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Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

The Hammer

Congratulations, Mr. Judd


in Chicago Blackhawks, Chris, GoonSquad, Off Topic, Philadelphia Flyers, The Hammer

It’s been a very busy week for me since returning from Indianapolis, and the 94th running of the Indianapolis 500. I will spare the gory details, but it’s nice to have a few minutes to sit down and bang this out. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

The word I would use to describe this year’s Indianapolis 500 would be, sweaty. I have been going out there for a decade and a half, and I can’t say I remember a week that was as hot, and muggy as this year’s edition. Every day was like walking through pea soup as the air had a thickness one could feel. I am not sure if it was the heat, but the Hammer put on several heroic displays of beer drinking, and even got Steve in on the act with a couple of Summer Sandy’s. I was teetering at the 19th Hole after our golf outing Thursday and if we didn’t get out of there when we did, I may well have wound up shirtless on the putting green screaming, I’m BACK!, but I managed to resist what looked to be the most refreshing and delicious summer cooler ever!

Thursday evening found us enjoying some steaks, and shrimp cocktail at St. Elmo’s downtown. For the second year in a row, we dined right next to Sam Schmidt. It’s seems the former driver, paralyzed in a racing accident, enjoys the same pre race tradition as us. He again had a huge table and they were eating and drinking like Vikings. Well played.

Last year at the 500, Davis told the most hilarious story about an infield pooping incident. I tried to recreate it here, and in person to anyone that asked me about Indy, but it doesn’t translate. Well, this year, Davis had a hilarious living in a paper thin wall house story that is equally hilarious, but also won’t translate. I will say, hanging in the suite with Dane, Davis, and the rest of the crew was an excellent way to spend Carb Day, and I hope to get an invite back next year. I am still giggling about the story. You really had to be there.

Saturday found the Hammer, Jim and I downtown again to watch the end of the Duke vs. Virginia lacrosse game, and game 1 of the Cup finals. Along the way we saw the Playboy party and some other bars with scantily clad women out front trying to lure us in. Quite lovely, but we were on a mission to watch some hockey and lacrosse. We have sick priorities. I realize this.

Also along the way, we saw at least 3 groups of Blackhawks fans. I was wearing a Bruins shirt, and the Hawks fans were all really cool about it. I got a couple, sorry about your Bruins, and a we’ll get him for you. The guy that wasn’t cool was the idiot Flyers fan we came across. He was the only one rooting for the Flyers in the whole bar, and was typical of most of the Flyers fans I have ever met. Very loud, and obnoxious. He also was barely paying attention to the game. He cheered at the replay of goals, and was talking nonstop shit without any actual knowledge of the game of hockey, or his supposed beloved team. Like I said, it was a typical Flyers fan. I am happy the Hawks won, but I am still pretty sure the Flyers are going to win the whole thing. I hate them.

The main event of the weekend was Sunday, and again, the word you’re looking for is, sweaty. If I may, OMG. It was hot. The Speedway ran out of water, which was problematic, as we as fans ran out most quickly as well. Jim and Hammer did a nice job on the brew though. At least they had liquids. I found the race to be fairly interesting at the start with a kamikaze start by Tomas Schecter leading to the race’s first caution. It wasn’t long after Jack Nicholson got to wave the flag again for the restart that the yellow came out again for another crash. After that, it was a very long stretch of Dario Judd running away from the field. He was bad fast all day, and had the field covered, but near the end, when some cautions came out, it became a fuel mileage race. It got interesting, with some cars having to come in to pit and a huge crash on the last lap bringing out the caution allowing Mr. Judd to become a 2 time winner of the Greatest Spectacle in Sports. The crowd left happy, and I am already looking forward to next year.

With another year of Indianapolis in the books, it is time to turn my attention to the last few weeks of hockey. The series is going back to Chicago tonight, and I missed most of the game Friday because I lost my Versus feed here. From what I have seen, I am more and more convinced the Flyers are going to win this thing. It’s now a best of three series, and their refusal to roll over for anyone is going to be the key to them winning the Stanley Cup. I am sure the stain on my floor will look like Scott Hartnell’s face when I reverse gears after they win it. Tonight is a huge game for both teams, as it sets the stage for one more win, wins it all. Let’s go Blackhawks!

