Call me Nick Brophy

I have been on what medical professionals might describe as a bit of a bender. I have been neglecting the site, and the 99 at the top of my hill has been reaping the rewards. I have been MEANING to write, if that’s any consolation. Problem is its end of quarter and as such, people at the office are stressed. Every night someone is looking to stop in for one or seven, and they know to stop at my cube first. Anyhow, I am tired, and my liver hurts.

Three things happened while I was (blacked) out. This should bring us up to speed.

1. Brian Burke is my hero. The Ducks, who are an early favorite for my West Coast Team on Center Ice come fall, won the cup. They did so by beating the Senators in every way possible. They beat them physically, mentally, and beat them on the scoreboard. They play a rough and tumble style, and I love it. Through the regular season, they will beat you the same way. This includes fighting. People say fighting is on its way out? Burkey says, well, I’ll have all the guns at the OK Corral then. My point? Well, shortly after they win it all, he signs Travis Moen, and George Parros. Moen was a huge part of the cup win and for those of you that follow the American league, will remember he made his way as a tough guys for a few seasons while a Chicago farm hand. Parros, who didn’t dress in the finals, is a tough guy pure and simple. Plus, he’s got a 70’s porn moustache that rivals no one. Message to the rest of the West, better break glass in case of emergency on your tough guys. This flock of Ducks will not be pushed around.

2. Jeremy Jacobs. When I saw that Mr. Jacobs was being named to the NHL board of directors, I was glad I have been hammered for the better part of two weeks. This move made me think the end was near, and had I been sober, I would have been terrified. Nowhere in the 10 ways to improve the NHL does it say install some cheap, money grubbing a hole that really only thinks about the bottom line to help improve the league. If you weren’t sure about the NHL being the most backward thinking old boy network in all of pro sports, here’s your proof. Our buddies at www.pleasesellthebruins.com must have shit themselves upon hearing this crap. I hope they’re OK! Does anyone else picture Gary Bettman laughing maniacally as David Stern looks on saying, We did it David! We’ve ruined the game forever! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

3. Who did Angelo Esposito sleep with that he shouldn’t have? I haven’t seen something drop that far and fast since Carrie dumped me in High School because she found out I was still banging Susan. I do find it VERY fishy the consensus number 1 a year ago winds up with Sid and the Kids in Pittsburgh though. A little too convenient no?

Free Agency opens Sunday. Why am I excited? The stupid Bruins don’t have any money because of stupid Chara’s stupid contractah crap, I was going to stop drinking today..