf. Lucky enough for me I was upgraded to Amsterdam. Nothing beats first class when you have to fly but first class on an international flight is simply orgasmic. The plan consists of: whack a few stiff drinks back, have a nice meal, drink a few glasses of quality wine with dinner, whack a few more stiff drinks back and then pass out. Next thing you know it’s the next day and you are landing in Europe. I would like to apologize to my fellow passengers as my gas that night was horrific.

The connecting flight and meetings in Germany aren’t worth mentioning. Although, I will say Dusseldorf is a decent city. We spent sometime touring around and hit a few of the hot spots that included great brew pubs. A good time was had by all.

The fun starts on the way home as me and another colleague decided to spend Saturday in Amsterdam. We had to connect in Amsterdam anyways and thought why not spend a full day and night being tourists in Amsterdam. This would enable us to catch an earlier flight back to the states the next morning as we would not need to travel from Dusseldorf at O dark hundred. Anyone been to Amsterdam? Than you know what I am about to write. For those that haven’t, I have but one recommendation…..GET YOUR ASS TO AMSTERDAM ASAP!!!!

Forget Vegas for a bachelor party or Myrtle Beach for a guys golf weekend, the land of the clogs is the place to go. Amsterdam is similar to New Orleans as it is below sea level. It is surrounded by canals named after colors which makes getting around a no brainer even for those that need GPS to get home everyday from work. We began our day with a stop at the Anne Frank house. If you don’t know the story of her you might wanna re-think if all those drugs you did in High School were really worth it. It was a very moving experience and for me to say that is pretty amazing as I have a heart like Vince McMahon. Her family lived in fear of their lives for 2 years never once leaving the house. Can you imagine living like that in 2008?

We hit a few shops afterwards as my colleague loves to stuff his luggage with useless trinkets from around the Globe. At one of the shops we asked for help locating a good local eatery for lunch. The kind lady sent us along to a great pub called Durty Nellies. The food was great and the Heineken was even better. It’s kinda like drinking Molson in Canada. The difference from US Molson and Canadian Molson is night and day. I’m not a big Heineken fan in the US but it was very tasty in Holland.

Now that our bellies were full, along with our bladders, it was time to venture out to the Red Light District and “Coffee Shops”. Wholly shit Goonblogers, I walked into paradise and I was still alive! As we walked down the street there are hundreds of doors with Red Lights lit above them. The streets were packed with horny men from all over the world looking for action. The entire industry is regulated in Holland and the “workers” are tested on a routine basis for diseases. They even segregate things so that certain parts of town have the white chicks then you can move on to Asians, blacks and even some trannies for those real SMF. I thought it was my duty an honor as a GoonBlog contributor to research and educate our readers in case you ever get the chance to visit this gem of a spot.

Each worker is set up in a room about 12×10 that includes a glass front door that they sit behind in very little clothing, basically bra and panties along with a bed. Some are located on the second level from the street and include showers. When they are “occupied” they pull a shade down on the front glass door. The going rate is $50 Euros’ for 50 minutes. That is the opening bid and is negotiable based on your demands. So for example: Chris would probably like a girl to whisper into his ears Tie Domi’s fighting major statistics while he eats pizza off her breasts. The Ref may want his lass to sing the Canadian National Anthem while he throttles her like an Alaskan hunting seal pups. Those requests may cost a bit more.

Walking into a room, you may feel shame similar to being escorted to the sin bin after committing a foolish hooking penalty in the offensive zone but exiting the room, the euphoric feeling is similar to being the new kid who takes down George Laraque with one punch, not that I would know or anything!

The “Coffee Shops” do not sell any alcohol but they can sell you enough Hashish and Marijuana that you forget alcohol exists. The first one I entered was about half the size of a typical hockey locker room and EVERYONE is smoking. I was stoned before I even asked for a menu. It brought me back to the days of Al’s basement in high school. You don’t have to worry about bumping into anyone and having words as all the patrons are in very good moods.

It was a quick 24 hours and very blurry from a recollection standpoint but I hope I painted a good enough picture for you. The place is insane and I highly recommend visiting it before you leave this earth.

Here’s the idea I had. I think it’d be cool if Sunday evening before the late games start, I can do a Goonblog weekly wrap up. I’m thinking it can be some odds and ends stuff we on staff may have missed, or just some things on my mind. This week will be a little different because there aren’t any late games, but MOL is watching Desperate Housewives, so I pretty much have nothing better to do anyway.