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Memorial Day Mayhem


in 2010 Playoffs, Chicago Blackhawks, Chris, GoonSquad, Philadelphia Flyers, The Hammer, Winter Classic 2010

It’s the Wednesday before Memorial Day, and that can only mean one thing. That’s right, the Hammer and I will be winging our way to Indianapolis for the Greatest Spectacle in Sports in about 8 hours. Hammer has been going so long, I think mechanics were still riding with drivers his rookie year. I am post CART/IRL fallout. Anyway, point being, it’s a long tradition, and I am excited to see Hoodie, eat a giant steak or two, watch for Indiana High School Lacrosse (Go St. Joe’s!) and relax until the cows come home.

I’m sure Saturday night will find us in front of a TV somewhere to catch game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Or, as I like to call it, are you kidding me? The Frigging Flyers are in the finals?! On the bright side, the road team in the Winter Classic has lost in the finals the previous two years (Pittsburgh, Detroit) but on the negative side, it would give the Flyers one more, us against the world style hurdle to climb if they were to win it. This Flyers team never gets away from their game, ad are playing excellent hockey right now. Chicago is quiet a talented group as well, but I don’t think they have played a team with the kind of fight the Flyers have in them this playoff season. As an aside, when I get back, there will be a discussion on this being the weirdest hockey season ever. I digress, I will be openly pulling for the Hawks to break a curse of their own, and lift Lord Stanley’s since 1961. It will not be an easy path, and they better be ready for the fight of their lives.

Please take a minute to reflect on what Memorial Day means, and if you know anyone in uniform, thank them for their service to this country. I have said a lot of stupid stuff in this blog over the last 5 years, and if it weren’t for people protecting my freedoms, I wouldn’t be able to write openly. Maybe I just gave you someone to blame for this mindless crap? Dang soldiers protecting my freedom to be dumb! In all seriousness, thank you to all the men and women around the globe that are serving, or have served this great nation. We here at Goonblog couldn’t be more thankful for your service! Back in a week! Go Blackhawks!

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Goonblog Bringing the Noise


in 2010 Playoffs, Chris, Dave, Goons, GoonSquad, Shawn Thornton, The Hammer, The Ref

As I sit here in the office, in what feels like 95% humidity regarding the storm clouds threatening rain and looking at the Scarlet Tanager in my back yard, I can only think of one thing. Hockey. Granted that can be said of pretty much everything I do, but today as I sit and enjoy my day off, I have hockey and metaphors on the brain.

The lack of physical play from the Flyers on Saturday kind of surprised me, and much like the threatening clouds outside, I think there will be a storm inside the Garden tonight like none of have seen in a while. Forget for a second that most of the Goonblog staff will be on hand for said event, that is a storm of a different kind, and let’s focus on the two teams on the ice for a moment.

This is a series that harkens back to the roots of Old Time Hockey. The orange and black of the Broad Street Bullies, vs. the black and gold of the Big Bad Bruins. There is a lot of bad blood between these two clubs, and I expected more of a physical tilt on Saturday. What we got instead, was an up and down affair in which the Bruins won a thriller in OT from the stick of Marc Savard. An ending that could have easily been a pitch for a new Disney movie about a plucky young group of hockey players that refuses to go down without a fight. It was a great game to be sure, but the feeling was it shouldn’t have gotten that far, and there was just enough of a physical snarl to it to set up a real slugfest in tonight’s pivotal game 2.

Saturday was not totally without a physical element. Mark Recchi, the Recchasaurus as it were, had his helmet knocked off twice. There were plenty of hits, and plenty of dirty looks, I just expected more scrums after the whistle, and maybe even a fight. Perhaps the flow of the game had something to do with it. Tuukka seemed content to stop play whenever he could, and when the game did get going, Philadelphia spent a good deal of the game trying to claw their way back in. Boston on the other hand, did indeed follow a good bit of their blueprint for success, and got in on the fore-check when they could. Like I said, it wasn’t a bad game, or a non physical game, I just expected a bit more snarl.

