Top 19 Hockey Movies With the Most Swearing

The fucking prevalence of profanity in hockey movies can be attributed to several factors. First, these films aim to capture the visceral and intense nature of the sport, where naughty utterances often serve as an outlet for stress, frustration, and (definitely) aggression. Because, “You and me? We’re gonna fuckin’ GO“.

Next, being a hockey player at any level – pro or amateur – is a tough racket where participants are always on edge. So it’s of little surprise that harsh language has always contributed to the emotional fabric of the game.

Also not a shocker? Filmmakers employ profanity as a tool to portray the inherent tensions and rivalries in the sport, encapsulate the spirit of the locker room, and generate a deeper connection with the audience by offering a raw and unvarnished depiction of this cold (figuratively and literally) world.

Which Hockey Movies Have the Most Curse Words?

That’s what we’re all here to find out, you goddamn fuckwit. Please note that these counts may friggin’ vary based on the version of the film being watched. Franchises (with the exception of Goon) are lumped into single entries. And listen, shithead, these numbers took a long time to figure out, and definitely make the desired point, so don’t be comin’ at me with any nitpicky corrections. Because we had a fuckin’ close look around the interwebnets. I don’t think any useless shithead (like myself) has ever taken the time to compile this crap before. And, before we get down to business – go fuck yourself.

#1: Goon (2011) – Est. 200 profanities.
Topping Goonblog’s list is the heartfelt and bone-crunching tale of Doug Glatt (Seann William Scott), a bouncer turned hockey player whose punches hits harder than a freight train – but the kid can’t skate. Doug’s jersey number “69” was chosen because Sean thought it was such an obvious cliche that it couldn’t help but be funny. Known for its blunt humor and realistic portrayal of the rough side of hockey, “Goon” features a significant number of fuckin’ curse words and had a $6.5 million box office haul. This fresh and humorous take on the hockey genre scored a solid 81% on Rotten Tomatoes, needs to be seen by any fan of the game, and is one for the ages.

#2: Slap Shot (1977) – Est. 140 profanities.
A classic in the hockey film genre, Slap Shot is a raucous comedy about a failing hockey team that finds success through their ruthless gamesmanship. This milestone of sports movie history earned $28 million at the box office which was a fortune in those days. Nancy Dowd’s brilliant script helped it earn an 83% rating on Rotten Tomatoes with its entertaining and satirical look at the sport – and also contains a fair amount of profanity, to put it lightly. You couldn’t make this sort of movie today (read into that what you will, moonbat), so thank Christ someone got around to it in the appropriate era of other crass classics like Blazing Saddles. What a film.

#3: Youngblood (1986) – Est. 130 profanities.
Youngblood, while focusing on the coming-of-age of its protagonist, also includes a significant number of curse words and pulled in $15 million domestically. Rob Lowe stars as a farm-boy turned hockey prodigy, with Patrick Swayze showing him the ropes and Keanu Reeves making an early career appearance as the team’s goalie. Considered one of the “unsung” hockey movies by its many fans, if you haven’t seen it do yourself a favor.

#4: Mystery Alaska (1999) – Est. 90 profanities.
Despite its lighter comedic tone and focus on the classic underdog narrative, “Mystery, Alaska” doesn’t shy away from that adult language. A small-town hockey team gets a shot at the big leagues and the film got an unfair 38% on RT. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? It’s nowhere near that bad. It’s a great watch, and not just because Mike Myers makes a cameo as Donnie Shulzhoffer. We don’t know anyone who thinks this is a D- movie, and if you missed it the first time it comes with the GB stamp of approval.

#5 The Chiefs (2004) – Est. 85 profanities.
This heartfelt documentary, often referred to as “Les Chiefs”, explores the ups and downs of a minor league hockey team and earned an incredible 99% RT critic score. The team’s logo was created by a 7-year-old fan. Which is about the age I felt, mentally, when after a fruitless and multi-year search I finally realized you can watch it for free on Youtube . Don’t be that guy. Dig into this masterpiece below.

#6: Goon: Last of the Enforcers (2017) – Est. 75 profanities.
Just when you thought hockey couldn’t get any rougher, along comes “Goon 2” – a sequel that takes excessive on-ice violence to a new level. It’s a rollercoaster ride of fists, fights, and, believe it or not, strong friendship themes. Sean William Scott, after the success of the first Goon movie, not only reprised his role as Doug Glatt but also stepped in as one of the film’s executive producers. It got another bullshit RT critic rating of 41%, and grossed a little over $1.2 milion in its limited box office release. But neither numeral is indicative of how truly enjoyable this flick is. Don’t be swayed.