The NHL regular season got underway with all the fanfare of a new Dunkin Donuts opening in Massachusetts. One day there was no Dunkin Donuts, the next, there was. They pop up so often around here no one notices anymore. My point being, the new season started and I bet if you asked 100 people, I’d say maybe 5 would know the season is underway. I have Center Ice once again, so I got Saturday’s game, and I found it to be a sloppy, Special Teams affair. I love the new NHL! Not. This just in NHL, in order to grow your product, you need to advertise, and make sure what you are selling doesn’t suck. Negative on both.

Saturday night I got my first live game of the season. MOL and I had a prior engagement. When our plans changed, I went to the Devils and Soundtigers pre season tilt in Lowell. It was a fairly decent game actually. We had decided we were not going to the Bruins on Sunday due to Thank You cards, and a visit with my mother, so I was especially happy to be in the building. There was even a fight which was a pretty good tilt. Does anyone know what is up with Gordie Dwyer and the Islanders? I saw he didn’t play today, or yesterday for them. I don’t think he played Friday night either. Was he released? Sent to Bridgeport? I didn’t see him in Lowell with the scratches, or on the ice. Any info would be appreciated.

Sunday I watched the “nationally televised” (if you can call VS. national) debut of NHL ’08. This game was equally sloppy, but at least we saw some even strength goals, and hey, there was even a fight. George Parros and Scott Thornton got into it in the second with the Ducks up big and Thornton trying to spark his Kings. Thornton I think won the battle, landing some very good punches. Parros landed a few of his own, and got the takedown, but I scored it for Thornton for more thrown and landed. Alas, the Ducks won the war winning 4-1. They are back on VS. Wednesday against the Red Wings, while the Kings are off until Saturday. I like the Kings. They have some young talent worth watching. They will be a West Coast favorite I feel. I also love the Ducks in your face style. I will keep tabs on them as well.

Finally we have the Steve “Don’t Call Me Gord” Downie issue. Frequent reader, poster, and Goonblog friend, Todd St. Louis sees it as a guy in the show trying to finish a check. I agree with him to a certain degree. Downie is a young guy trying to make a team, and to do so, he needs to finish checks. On the other hand, I feel he did a little more than finish a check there. He left his feet to do it, and hit a guy in the head hard enough to bounce him off the boards. I am 1000% sure he didn’t mean to hurt McAmmond, and has called to apologize, but it doesn’t change the fact he could have very seriously hurt Dean McAmmond.

Steve Downie has had a very rocky road to the NHL. The kid has a shit load of talent, and I see him as a Sean Avery type player. The type of guy that gets under your skin in a big way. Right now, he’s just trying to make the club and is doing whatever he thinks he needs to do to get on the NHL roster. When looking at it over and over, I think what he did was cheap, and is the wrong way to go about making the Team. There is finishing a check, and there is a cheap shot, and I think Downie laid a big cheap shot on Dean McAmmond. If and when he gets up to the NHL, I suggest he have his head on a swivel when facing the Senators. They will most assuredly be after this youngster.

So that’s the week that was. Off to the office tomorrow for my first day back in a week. I’m pumped. I hope you are picking up my sarcasm. Lots of games this week. Killer, bring the wings Friday for the Bruins, I got plenty of beer. We’ll need it for this edition of the Bruins.

I would like to personally thank everyone for the well wishes, and words of support and encouragement you have given MOL and I. Saturday was a very emotional day for the both of us, and it means so much to us that everyone could be there and share the day with us. To the Goonsquad in attendance. Thanks for being there. We really could not have asked for a better day eh? I hope you boys got enough to eat and drink. Judging from the two posts while I was away, I’m guessing you did.

MOL and I had a fantastic time on our Honeymoon. We did the same thing every day. Wake up. Go to the beach. Eat lunch. Take a nap. Eat dinner. Go to Sharky’s. Go home. It was a great time just sitting on the beach reading the Hockey News, and doing nothing. I had never been to the Vineyard, but I will most assuredly be going back. The people are super friendly, and they all seem genuinely interested in making sure you are enjoying yourself. Excellent times to say the least.

So, now I am back with many wedding thank you cards to write. I am refreshed, and am looking forward to the puck dropping on Saturday at noon for the Ducks and Kings. I love the Ducks in your face game, and I think the Kings have some very entertaining youngsters on their roster. Plus, it’ll be awesome to see two West Coast teams play in East Coast time. I am also trying to get MOL to go to the Bruins game on Sunday against the Isles. My boy Gordie Dwyer has been scoring goals, and dropping the mitts so I’d love to see him in action….provided he doesn’t get sent down…or released……Anyway, good to be back boys! Killer and I have some stuff coming up for the season that will be fun and entertaining, and The Ref is always lurking, ready to chip in his two cents. Hell, we may even get Hammer to write something again?