Tonight should be a horse of a different color to be sure. For starters, the Goonblog Staff is taking a field trip, so it’s gotta at least be a cool spot to be eh? Secondly, I think Philly may feel like they let one slip away on Saturday, both on the scoreboard, and on the penalty sheet. Thirdly, and this could be the most important, I expect the return of Shawn Thornton tonight. With the Marco Sturm injury, that re-opens a spot for Thornton, and it may give the Flyers an incentive to gain a competitive advantage by starting a fight with the seasoned Boston enforcer. It should be a great tilt tonight in Boston. If you are looking for the Goonblog team, just follow the noise. I’m sure we’ll be around there somewhere.

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Back Home Again, From Indiana


in 2009 Playoffs, Carolina Hurricanes, Chicago Blackhawks, Chris, Detroit Red Wings, GoonSquad, Pittsburgh Penguins, The Hammer

Congratulations to the winner of the 93rd Indianapolis 500, not the IRS, but Helio Castroneves! This year’s race featured a one beer race day by The Hammer, the greatest pooping in the infield at the 500 story EVER, one of the wildest crashes I have ever seen, and much more silliness that make Memorial Day in Indianapolis so special every year. I am already looking forward to the 94th running next year. Thanks again Steve. You made a grave error in judgment inviting Hammer in 1988, but if you keep having us, we’ll keep coming!

So in between the poop stories (POW! Out go the lights!) and the mega tenderloin sandwich I got race day, we did what we always do at Indy. We watched hockey. Hands up for who thought I was going to say drink. Anyway, there we are at the end of the Hurricanes loss to the Penguins the other night, when Ryan Closet Tough Guy Bayda sets off a fight late in the game. It all starts with a high elbow and a cross check to the head of the Penguins’ Kris Letang. Bayda received a match penalty, and a $2500.00 fine.

There was a car load of guys next to us on the way into the race on Sunday that may or may not have had a few in them. We were stopped at a light waiting our turn to go, which is kind of the norm when 300,000 people are trying to get to the same spot, at the same time. These nitwits decide to start saying, This is bullshit loud enough so Indy’s finest could hear them at least 30 times. It was pretty funny because they had an accent that made them sound dumb as dirt anyway, and them saying, Man, this is bullshit over and over did not help them in the IQ department. You had to be there, but trust me, they were dumb. So dumb in fact, they got the bright idea to honk at the cop directing traffic! Yes. That dumb. The beep was met with the cop spinning around and giving them a glare that could have burned the whole car up, and he stared them down as he walked over there to make sure they knew he knew they had honked, and were indeed, the dumbest people on earth.

Why am I telling you this? Because I think it may have been Colin Campbell and Gary Bettman in the car. Had to have been right? I mean, how does another player in the playoffs get assessed a MATCH PENALTY FOR A HIT TO THE HEAD, and NOT get suspended? I was teetering on my trust in player safety being a priority for the NHL before, but now, I have no faith in what the league has to say. The league had another chance to send a message the other night, and again with the hit on Marty Havlat (debatable if it was legal. Looked like Kronwall left his feet, and Havlat didn’t have the puck when he was hit, or ever actually have possession of the puck. Having said that, keep your head up) but once again passed on handing out a suspension for a hit to the head because they were too busy sitting in traffic telling Indy Metro PD their traffic directing was less than par. If I am off base on this, please, let me know, but I got to be honest. I am thinking this is bullshit.

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Over, and Out!


in 2009 Playoffs, Chris, GoonSquad, The Hammer

I am over it. I really am. In truth, I was over it before Scott Walker’s shot even hit the back of the net. Am I happy the Bruins are out, squandering their best chance in years to win a Stanley Cup? Not at all, but I’m not over here smashing stuff or anything. Everyone I have encountered has been coming up and saying, Man, I thought you’d still be in bed, or some variation thereof. They are quite surprised when I say it’s just a hockey game.

I really mean it too. Three things would have changed the outcome of Game 7.

