Top 10 Ways to Save the NHL

1. Eliminate the Instigator rule: The players hate it, the fans hate it and it just plain does not make sense. Let the men police themselves. If two willing combatants have an issue with each other they can settle things the right way; one-on-one! If some wing ding wants to fly around the ice taking liberties, he will quickly be approached and dealt with accordingly. Paul Mara had two Instigator penalties this season yeah you read that correctly – Paul Fuckin Mara! During one of his final games with the B’s before being traded to the Rangers, he was about to get into a scrap when the ref reminded him he had 2 and one more would get him suspended. The puss bag who he wanted to go with kept goading him fully knowing Paul couldn’t do anything.

2. Suspend hit from behind offenders: There has been WAY too many of these infractions this past season. Forget giving them a 2 minute penalty, toss their ass out of the game and suspend them. I know there will be a gray area and all that but getting blasted from behind is just about the worst thing – unless of course you are My Better Half who seems to enjoy it.

3. Get rid of half shields: When was the last time a player lost their vision? I know it happens but that’s the chance you take playing professional hockey. These foreign players run around the ice with there shields on and sticks flying. Not in North America hockey boys. Put Robocop back on the streets of Detroit.

4. Get some Studio Hosts who have a heart beat for National games: I hate the Monday Night Countdown crew on ESPN but they sure do get me fired up for Football. The Bed Time boys from Versus and NBC need to go. Bill Clement is just not cutting it as a Studio guy. His strength is as an analyst calling a game. Keith Jones is flat out horrible in the studio. Whatever he is getting paid he should give it all back to Versus with interest. Ray Chicken Parm Ferraro is decent but he seems to be holding back as to not offend anyone. Brett One Timer Hull is growing on me and improving week to week. Get some guys in there with energy and passion, please!

5. For shootouts, every player on the roster needs to participate: No reason the same 3 guys should be going night after night. I’m tired of seeing Marco Sturm, Patrice Bergeron and Phil Kessel. Maybe they don’t have to use every player since the bottom of the roster has a good amount of turnover but at least they could make the top 2 or 3 lines including D participate. Once a player attempts a shootout, he can’t participate again until the other members on his team have gone. Basically, I’m looking forward to George Laraque coming down on Henry Lundquist followed by Colton Orr sizing up Marc-Andre Fleury for a deek move. Do you think that would make Sports Center? You bet your ass it would.

6. Swap the broadcasts of back to back home and home games: The announcers for each team will have one of those broadcasts sent to the other teams’ viewers. With each NHL team having there games broadcast by muppets who are being paid by that team, the broadcasts are weighted in that teams favor. Imagine HockeyTown getting the feed from the Avalanche and vise versa? What about Toronto getting Ottawa’s feed? Can you imagine how many TV sets would be broken during a Canadians vs. Bruins game with the Boston area getting the French feed? Au Revoir Messieur Sony Plasma. How about Montreal having to listen to Dale I love Mr. Jacobs Arnold yelling What a save by Thomas after the puck missed the net by 5′?

7. Partner with YouTube: Put together weekly highlight packages including plays of the week, goals of the week, saves of the week, hits of the week and of course, fights of the week. The popularity of this site with the younger generation is off the charts. The amount of hits they get per day is almost as much as Bob Marley took back in the day! The packages don’t have to be anything special, just show some cool shit that will get potential viewers interested. The hockey fans that are watching now will always be here. The NHL needs to grow and this is a cheap method. Lord knows Gary Bettman would like this as he is just about as cheap as Jeremy Jacobs oh wait, no one is that cheap. Sorry Gary that was a low blow.

8. Get the 4th referee off the ice: There is no need to have 4 extra skaters on the ice. Have you seen how many times the refs are in the way of the game lately? Pucks are getting stuck in their skates as well as being ricocheted off their bodies. Two linesman and 1 referee can easily accomplish officiating today’s game.

9. Limit the amount of Europeans in the league: Look at Soccer in North America. Every kid plays the game growing up but the fan base for MLS blows. You know why? It’s not our sport and the best known players are almost entirely foreign. We can’t relate to some kid who grew up in Sweden but we sure as hell can relate to some stud from Moose Jaw, Saskatoon, Minnesota or even Southie. These foreign players sure are talented but let’s face it, do you wanna watch PJ Axelson for another 4 years or would you prefer some 6’3 monster from Mississauga tearing things up?

10. Implement Guest Announcing Night: For the local watering holes surrounding the stadiums desperately trying to lure back business, they should offer guest announcer night. Have 2 or 3 patrons sit in front of the flat screen with microphones and announce the game with no restrictions! Can you imagine the Harp during a B’s game with Chris and me at the mike? The place would be buzzing and so would we. Who needs the paid yahoos to tell us what we are watching. I’d rather listen to Joe fan, with a few beers in him, sharing his thoughts for all to hear.

I could go on and on – but I won’t. I want my Million Dollar Babies to be fans of the NHL when they grow up. If things continue as is, this game might not be around for them and that scares me to death. Today’s game is an eye sore for the new viewer the NHL is trying to lure in. I’d love to sit in on a Marketing meeting within the NHL HQ and see exactly what these brain surgeons have in store for us in the coming years. Check that: does the NHL have a Marketing department? I’m fired up for the playoffs, enjoy the games and let’s hope things improve.