A Time Capsule Full of Goons.

During the off-season it’s tough to sit down and find something to write about every day. Come to think of it, that’s a challenge for us even in the middle of the schedule – so now we’re really fucked. I found a prehistoric (1993) University of Chicago student goon site that I’m shocked is still live. With Domi’s recent retirement, and the tough-guy’s future threatened by new hockey rules, I thought the list would present a nostalgic look back at the state of thuggery in the NHL 13 years ago. How sweet it was:

1. Bob Probert– LW, Detroit Red Wings. “Probert, Probert, what a man; We see him, it’s slam-bam. Let’s go.” -D. Cherry Amassing 292 penalty minutes over the course of 80 games last year, Probert took on all challengers and usually stood tall at the end.

2. Marty McSorley– D, Pittsburgh Penguins. Although Probert is the better fighter, Marty has protected the biggest names in hockey (Wayne Gretzky last year, and Mario Lemieux this year) and led the league in penalty minutes last year with 399.

3. Tie (The Albanian Aggressor) Domi– RW, Winnipeg Jets. While his primary job is to protect teammate Teemu Selanne (Tay-MOO SEH-lahn-nay) from cheap shot artists, Domi finds time to play with his fellow goons, including a legendary bout with Probert last year (won by Probert needless to say), score 15 points, and rack up 344 penalty minutes in a mere 61 games.

4. Gino Odjick– LW, Vancouver Canucks. Pavel Bure doesn¹t need to worry about getting abused as long the 6¹3², 220-pound Odjick is around. Odjick had 370 penalty minutes in 75 games last season, and managed to up his offensive output to 17 points.

5. Stu Grimson– LW, Anaheim Mighty Ducks. Those opponents who sail into the pond this year and are tempted to make fowl comments about the Ducks, will think twice after Stu welcomes them with a brutal cross-check. While he Å’only¹ tallied 193 penalty minutes in 78 games with the Chicago Blackhawks, Stu made up for it with an intense physical style of play, as well as a fiery temper which helped spark the team.

6. Jim McKenzie– LW, Hartford Whalers. As if frequent references to Bob and Doug McKenzie (beauty eh?) weren¹t enough, Jim is forced to play in one of the greatest pits of North America. This helps explain why Jim had 202 penalty minutes in only 64 games; while few of them were foolish penalties, he is obviously an angry young man.

7. Randy McKay– RW, New Jersey Devils. Randy has one of the better work ethics among the NHL¹s goons and it paid off last year, as he netted 11 goals and was the proud recipient of 206 penalty minutes.

8. Shane Churla– RW, Dallas Stars. It will be interesting to see if the warmer climate and supportive fans of Dallas will soften Shane, who has been used to playing in completely opposite conditions in Minnesota. Since the Stars have only changed cities, not divisions, Mr. Churla will still have to contend with Mr. Probert, and also gets a new rival in the form of one Tie Domi. Look for him to improve upon last year¹s totals of 286 penalty minutes in 73 games.

9. Mike Peluso– LW, New Jersey Devils. The Devils have one of the league¹s most fearsome goon lines, with Peluso (318 PM in 81 games) at left wing and McKay (see number 7) at right wing. Peluso scored 15 goals and dished out 10 assists last year, but these numbers may fall off, since he won¹t get the playing time in New Jersey that he got in Ottawa.

10. Paul Laus– D, Florida Panthers. This is Wango Wango¹s dark horse. Coming from the bowels of hockey (the Cleveland Lumberjacks of the IHL), Paul has yet to play in the NHL but will surely rank among the goon elite. He racked up a whopping 427 penalty minutes in 76 games and 1,495 penalty minutes in his 6 years in the IHL.

So there you have it. Memory lane. How would this list look today, and are these sorts of players and positions truly becoming extinct? As the league heads into year 2 of the new NHL – is it going to get worse for our beloved goon?