1. You can’t go 0-4 at home on the PP in a 7th Game and expect to win.

2. You can’t lose every faceoff in the attacking zone in OT of a 7th Game, and expect to win.

3. If they played better in games 2, 3, 4 they aren’t even in the situation they were in, and I’m debating if I go to Indy right now, or stay home to go to Game 2 tonight.

Alas, none of those things happened, and they lost, and I am over it.

Did someone say Indy? If I may switch gears for a minute. The Hammer is picking me up in about 3 hours, and we are off to Indianapolis for the 93rd running of the Indianapolis 500. It’s my 13th in a row, and I think Hammer has to be over 20 by now. There will be lots of lacrosse, steak, golf, and general good times. This Memorial Day Weekend, please take time to think about the men and women in uniform all over this world, and the sacrifices they make every day, so we can be free. I can’t thank them enough. Have a great week everyone, and Go Blackhawks!

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Hello. I love you. Can I Borrow your Snowmobile?


in Brendan Witt, Chris, Dave, Detroit Red Wings, Goons, GoonSquad, Milan Lucic, New York Islanders, Shane Hnidy, The Hammer, Tim Jackman

Remember when I said I was waiting to get pictures of the Detroit game before I posted on the Thanksgiving weekend at the Garden? Well, you can forget I said anything. The pictures are really shitty, and I deleted them, so you’ll have to go without. Seems to me the new catch phrase is in this economy. As in in this economy we have to learn to live without pictures of a hockey game. See what I did? In this economy has replaced the Big Dig for Bostonians as the excuse du jour. Used to be, why did the Pats lose? Big Dig. Now, in this economy. Get it? I should hope so. Mr. Obama will fix everything thoughfear notDave, I’m moving in.

So, Friday morning I arrived at the Hammer’s mother’s place to find the family in various stages of hungover. Hammer being the leader can best be described as looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost on a particularly pale day. I mean, to say he was white is a bit like saying we like fights. A gross understatement to be sure. After getting a bit of a visit in, and some coffee down, we decided it was time to head to the Garden for the game. Hammer however, had to hurl first. With the hurling out of the way, we were off. It was me, Hammer, Mrs. Hammer and John David on our way to meet Dave and the lovely Alize at the Grand Canal at 10:30.

The slight problem in our plan The Grand Canal doesn’t open until 11, and Dave is perpetually late. As such, 10:30 at the GC turned into 11:15 at the Fours. Not really a big whoop, as Hammer could only get a few sips into his beer before he had to go for air. I was thinking there was no way he was going to make it. Once Dave and Alize showed up, everyone had another round, and we headed over to the game. Obviously, Hammer had to exit slightly before us and was standing out front jacket in hand, sweating like Patrick Ewing trying to read his contract. I guess he got a little on the Pats jacket.

Once in the game, JD and I headed for the balcony, and the Hungry for Hockey section, while the other 4 headed to the lodge. JD and I enjoyed a couple dogs, some nachos, and a spirited discussion on how much Andy Hilbert looks like Booger from Revenge of the Nerds. Good times indeed.

The game was excellent. It started poorly as the Bruins got down early 1-0. It was a good thing the new uniforms are so nice, because there play was looking ugly early. After kicking off the early morning cobwebs, they got to work and handled the Islanders 7-2. The game featured two decent fights, with Milan Lucic squaring off with Brendan Witt after Dennis Riverboat Gambler Wideman scored in the third. I am a little surprised Lucic didn’t get the Instigator on this. Looks to me like he started it after the whistle, but maybe they let it slide because of the cross check exchange the two were having in front of the net? Either way, I score it a win for Milan.

Bout 2 of the day featured Tim Jackman of the Islanders, and Boston’s Sheriff Shane Hnidy. It started after the play and was right below JD and I. Hnidy gets a very clear early advantage landing a few good right hands, but I feel the rest of the fight was all Tim Jackman. He landed some really hard rights, and cut Hnidy. I score it a win Jackman. Very entertaining fight. Kudos to both men for trying to get the boys going.