It’s Wednesday and I am slowly getting back to feeling somewhat ok after the wedding of Chris & Amy. What a shindig!! As the Ref mentioned, all of GoonSqaud was in attendance for a fantastic event. Some of the highlights include:

• The Hammer greeting me at the entrance with beer in hand
• The small bird bath (ok - maybe it was a pool) that developed on the ground below Chris from the sweat dripping off of his head as he awaited the arrival of his bride
• The Ref sporting a swanky new corduroy blazer in 80+ degree weather (he’s from the motherland eh, what do you expect?)
• Sitting with Chris’s co-workers and telling them some great stories about Chris (sorry about that kid, maybe it was the booze talking, but if you get fired on Monday it’s really not my fault)
• Taz exiting the port-o-potty chewing on the white mint

I wish you both the best as you navigate through life as Mr. & Mrs. you definitely married up Chris, nice work!

I wanted to share with you a brief update on my summer vacation as I have neglected this site for far too long. I played a lot of golf, drank a lot of beer, hit the ice a few times, picked up new skates and a stick, chased the Million Dollar Babies all over creation and watched my grass go from the envy of the neighborhood to the Mojave Desert as we have had zero rain in the Northeast. All in all the summer of 2007 was a good one and I hope all of you enjoyed yours as well.

Did you hear the news??? Cam Neely is employed again by the Boston Bruins. Unfortunately, he won’t be seen flying down the right wing unloading a boomer top shelf or lowering his shoulder as he blasts an opponent off the puck in the corner. Nope, Cam is now the Vice President of the Bruins. I love Cam for the player he was, his involvement within the community off the ice both during his playing days as well as after and his drive to be the best at what he does.

The B’s are screwed as long as Jeremy and his smarty pants son Charley Jacobs are at the helm. Peter Chiarelli is a dead man walking this season. If the B’s stumble out of the gate (which they will), it will be Peter who will take the fall. How can Cam make an impact on this team while working directly with dead man walking and smarty pants? I don’t see it happening this season but I am very optimistic that he can make an impact down the road.

You can hear it in his voice when he made the press rounds yesterday. He is clearly upset at the current state of the Bruins and wants them to improve. Will it happen this year? Not a snowballs chance in hell. As a B’s fan, I must say that this is a solid organizational move and one that I hope will pan out. If it doesn’t, oh well they’ve sucked the past 15 years what’s another 15? I still have the Pats and Sox kicking ass.

Sorry it’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been busy cleaning up my vomit from watching the Playoffs. So the 2006 / 2007 NHL Season is finally over. What did you think? Glad you asked….I am very and I mean very concerned with the NHL. The league is in shambles and on the brink of falling off the radar screen. Viewership for the Stanley Cup Playoffs was abysmal, the regular season wasn’t much better, fan attendance sucked at most stadiums and the players seem like they don’t even give a rat’s ass. As long as they get paid is there attitude. What does Bettman’s plan for improvement look like? What is the vision going forward? How will the NHL come out of this funk? The answer = no one has a clue including Bettman.

Corporate America is a wonderful place to be if you are the CEO of a company and revenue is up. Your pay is off the charts, your stock portfolio is longer than me and Chris’s rap sheets from the local 5-0 and your perks are unlimited. When was the last time Michael Dell paid for a meal in Austin, Texas (Dell’s world HQ)? Never. What about when things go bad? You are shown the door. How long do we as fans have to stand for Bettman running the NHL?

The NBA just concluded its season last night, thank god. I despise the NBA almost as much as I despise Ottawa but you gotta hand it to David Stern, the guy has that business humming along. He pushes the star players into the best markets, the brand NBA is thriving not only here in North America but also globally, he has negotiated tremendous TV contracts with the World Wide Leader, ABC & TNT and he rules with an iron fist. Sometimes that can come back to haunt him like the recent suspension of 2 players from Phoenix for leaving the bench in a playoff game. But hey, give the guy his due…he is consistent and very successful. You may not like him but the bottom line is he delivers. Can you say the same about Bettman? No fucking way.

The new Commissioner of the NFL has show solid leadership in his first year at the helm. He is expanding the brand globally with games in London and Mexico as well as future games in possibly China. He has also set the tone with off-field issues by players with the recent suspension of a full season for Pacman Jones and 8 games for Tank Johnson. What type of message is he sending? One that reads loud and clear: You are fortunate to play this game, don’t take it for granted because the NFL stands for Not For Long career wise. The NFL will be around a lot longer than Pacman Jones and the rest of those degenerates.

