OK, listen I got married, went on my honeymoon, and when I got back started my new job. See, I got promoted, and I couldn’t tell anyone. I’ve been busy as hell trying to figure out exactly what it is I am supposed to be doing. I apologize for the delay. I think I got shit under control.or at least as under control as it’s getting.
The Bruins kick off their season tonight, and I will be the only person in New England watching, as the Sox are also playing. I’ve been drinking, so I’ll do semi live updates. Here is my preview of the B’s this year. They are going to suck. I say 15th in the conference, and if they were smart, they’d try to deal Chara to San Jose (15 million below the cap) and start all over. I am excited hey have Shawn Thornton, Jeremy Reich, and the new kid, Milan Lucic in the show. Hopefully they will be able to fight this season, as Disney Dave Lewis apparently had the cuffs on them last year. That’s typical of this organization though, look like a fool, then blame the old regime for failing, all while hiring some old school person to be the new face. Cam Neely, welcome. 35 minutes till puck drops. I’m going to get stinkin shitfaced on the bus.
1ST PERIOD
I love the Bruins new jerseys.
MOL and I are POUNDING Miller Liteand cookies.
I may get a Thornton jersey. I wore 22 for a while. Does that make me a meat slapper?
Did you know Chara lead the Bruins last season in PIM with 100? As an aside, he had 0 fighting majors. He’s the captain. Unacceptable.
Brick just said box.
I might be drunk.
Holy Shit! Chara hit someone!
Who knew Milan Lucic spoke English? Not MOL. Or me.
Sorry. I got distracted by wedding pics sent by Dave. Hilarious doesn’t even cover it.
Man on Man porking. That’s all I will say about Dave’s captions.
Back to hockey. Is this a preseason game? This is as exciting as paint drying.
1-0 Dallas. What the fuck Ward? Any chance you want to pick him up? No? OK fair enough.
Can we get a ruling on the puck over the glass penalty? Serious. Is it too hard to asses 2 minutes for on purpose, and no penalty for not on purpose?
OK, so the first period of the year is in the books. Per usual, the Bruins look terrible, and I am slightly drunk. Sox are up 2-0. I need to pee, and get some brew.
2nd Period
I like NESN’s clock until puck drop. This way I can watch the Indians and Yankees for 3 more minutes. It’s 2007 and we can’t figure out regional coverage?
Indians win. Go to the Sox.
Angels scored at the same time the Indians did. Weird.
Fuck it. Back to hockey.
Suddenly, it’s 3-2 Angels.
Back to hockey. For real this time.
5 count them 5 Bruins just watched Dallas score.
FIGHT!! Good time for it too. Bruins just go down by 2, and the Fridge and Shawn Thornton have a go off the face off.
Thornton’s first fight as a Bruin.pretty uneventful.
Another! Milan Lucic makes his debut against Brad Winchester!! Not bad by the rookie. Some hard punches thrown, and landed by Lucic. Nice balance. Good work. I am impressed.
Quick recap of the game after the fights. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Just texted Killer. He’s at the Sox.
You know, the Bruins lead the game in Shots on Goal, but I really do not think they’ve had any real scoring chances.
Killer’s reply: I’m drunk.
Me too.
FUUUUUUCK. 3-0 Dallas. Did you know the Bruins were 8-24 in 3 plus goal games? That means of the 41 games they lost last year, half of them were by more than 3 goals.
Mike Modano has never had a 100 point season? That is hard to believe.
I missed Andy Brickley.
Hey! It’s the Bruins first too many men on the ice penalty!! It’s finally hockey season!
OOOPS. That’s Dallas too many men. I forgot the Bruins got a new coach.
NICE!!!!!! Bergie!!! Excellent PP by Boston. Right spot there by Bergeron to put the rebound home. Nice goal.
Glen Metropolit sucks by the way.
Nice wrister by Kessel. You know he uses a Kid’s stick? Me neither. I guess he likes the whip, and its hairless ass.
End of 2. The Bruins played very well for 5 minutes. In the new NHL 2 goals is nothing. If you are good. We’ll see what the Bruins do here.
3rd Period
Nice piece on Mike Modano between periods. He went first overall in ’88. The Stars took Link Gaetz after him, to protect Mike Modano. They should have taken a lawyer after Gaetz to protect him.
Marc Savard has a rifle of a shot. He almost killed Marty Turco.
Manny Fernandez sucks. 4-1 Dallas. Trade him. Play Thomas, bring up Rask.
I’m so bored, I might switch to baseball.
If you dig whiskey, or bourbon, try Woodford Reserve.
10:00 minutes left. This is horrible.
I just got invited to Canada to help Dave bury prostitutes. Weird right?
Beloved Penguins got hammered 4-1 tonight.
7 minutes left in this snooze fest.
This seems like a good time to tell everyone, I am now a Manager. Scary right? Like, I have to motivate people now. I’m scared too.
I think I’d like to party with Jack Edwards and Andy Brickley.
Um. Milk in a bag? How are you supposed to look for missing kids eh?
That was awful, and boring with the exception of the 2 fights. Bruins picked up where they left off. Just terrible. See you in Phoenix tomorrow.
I am rubbing my legs together, and trying to make a cricket sound, and drinking Sleeman Clears in cans.
Here’s an idea. Throw the jacket on you wore to my wedding and rub your arms together. That’ll work. Miller Lite #8 going down.
No, you can not have an intent rule on Delay of Game. Canadian newspapers would have to double in size for all the words written about the unfairness of said calls against Canadian teams. Cause that’s the way it works.
Wait for it…. “chirp… chirp… chirp…” it worked! Nice one.
Yes sir! I’m switching to whiskey.
Keep the updates coming. I live in the woods and honestly don’t even have basic Canadian cable right now. By the way – and I say this with the serious face of a man who has just killed an underage Phillipino prostitue – when are you guys coming up? We’ll ski, go to a sens game, ice fish, snowmobile, etc.
What is it with you and hookers? Anyway, I’d love to come up this winter. You tell me when.
Reason to hate the Coyotes; Ulf Sameulsson the biggest cheapshot pussy ever. I saw Ulfie a couple of years ago when he was an Assistant Coach for the Wolf Pack. I should have swept his leg when you told me to Chris.
The meat slapper comment sounds like something else! lol
meat slapper; Male over the age of 16 who wears the jersey of another man. Lack of personal hygeine and teeth are common traits. Meat Slappers can be found at every Arena waiting outside the Players entrance getting the same Autographs every night. The Meatslapper toolbox consits of an endless supply of every players hockey cards, several blue and silver sharpies and a digital camera all carried in a shoulder bag adorned with different meat slapper pins. They also wear these pins on their meat slapper caps and jerseys.
Thanks for sharing with the rest of the world. For any players out there that may be reading this, if a Meat Slapper approaches you with a blue pen, whatever you are signing is going on eBay. On another note, Bruins didn’t look half bad last night eh? Phoenix sucks I realize, but then again, so does Boston. SHould be a tough one Wednesday as the Ducks are having their home opener, and are raising their banner as well. I’d like to see Parros and Thornton have a go.
oh man… if the panthers wanna make the playoffs this year they gotta buckle up… that was a HORRIBLE game yesterday, except for the horton/asham fight which was pretty good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx85NQC8g24
i wonder if i will ever see that arena completely sold out, with no open seats left…
Great go by those boys. Thanks for the link Stefan. Bucci from the Mothership picked Florida to finish 3rd in the East. He’s so dumb he makes me look like a rocket scientist.