GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

Gary Bettman

I got your back Sean.


in Calgary Flames, Chris, Dallas Stars, Deon Phaneuf, Gary Bettman, Goons, GoonSquad, Montreal Canadiens, Philadelphia Flyers, Sean Avery, Tom Kostopoulos
Let me see if I follow this. Last season, Patrice Bergeron was hit from behind by Randy Jones of the Philadelphia Flyers so hard he sustained a concussion a broken nose, and never played another game until this season. Randy Jones’ suspension? 3 Games. This season, Tom Kostopoulos hit Toronto’s Mike Van Ryn from behind giving the man a broken hand, nose, facial lacerations and a concussion. Van Ryn has just started skating again after missing almost a month of action. TK’s suspension? 3 Games. So the other night while in Calgary, Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery made an off color remark about players in the NHL getting his sloppy seconds with regards to dating Elisha Cuthbert. Cuthbert just so happens to date Calgary Defenseman Dion Phaneuf. What is the reaction of the NHL? They suspend Sean Avery for 6 games. Unpaid! I am not defending Sean Avery here. What he said was in poor taste, and showed a lack of good judgment. Having said that, if the NHL was an organization that knew how to market itself, they would have plastered Avery’s comments all over the internet, radio, and television, then immediately starting a marketing campaign for the Stars at Calgary the next night. It would have been a great way for the league to get a casual fan to watch what could have been a very exciting hockey game. The NFL does it all the time by letting players air their trash talk. It gives the opposing team’s locker room bulletin board material, and when it happens, it’s all the press can talk about. Oh, look what so-and-so said about so-and-so. We better watch this matchup this Sunday! Don’t miss it. Instead, the NHL suspends someone for a non violent act off the ice, that really probably only hurt the feelings of Elisha Cuthbert because Mr. Bettman says I wanted it to be clear to the fans that this isn’t something that we tolerate — particularly fans with children who might have to explain to them what this statement was,” Bettman said. We do tolerate violent hits from behind that would be a lot harder to explain to a child if and when someone gets killed on the ice, but we do not tolerate the use of the term sloppy seconds by a known agitator (who, by the way, had never been suspended by the league until today) who was just trying to get a rise out of the opposition? Really? It’s times like this when I am embarrassed to say I am a fan of the NHL.
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Call me Nick Brophy


in Chris, Gary Bettman, GoonSquad
I have been on what medical professionals might describe as a bit of a bender. I have been neglecting the site, and the 99 at the top of my hill has been reaping the rewards. I have been MEANING to write, if that’s any consolation. Problem is its end of quarter and as such, people at the office are stressed. Every night someone is looking to stop in for one or seven, and they know to stop at my cube first. Anyhow, I am tired, and my liver hurts. Three things happened while I was (blacked) out. This should bring us up to speed. 1. Brian Burke is my hero. The Ducks, who are an early favorite for my West Coast Team on Center Ice come fall, won the cup. They did so by beating the Senators in every way possible. They beat them physically, mentally, and beat them on the scoreboard. They play a rough and tumble style, and I love it. Through the regular season, they will beat you the same way. This includes fighting. People say fighting is on its way out? Burkey says, well, I’ll have all the guns at the OK Corral then. My point? Well, shortly after they win it all, he signs Travis Moen, and George Parros. Moen was a huge part of the cup win and for those of you that follow the American league, will remember he made his way as a tough guys for a few seasons while a Chicago farm hand. Parros, who didn’t dress in the finals, is a tough guy pure and simple. Plus, he’s got a 70’s porn moustache that rivals no one. Message to the rest of the West, better break glass in case of emergency on your tough guys. This flock of Ducks will not be pushed around. 2. Jeremy Jacobs. When I saw that Mr. Jacobs was being named to the NHL board of directors, I was glad I have been hammered for the better part of two weeks. This move made me think the end was near, and had I been sober, I would have been terrified. Nowhere in the 10 ways to improve the NHL does it say install some cheap, money grubbing a hole that really only thinks about the bottom line to help improve the league. If you weren’t sure about the NHL being the most backward thinking old boy network in all of pro sports, here’s your proof. Our buddies at www.pleasesellthebruins.com must have shit themselves upon hearing this crap. I hope they’re OK! Does anyone else picture Gary Bettman laughing maniacally as David Stern looks on saying, We did it David! We’ve ruined the game forever! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 3. Who did Angelo Esposito sleep with that he shouldn’t have? I haven’t seen something drop that far and fast since Carrie dumped me in High School because she found out I was still banging Susan. I do find it VERY fishy the consensus number 1 a year ago winds up with Sid and the Kids in Pittsburgh though. A little too convenient no? Free Agency opens Sunday. Why am I excited? The stupid Bruins don’t have any money because of stupid Chara’s stupid contractah crap, I was going to stop drinking today..
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Now What?