MLB is America’s pastime. My old graphic arts teacher Mr. McGuire could be the commissioner and not run it in the ground. The game has too much history and is played during the best weather months of the year. Bud Selig is no rocket scientist but he is leading MLB in the right direction.

Back in April, I wrote about the Top 10 ways to save the NHL. Two months have now passed and I can honestly say I don’t think it can be saved. Fans of the NHL, do you feel satisfied with the job performance by Bettman? Do you feel confident in the abilities of Bettman to lead the NHL out of this funk and into prosperity? Like our buddies who created pleasesellthebruins someone else has created firebettman. As I have said in the past, I love hockey. The game has changed over the years and I understand some of those changes are necessary. I just don’t want the game to go away. I need my fix.

Enjoy the off-season Goonbloggers and let’s hope things improve.

Anyone catch this game last night? Wholly hell broke loose after Chris Drury from Buffalo got nailed near the Senators net by Chris Neil after trying to unload a twisted wrister in the second period. Head coach of the Sabres, Lindy Ruff, thought it was a cheap shot so he sent out the tuff guys on the very next shift.

What ensued was a good old fashion throw down with guys pairing off. The best part was Ray “Boom Boom” Emery skated towards center ice and met up with his counter part Martin “Bye Bye” Biron for a classic goalie tussle. Emery spent the majority of the time laughing and seemingly enjoying being in a fight. He even got off of Biron after they tumbled to the ice and allowed him to get back on his skates to continue the battle. Here is where things deteriorated. Andrew Peters from Buffalo, who was trying to fight anyone in a Senators uniform, stepped in front of Biron and started going at it with Emery. Give Emery credit as he held his own and still kept smiling. What bothers me is that no one from Ottawa came to Emery’s defense!!! Fuckin pretty boy speed demon Dany Heatley never even took his fucking gloves off. Those pansies from Ottawa just sat there and watched there goalie tussle with a legit meathead. How can this happen? How do you as a hockey player sit back and watch your goalie go at it and not step in? Who cares if he beats your brains in at least you gave it a go. As long as the earth is round and hockey is played on ice, nobody and I mean nobody should be able to fight a goalie like that and get away with it.

If I was a Senators fan, I would jump ship ASAP. This team has NO heart. You wonder why year after year they get whacked in the early rounds of the playoffs? They don’t have the balls to compete. If I was Bryan Murray, the head coach of Ottawa, I would bench the guys who were on this ice during that brawl and didn’t stick up for there goalie. If I was the GM, John Mukler, I would trade those gutless jellyfishes. It makes me sick to think how these woosies can wake up this morning and look in the mirror. How can they show up in the locker room today and expect to be respected by teammates? The whole thing just makes me sick. Bottom line is we saw a good brawl last night but we also saw the lowest point in the history of Hockey when teammates didn’t come to the aid of there goalie. You think this shit would have happened 10, 15, 20 + years ago? No fucking way.

How many times do we have to listen to that question? Look at the NBA, MLB, NFL and hell even NASCAR for all you gear heads out there, you fight you are suspended and or fined large amounts of $$$. Some examples include Carmelo Anthony hitting some punk from the Knicks with his purse and got suspended for 15 games while former Sox hurler Bronson Arroyo got suspended for 6 games after a fight against the Tampa Bay DevilDogs. Were either of those fights necessary? I’m sure if you asked Melo and Bronson they would respond with a resounding YES but in all honesty, those fisticuffs had no real impact on the outcome of the game.

Take last night’s B’s tilt vs. Edmonton. The pre-game started with a nice tribute to “The Chief” Johnny Bucyk for his 50 yeas of service to the organization. He even got a Rolex and a brand new Volvo SUV for his troubles. I’m not sure that’s enough for the torture of dealing with Jeremy and his smarty pants son Charley Jacobs all these years but hey to each their own. The arena had a nice buzz to it and I’m sure so did Chris wherever he was! The game opened with a few sloppy plays by both sides with all in all not much spirited action. Then all hell breaks loose when Jeremy Reich busts his ass down to prevent an icing and bangs into Matt Greene. Wammo kablamo the gloves are off and away they go. Solid scrap with Reich getting the nod in this tilt.