After the game ended we agreed to meet back up at the Fours. Apparently every fan in the building, and a couple of people that were not at the game, but at the bar, decided it was the right time to go to the Fours. Holy sardines. Off to the Grand Canal with the lot of us. It was a lot less crowded further down Canal St..hey I just got that. Grand Canal is on Canal StreetI am an idiot. Anyhow, I was impressed with Hammer’s rally. The man was positively a different person. There was color in his face. He could talk without looking like he was going to hurl. It was like witnessing a miracle. The rest of the evening featured a few beers and Dave explaining to the rest of us whilst giving Alize a wedgie, that in Canada giving someone a wedgie meant, Hello, I love you. Can I borrow your snowmobile? Easily the funniest moment of the day, and if it hadn’t of been for Hammer’s remarkable comeback, it would have earned Dave MVP honors. That nod goes to the artist formerly known as Casper. Well played Hammer. You should be proud.

As a footnote to the weekend, I was back in the Garden Saturday evening for the dismantling of the defending Stanley Cup Champion, Detroit Red Wings. George and I were seated in the Sports deck behind the Bruins goal they defend twice. If I may suggest getting your hands on some seats up there? What a good take. The view is really good of the game, plus you get a buffet, as well as a bar right behind you! Excellent times. Plus the Bruins killed Detroit and the guy next to us was a Wings fan. What a baby. He was all bent out of shape, and being a whiner. I am glad they lost. Anyway, hope everyone had a great holiday. MOL had dinner with mother, and it was lovely. Other than that, a little hockey and some relaxing. Excellent times eh?

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Hi, I’m Kevin


in AHL, Chris, Detroit Red Wings, GoonSquad, Jeff Szwez, Kevin Westgarth, Manchester Monarchs, Philadelphia Phantoms, The Hammer

I am waiting on a couple of pictures to be e-mailed to me from last night’s Bruins game against the Red Wings. Once I get those you will get a full review of the weekend’s games at the TD Banknorth Garden. Quick preview: There were wedgies, and snowmobile talk. Plus Hammer booting. Twice. Good times.

Until then, please enjoy this video Tweener sent to me. I must once again thank him for finding gems like this almost everyday and passing it on. What you are about to see is a beauty TKO from Manchester’s Kevin Westgarth on Philadelphia’s Jeff Szwez. As you can see, Szwez is out when Westy tags him hard with the left, but he gets in another hard right for good measure. Kudos to Szwez for getting right back up though. I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving. Stayed tuned for the weekend wrap up, and as always stay goony!

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Back Home Again, From Indiana


in 2008 Playoffs, Chris, Detroit Red Wings, Goons, GoonSquad, Hal Gill, Nomads, Pittsburgh Penguins, The Hammer

I am back in one piece from Indiana, and the 92nd running of the greatest spectacle in racing. Good times were had by all. I actually took pictures this year. If I could figure out how to post them I would, but I really have no clue, so here’s a mental picture. Picture a shit load of people, 33 really fast cars, and some woman in a short pink skirt next to a sign advertising 50 cent beer, and no cover. That’s Indy ‘08 yo.

Some quick notes:
I saw Jim Nabors in the airport on Thursday. He looked embalmed.
Mike and Mike from ESPN radio were leaving St. Elmo’s as we were waiting to be seated. 3 Celebrities in one Indy weekend. Wow.
There are a shitload of Red Wings fans in Indiana.
Boston needs a Bub’s Burger, and a Buffalo Wild Wings STAT.

The weekend was really superb. It was kind of nice to wake up race morning knowing exactly where I was, and not having to worry about if the smell in the room was my booze breath or a transient I had to off because the voices and the booze told me to. I did have 4 beers at the race, but normally I have 4 beers on the way to the race, and another 4 on the 200 yard walk in. Very good times indeed. Plus, I won the pool this year!