in Gary Bettman, Killer
Sorry it’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been busy cleaning up my vomit from watching the Playoffs. So the 2006 / 2007 NHL Season is finally over. What did you think? Glad you asked.I am very and I mean very concerned with the NHL. The league is in shambles and on the brink of falling off the radar screen. Viewership for the Stanley Cup Playoffs was abysmal, the regular season wasn’t much better, fan attendance sucked at most stadiums and the players seem like they don’t even give a rat’s ass. As long as they get paid is there attitude. What does Bettman’s plan for improvement look like? What is the vision going forward? How will the NHL come out of this funk? The answer = no one has a clue including Bettman. Corporate America is a wonderful place to be if you are the CEO of a company and revenue is up. Your pay is off the charts, your stock portfolio is longer than me and Chris’s rap sheets from the local 5-0 and your perks are unlimited. When was the last time Michael Dell paid for a meal in Austin, Texas (Dell’s world HQ)? Never. What about when things go bad? You are shown the door. How long do we as fans have to stand for Bettman running the NHL? The NBA just concluded its season last night, thank god. I despise the NBA almost as much as I despise Ottawa but you gotta hand it to David Stern, the guy has that business humming along. He pushes the star players into the best markets, the brand NBA is thriving not only here in North America but also globally, he has negotiated tremendous TV contracts with the World Wide Leader, ABC & TNT and he rules with an iron fist. Sometimes that can come back to haunt him like the recent suspension of 2 players from Phoenix for leaving the bench in a playoff game. But hey, give the guy his duehe is consistent and very successful. You may not like him but the bottom line is he delivers. Can you say the same about Bettman? No fucking way. The new Commissioner of the NFL has show solid leadership in his first year at the helm. He is expanding the brand globally with games in London and Mexico as well as future games in possibly China. He has also set the tone with off-field issues by players with the recent suspension of a full season for Pacman Jones and 8 games for Tank Johnson. What type of message is he sending? One that reads loud and clear: You are fortunate to play this game, don’t take it for granted because the NFL stands for Not For Long career wise. The NFL will be around a lot longer than Pacman Jones and the rest of those degenerates. MLB is America’s pastime. My old graphic arts teacher Mr. McGuire could be the commissioner and not run it in the ground. The game has too much history and is played during the best weather months of the year. Bud Selig is no rocket scientist but he is leading MLB in the right direction. Back in April, I wrote about the Top 10 ways to save the NHL. Two months have now passed and I can honestly say I don’t think it can be saved. Fans of the NHL, do you feel satisfied with the job performance by Bettman? Do you feel confident in the abilities of Bettman to lead the NHL out of this funk and into prosperity? Like our buddies who created pleasesellthebruins someone else has created firebettman. As I have said in the past, I love hockey. The game has changed over the years and I understand some of those changes are necessary. I just don’t want the game to go away. I need my fix. Enjoy the off-season Goonbloggers and let’s hope things improve.
{ 4 Comments }

State of the NHL


in Gary Bettman
Ever since I asked MOL to marry me, she has pretty much had control of my notebook. Planning this, and looking up that in preparation for our wedding in September. Well, while watching the beloved Bruins get killed again, I challenged her for the notebook. We sized each other up in the living room. She started in hard with some overhand rights. I countered with some quick jabs, as I tried to get my footing. As I got a fist of Jersey, we both got square and really started throwing them. I would say we both threw and landed 15 punches each. I mean, think Peat/Stock part III. Finally we got tired, and she gave me the notebook. I call it a draw. We’ll go again. For those of you reading this in horror. I asked nicely. She gave it to me. Let’s get to the point shall we? The State of the NHL. It looks pretty bleak to me right now. The TV deal is terrible. Case in point. The ratings for this year’s All Star Game were down 76% from ’04. No one knew it was on first of all, and if they did want to watch it, they may or may not get the channel. The new Jerseys next season are going to alienate an already pissed off fan base. I read the Hockey News. Good thing I read it in the shitter, as a lot of it makes me want to poop myself. In fact, I have renamed it the You’ve got to be Shitting me Times. Two issues get a lot of ink in the YGTBSMT. Goals are down almost two goals from last season. Listen, I don’t want to see a 6-5 shootout every night. I like a hard fought game. The boys have figured out how to play in the new rules, and coaches have learned to coach in the new rules. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if there were more up and down hard hitting 2-1 games out there. You know, Old Time Hockey. YGTBSMT says there is a correlation between the drop in attendance, and the 1.6 less goals per game than last year. I don’t see it that way. Look, the honeymoon is over. People came back in droves last year because they missed the game. I think they are staying away in droves this year because the new NHL as it turns out isn’t all that interesting. People would rather have the ability to switch channels during a 7-6 parade to the penalty box new NHL game as opposed to paying a hundo for a decent seat, $25.00 to park, and whatever else to eat and drink. The other issue in the NHL the YGTBSMT is the rise in head shots, and hard checks in open ice. So, let me get this straight. Guys aren’t allowed to hold anyone up coming out of the zone anymore, and there is virtually no hitting along the boards in the No Hitting League. So when guys get a head of steam coming out with their heads down, or looking back for a pass they get creamed by hard hitting defensemen there is an outcry against this sort of behavior? This is a violent game played by violent men correct? What did they think was going to happen when they took the physical slow up style out? Guys getting creamed never learned to play with their heads up. Ask Eric Lindros. He never had to learn to play with his head up because he was always so much bigger than everyone else. The kids playing now have played the North American style for a long time. To change to a more European style with the speed and less stick fouls is a big adjustment to a lot of these guys. I think the big hitters in the league like Dion Phaneuf should be allowed to play their game as much as the next guy. Hey, keep your head up. Something needs to be done about Gary Bettman. This guy is systematically ruining the greatest game on Earth. Look around the NHL, AHL, ECHL and any other hockey league in the world. Who is always the fan favorite? That’s right, the goons, thugs, and enforcers. PJ Stock is a God in Boston, and he hasn’t played here in 4 years for Christ’s sake. I understand the guys that draw the advertising dollars are the skilled players, but by forcing fighting and rough hockey out of the game, he is inadvertently forcing out some of the games most popular players with the people that really count: The Fans. Hockey fans, these are very dark times. Hopefully we look on these times as a bump in the road on hockey’s return to a once very proud game, and not the beginning of the end of a game appeared destined for obliteration.
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