By the way, other than a guy getting one punched - hockey fights, for the most part, end up pretty even. Now the place is rockin, fans are pounding beers along with their chests, Chris I am sure is doing the same and you can sense the B’s have some life. Just over 2 minutes after the fight, the B’s strike on a PP followed by another goal and take a 2-0 lead in to the first intermission. Eventually leaving the ice with a 3-0 W and two much needed points.

Without that fight, who knows what would have happened in this game. With it, one can clearly understand what role fighting has in the NHL. This fight changed momentum, got the home crowd into the game, sparked life into a near lifeless team, got me to put the remote down and not change it to, god help me as I type this…American Idol. That hurt, sorry about that, its’ part of my recovery process I am going through by being honest about things. Fighting is listed as a 5 minute penalty in the NHL (other additional minutes can be incurred due to the Instigator rule). It’s as clear as Wet Lite lubricant. Fighting has always and will continue to play a significant impact in the NHL. The day fighting in the NHL incurs a similar punishment as other professional sports is the day hockey will truly die. I hope for my sake that never occurs. Long Live the pugilist!

I was on my way home last week after a few days on the road for the gig that pays the bills. To set the stage let’s back up a few hours. After a wild night on 6th street in Austin, TX compliments of the old expense account, I arrive at the airport extremely hung-over to check in. Wouldn’t ya know it, my fine friends at Don’t Expect Luggage To Arrive have upgraded me to First Class all the way home. Before I was able to get my IPOD fired up, I had already tossed back a screwdriver. I guess my overtly gay flight attendant had some ulterior motives as he kept em coming. You know you are doing pretty well when the flight attendant says “Sir, you drank all the vodka on this flight”. By the time this bad news was shared with me, I had had my share of OJ at that point so I was happy to move onto the King of Beers.

I step off the plane and begin my journey home to MBH and the Million Dollar babies. Who do I see coming the other way? None other than Mr. Raymond Bourque. Now I have met / seen him up close about 20 times in my life at various events. Without skipping a beat or slurring my speech, I reach back to Miss. Fairbrothers 9th and 10th grade French class (oh how I wanted her in every evil way) and bust out “Bonjour Raymond….Ca Va?” His response – “Bonjour, Ca Va Bien!” and that was it. My brush with greatness was quick and yet gave me the chills like you would not believe.

It got me thinking, when a superior athlete retires why does the next generation have to live up to them? I loved watching Bourque, Neely, Lafluer, 99, Mario, etc…but that doesn’t mean I want the next guy stepping into those skates to duplicate what his predecessor did. Of course I would love to have them possess similar characteristics but give the kids a break. Take Sid the Kid for instance. He’s got all the yackers making comments about comparing him to 99. Are you fuckin kidding me? 99? The greatest hockey player evah? That’s like my boss comparing me to Zig Ziglar. Each generation provides us with a handful of highly skilled and exceptionally talented players. Why don’t we just sit back and enjoy it vs. (no not the fuckin channel that nobody can find to watch hockey) yakking about how so and so was great and this kid ain’t no so and so!

The nervous energy I have is comparable to getting the call from the Big Club finally telling you to pack your bags and leave the AHL for good as I have been called upon to join the ranks of the GoonSquad. Who am I? Why am I here? No, I’m not that donkey (James Bond Stockdale) Ross Perot asked to be his VP back in the 1992 Presidential race. I’ve been a fan of hockey for over 30 years. Played with and against guys who have been in the show, are in the show (not many of them left these days) and plenty that would give their left nut just for one shift. I still chase the dream every Monday night and you know what? I fuckin love this game even if Gary Bettman has ruined it with his piss poor leadership and decision making abilities. I’ll save that rant for another day….more about me.

I am married with 2 boys; we’ll call them my Million Dollar babies. The oldest already has a pretty mean slapshot. I need to make friends with the local glass company as I see many a broken window in my future. I wonder when my Million Dollar babies grow up if they will get more ink in the sports pages or the police blotters. MBH thinks we are going for # 3 but little does she know I have an appointment with Dr. Snip Snip and this kids days of slipping one by the goalie are over, unless Hannu “Top Shelf” Toivonen is the goalie because we all know anybody can score on him.

I’m not loaded like Chris and can’t afford the NHL Package so my exposure to the game is via B’s telecasts or the occasional national tilt on come on say it with me…VERSUS. Who the fuck was the jackass who came up with that name? Can you imagine the suits sitting around a table looking each other in the eyes and saying yeah that name works, I really like it, let’s go with it. I miss the days of ESPN covering the league but I guess beggars can’t be choosers since post lock-out the ratings have been brutal.

Enough about me….Let’s hope the second half of the season has a few more throw downs we can talk about.