Well, on to hockey. The Penguins looked soundly out played in Detroit, but Wednesday looked more like the team we’ve seen all spring. I think it’s headed back to Detroit 2-2, and I like the Penguins in 7. If and when Malkin catches fire, they will be deadly for sure. Wednesday was how you need to play the Wings. Aggressive, and like you have the lead. All night long. I loved the rough stuff the other night, and Hal Gill proved once again why he’s the worst player in the NHL. It’s really going to piss me right off when he gets a ring. Oh, and Goonblog would like to extend our deepest sympathies to Luc Bourdon’s family, friends, and teammates. What a tragedy. He could have been great. Off to Connecticut tomorrow, then back for the game Saturday. The Nomads face off against some team Sunday at 5:45. If I manage to not expire on the ice, catch the full recap here. Go Pens!

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Back Home Again


in Chris, GoonSquad, Off Topic, The Hammer

You goons and goonettes will have to entertain yourselves for a couple of days. I am off to Indianapolis for the 92nd running of the Greatest Spectacle in racing, the Indianapolis 500. Hammer and I get into Indy at 9:15, and then we are off to the track for practice and qualifying. Then at 4, a rare treat, we’ll be hitting the links at Brickyard Crossing. In all the years we’ve been going (12 for me, 20th for Hammer) we’ve never played here. After our round we’ll be heading to St. Elmo’s where Hoodie is buying us both a fat steak. Friday is Carb Day. This is the real party day. Officially it’s the last day of practice before the race. For fans, it’s the real big start to the weekend. There are big bands usually, and lot of beads, and booze. Good times. Saturday it’s Indiana State Lacrosse Championships, NCAA Semi Finals Lacrosse, and perhaps a race party. Sunday is the big day, as the 92nd edition of the race is run. Monday is downtime and a trip to the track to renew for next year, and then I fly home to my loving bride on Tuesday. It’ll be my first one sober ever, and if you have never gone, I highly suggest going. There really is nothing like it. Oh, and while you’re at it, please take a minute this Memorial Day weekend to think of all the people that have given everything they had for us to be free. Have a safe and Happy Memorial Day!

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Alive, and Doing Fine


in Chris, Georges Laraque, Goons, GoonSquad, Hockey Fight Videos, Jeremy Reich, The Hammer

You’ll all be happy to know that The Hammer and I made it to and from the Bruins game in one piece. We took the train in, and brought some Knobb. After a couple of slices at halftime, and a 25 ouncer we headed in for the game. Our seats were incredible, and I really gotta that MOL for the above and beyond birthday present. The game started very poorly for Boston. They got down early and often, as they had no answer for Sid and company. I must tell you. If you have the mean, I implore you to get really good seats to any game in which the Pens are playing. I’m serious. To watch Crosby, Stall, and Malikn do their thing is incredible. Plus, there’s Georges Laraque.

Big Georges came to play last night. In his first three shifts he found himself on the ice with Jeremy Reich, and every time he was near Reich he asked him to go. Reich obviously wanted no part of the Heavyweight Champ, as he turned him down every single time. Finally, Georges had enough. He lined up next to Reich on a face off, and luckily he was facing us, and I was close enough to read his lips. He looked around Reich to Zdeno Chara, and said, Hey, big fella! You wanna go? Big Z shook his head. Laraque says, Yeah? OK let’s do it. As soon as the puck dropped, they squared up for a long time. The building was going crazy waiting for them to start chucking them. I was screaming for Laraque to destroy Chara. Cats and dogs were living together. It was anarchy. So finally, they do get together. I don’t think any punches were even thrown and landed. Chara got the takedown, no points by the way, and the place was booing. Hell, they weren’t even assessed fighting majors. I don’t think that sat well with big 27, because as soon as the 2 minutes were up, the boys got back together. Well, not much changed after 2 minutes. Same thing happened, only this time, Laraque got the takedown. Again. No points. It was pretty disappointing.

I tell you what was not disappointing. Being in the building for Crosby’s Gordie Howe hat trick. He fucking destroyed Ference. That was amazing to watch him stick up for himself like that. I think he really handled himself nicely, and it was definitely the fight of the night. Nice work Sid.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas. Mother broke her ankle the other day so I’ll pretty much be at her beck and call for the next couple of weeks, with extra effort required this weekend. I am excited to see my little guys as well, and spend some QT with MOL. Merry Christmas all. Please be safe, happy, and healthy!

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