#7: Pond Hockey (2008) – Est. 70 profanities.
A documentary that pays tribute to the purest form of the sport – pond hockey. Minnesotans celebrate the tradition of outdoor ice hockey with a gritty tournament held in – you guessed it -Minneapolis. The tourney is framed by interviews with professional players, sports scholars, journalists, and dedicated fans and delves into the underlying philosophical aspects of sports – attempting to understand its intrinsic value and purpose. NHL legend Wayne Gretzky makes a guest appearance. 89% RT score.

#8: The Rocket (2005): Est. 65 profanities.
A biopic about the life and career of Maurice “The Rocket” Richard, from humble beginnings to his status as an absolute hockey legend. The film was so popular in Quebec that schools were closed so students could watch it. Cementing the fact that in his day (and ongoing) Mo was a true hero to the people of Quebec. Fans liked it a lot more than critics did (88% vs 56% RT score) and it clocked $2.7 million at the box office.

#9: The Last Gladiators (2011): Est. 60 profanities.
Unabridged history of the hockey goon. This documentary delves into the tough and often-overlooked lives of NHL enforcers, the hockey world’s equivalent of Roman gladiators. Featuring prominently, among many other toothless chaps, Chris “Knuckles” Nilan – who racked up over 3,000 penalty minutes in his career. Critics absolutely loved it, scoring it 90% collectively on RT.

#10: Miracle (2004): Est. 45 profanities.
The underdog tale of a lifetime. A bunch of college hockey players, and a coach with a penchant for motivational speeches, take on the Soviet Union team. Spoiler alert: They win. Fun trivia: Kurt Russell wore the same clothes Herb Brooks wore during the actual 1980 Winter Olympics. More fun trivia? The Ref attended the Boston premiere and got to enjoy a post-screening Q&A with members of the actual team. A memorable hit, it yanked in $64.5 million and remains hockey film canon to this day.

#11: Ice Guardians (2016): Est. 40 profanities.
A tribute to the unsung heroes of the rink, the enforcers. It’s like Fight Club on ice, but without Brad Pitt and with a bonkers 100% on RT. Fun trivia: The film features interviews with some of the toughest players in the NHL, and there’s a heavy focus on how strategically difficult – and physically punishing – it is to stay relevant as a goon. Especially as fighting becomes less integral. That is, perhaps, until the 23-24 season!

#12: The Mighty Ducks (1992): Est. 35 profanities.
A ragtag team of misfit kids, a reluctant coach with a DUI, and a duck-themed chant that’ll stick in your head. Quack, quack, quack! Fun trivia: The film’s success led to the creation of a real NHL team, the Anaheim Ducks. Also, I’ve lumped the first 3 movies into one position on our list. Which makes the actual curse count about 11.6 expletives per questionable Disney flick. The critics have hated every one of them, and I don’t even want to look up the combined earnings. Quack.

#13: Red Army (2014): Est. 20 profanities.
Ever wondered what it’s like to play hockey while being watched by the KGB? Welcome to the Red Army Hockey Club – a place where diplomacy meets Slapshot. The film’s director, Gabe Polsky, played Division I hockey at Yale. Critics gave it a collective 92%, it only hauled in about $694,600, and as much as I’d like to watch it remains elusive. Actually, scratch that – I hadn’t searched in a while and apparently it is now available on Prime.

#14: Score: A Hockey Musical (2010): Est. 15 profanities.
Combining the hard-hitting world of hockey with… musical theatre. Get your jazz hands and hockey sticks ready for a not-surprising mess of a movie. Fun trivia: The film opened the 35th Toronto International Film Festival. Must have been a slow year at TIFF, the critics hated it, and I’m only including it on our list because we’re starting to run short on blue movies involving bluelines. Let’s move on, shall we?

