Blackhawk Down

How’s it goin, eh? Been a while, boys. But Killer has returned, and I gots something on my mind. At the end of the day, there are just bad human beings among us. No City, Town, State, Country or Planet is devoid of the frigwit. Happy to get much more specific…

Mike Babcock: Milestone Murderer

Let’s start with Mike Babcock. Holy shit, what a World Class Scumbag. Columbus was out of their minds hiring him in July, but boy oh boy did they dodge a bullet. How about the time Babs sat Mike Modano? Modano, who is the top US born goal scorer of all time in the NHL (let that sink in), signed a one year deal with Detroit for the 2010-2011 season which he announced would be his last.

Modano suffered a pretty serious wrist injury and missed a significant portion of that season but was healthy toward the end and was hoping to get into as many games as possible before the playoffs started. He was 1 game shy of playing in his 1,500  regular season game and guess what good old Babs did? He healthy-scratched Mike friggin’ Modano so that he would never achieve that significant milestone!

If Modano had murdered Babs, I am fairly confident a jury would have found him not-guilty. If you want o hear more horror stories about Babs, search up Mike Commodore on YouTube as he has some beauties. 

Milan Lucic: Sleepover Sabotager

Milan Lucic’s NHL career came to an end after a night out of boozing with, I am guessing , the boys and perhaps some puck bunnies on November 18. Lucic stumbled home, got into a disagreement about his phone with his old lady, Brittany, and proceeded to pull her by her hair (which is attached to her head ?) across the room.

She called the cops and off to the hoosegow he went. He has entered the NHL/NHLPA Player Assistance Program (which Chris predicted) and is on an indefinite leave from the Bruins. He made a great living being one of the toughest SOB’s on the ice. Feared by many, loved by many more. But in the end, you just can’t lay your hands on a women, especially the mom of your children.  During a goddamn sleepover.

Corey Perry: The (F)Artful Dodger

This takes me to our final bad human being for this column, Corey Perry. My goodness… where do I start with this shitbag? Perry has been a bad human for his entire hockey career. His vacant face trying to hide the thousands of punches delivered to the back of someone’s head, or the spears to the gut during scrums, or the hits from behind, or whatever other misdeed he could think of. As long as it was behind an official’s back and his opponents weren’t looking, either.

What was even more infuriating about Perry is he never answered for any of it, despite being 6-3 and 206 pounds. Any number of his teammates had to clean up his mess despite being smaller, because Perry could hide behind his stature of top line scorer. Not a great look.  

Corey Perry Released from the Chicago Blackhawks

We all know the situation that transpired recently in Chicago. The Hawks management came out and defiantly said it has nothing to do with a family member of the organization. You believe that? I always say where there is smoke, there is fire. Will we ever know the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god? Doubt it, but I don’t need that level of transperancy in this case.

Because we’ve seen what he’s capable of a few times to date. In his very first shift of the winter classic back on January 1, 2020, while he was a member of the Dallas Stars, Perry decided to blindside Ryan Ellis in the head while he was attempting a shot on net. Bing Bang Boom, game misconduct, 5 game suspension that came with a $40,322.60 fine.

Ellis never saw the ice again that season for Nashville. Was traded to the Flyers and has skated in a grand total of 4 games accumulating 1 goal and 4 assists before lingering injury issues sidelined him. And did you see the cheap shot Perry did on Patrick Laine at the 2016 Worlds? Good news is we will never see him lace up his skates again in the NHL – and for that I am thankful.  

In closing, Chris had a great column the other day about the Panthers / Senators game. Never in my life have I seen every player on the ice receive a 10 minute game misconduct. I just wish the ref had used his inner Oprah and announced the penalties as “You get a Game Misconduct”, “You get a Game Misconduct”.