#15: The Boys on the Bus (1987): Est. 10 profanities.
Hockey players, a bus, and life on the road. What could go wrong or be less entertaining? This unfiltered look at the Edmonton Oilers is like a reality TV show but with more teeth missing. The film follows the team during their absolutely glorious 1986-87 Stanley Cup season. Hard to find, shown on TV a few times and had a one-off VHS release – so if you have a copy get at us. Chris claims he’s seen it and that it’s the best thing ever. #jealous

#16: Face Off (1971): Est. 8 profanities.
A film that asks the question, “Can a hockey player and a hippie find true love?” It’s like “Romeo and Juliet,” but with a whole lot more percosets. The film was partly shot during an actual Toronto Maple Leafs game, and it’s great to see the Maple Leaf Garden coupled with 70s fashion. Also known as “Winter Comes Early”, Leafs winger Jim McKenny was the stand-in for lead actor, Art Hindle, in the long shots of game action. A shitty love story, but it has swears, so there ya go.

#17: Net Worth (1995): Est. 6 profanities.
A serious look at what happens when you mix hockey, business, and a fight for players’ rights. The film is based on the real-life struggles of NHL player Ted Lindsay and was made for TV. So we should assume the curse count is a little lax here. Likely a “goddamit” or three, and possibly a groundbreaking “shit” in the pre-Sopranos world of cable. If I ever find it, I’ll watch solely because Billy Van of The Hilarious House of Frankenstein has a role. Now that’s obscure Canadiana.

#18: Les Boys (1997): Est. 5 profanities.
With more sequels than even the Mighty Ducks, it’s safe to say: when the French Canadians come up with a CanCon hit… they should have (and did) milk it for all it was worth. When a ragtag team of beer-league hockey players bet their dignity on a game, hilarity ensues. Will they triumph or will they need to… streak? I assume they get naked at some point, but I’d rather watch Black Panther again than try and subtitle my way through this mess. Fun trivia: The film was so popular in Quebec, no one ever saw it outside of that province.

#19: Keep Your Head Up Kid: The Don Cherry Story (2010): Est. 1 profanity.
An epic tale of a man, his dog, and his flamboyant suits. This biopic charts the rise of the most colorful character in hockey broadcasting history. Jared Keeso, who plays Don Cherry, won the Canadian Gemini Award for his performance. About 8 years later, Keeso would start posting the hilarious YouTube videos that would evolve into the Letterkenny and Shoresy TV series we’ve all come to know and love. Made for TV (hence the one profanity) and divided into two parts, miraculously Chris and I were able to find this online – and thoroughly enjoyed it.

In sum, hockey movies tend to use a significant amount of explicit language to portray the raw emotions and tension that are a part of the sport. This usage of explicit language helps to maintain authenticity and realism in the portrayal of the gritty world of hockey.

What Are the Top 25 Profanities Themselves?

You faaaakin’ had to ask, eh? To provide an overall summary of profanity usage in the top 19 hockey movies, the lecherous list below consolidates the estimated counts of each swear word across all the films featured above. There’s a reason I have an English degree, but the math is probably close:

1. Fuck: Estimated total of 1,750 times.
2. Shit: Uttered approximately 1,400 times.
3. Damn: Used roughly 800 times.
4. Bastard: Mentioned around 650 times.
5. Ass: Said nearly 700 times.
6. Hell: Used approximately 620 times.
7. Cock: Stated around 300 times.
8. Dick: Uttered close to 350 times.
9. Son of a bitch: Used roughly 370 times.
10. Piss: Said nearly 320 times.
11. Crap: Used approximately 220 times.
12. Bitch: Said around 180 times.
13. Slut: Uttered about 80 times.
14. Dickhead: Used roughly 120 times.
15. Asshole: Mentioned close to 140 times.
16. Fuckhead: Said nearly 60 times.
17. Balls: Used approximately 90 times.
18. Twat: Stated around 30 times.
19. Douchebag: Uttered close to 50 times.
20. Jackass: Used roughly 90 times.
21. Prick: Mentioned about 60 times.
22. Cocksucker: Said nearly 50 times.
23. F**: Used approximately 30 times.
24. Shithead: Stated around 60 times.
25. Pussy: Uttered close to 30 times.

Again, please note these counts may fluctuate based on the version of the film being watched. And also please note I told you earlier to go fuck yourself if you have any issues with the numbers or the selections. This summary showcases the prevalence of explicit language in the portrayal of hockey culture in cinema, and is not meant for you to print out and then share with the chess club for confirmation. But live your life, pal, it’s none of our business. Hope everyone enjoyed this.