GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

Phoenix Coyotes

Gary Bettman’s Arizona Nudes


in AJ Greer, Phoenix Coyotes, Wayne Simmonds

For those of you that may be contributing to the recent report showing NHL viewership is down 22% this season, the Boston Bruins are having a heck of a good year. They cruise into the All-Star break sitting atop the NHL with a record of 39-7-5 for a total of 83 points. That’s a 7-point advantage on the closest team overall, and they’re 13 points up on the Toronto Maple Leafs. The Leafs are the closest team in their division, and the Bruins had their way with them last night winning 5-2 in Toronto to get the break started in style. I have four thoughts on Boston after last night’s tilt.

  1. They have a lot of character guys. Case in point. AJ Greer. He scores the eventual game winner last night and on the ensuing faceoff he gets challenged by Toronto’s Wayne Simmonds. Listen, I’m a fan of guys that do what Simmonds does today, and what he’s been doing over his career. At this point, Simmonds is in Toronto to do basically one thing, and that is drop the gloves.

    As Mike Rupp once yelled at Jody Shelley, “You’re irrelevant out here!” which by the way is the meanest thing I have ever heard someone yell on the ice, that is how Wayne Simmonds is perceived. He’s been waived at least twice this season and has managed 1 assist and 34 PIM in 13 games this year. All this to say, his job is to go out and ask someone to fight when his team just went down 2 goals.
  2. The guy that scored the goal is the one that gets challenged? Honestly? Is it me? Anyway, Greer being a character guy and wanting to oblige the willing Simmonds, he says “yes”. Really bad idea. Simmonds gave him a hard right that buckled Greer and eventually got the concussion spotters involved. Simmonds did his job, and it worked. The ice definitely tilted in Toronto’s favor after the decided victory. And that’s why we have the fights.
  3. AJ Greer didn’t have to fight Wayne Simmonds. He just scored, and they were rolling. When a guy with the kind of grit and determination Greer has just to in the Show get challenged, they answer the bell. This Bruins team is littered with guys that would have done the same thing.
  4. Linus Ullmark is really good. Remember last season when it appeared that Jeremy Swayman was going to be the goalie of the future and they wasted 5 million on Ullmark? I mean, right up until the whole Tuukka fiasco? I’m not saying Swayman isn’t the future, but I am saying Linus Ullmark looks worth every friggin’ penny in his bank account right now.

    After the fight the Leafs regained some momentum. They were peppering Ullmark, and he had an answer for everything. What I like about his game is he’s compact. He’s looks like Pete Peeters to me. Really big, and square to the shooter. He doesn’t waste movement or slide around like an asshole like Rask loved to do. I hope they keep Goalie Bob away from Ullmark, because he’ll kill his game.

It would have been nice to go into the all-star break with 40 wins. I know I’m being picky, but, I would have loved to see that nice even number. I think back on the first half, and really the only game that bothers me is the regulation loss in Arizona. How the NHL is allowing teams to play in that barn is laughable.

Dirty Gary
Gary Bettman has nudes of someone in legislation in Arizona. He must. The Coyotes are playing in a top-notch division 1 hockey facility. I mean, it’s practically a pro set up….on the home side. The visitors are dressing in what appears to be Concord Youth Ice Association’s home dressing room. Guys, you remember. The “big” dressing room under the stairs in Rink 2? It’s embarrassing.

“Whaddaya think, about this long?”

The dressing rooms in Arizona aside, the Bruins left one in the desert. They let a really crappy team hang around, and Jeremy Swayman wasn’t very good. They embarrassed themselves and it was close enough to the beginning of the season when all the nit wits (myself included) came out of the woodwork with the old, oh yeah, this is who them are.

I knew this start wasn’t sustainable. I speak for everyone when I apologize. The Bruins are historically good with a ton of heart. Plenty of room on the bandwagon!

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OMG, A new Gooblog Post!?


in Chris, Goons, GoonSquad, Milan Lucic, Milan Lucic (the dog), New York Islanders, Phoenix Coyotes, St. Louis Blues
I’m back! Like the bad penny you can’t shake, or the burning pee you may have picked up on shore leave in the Dutch West Indies, I am back. For those of you that noticed, and have been wondering where I am thank you for the concern. All is well; I just had a major tech issue. For those of you that didn’t notice, well, just shut up and read. OK, so where have I been you ask? For those of you that don’t know, MOL and I are expecting a little girl in February. A girl is good, because our girl’s name we had picked out was Robert Gordon Orr. Worked out good. Anyway, we cleaned out our old office, and it is now the baby’s room. In the transition from the baby’s room, to the back room, I could not get my PC re set up. Everything I tried failed, and then I went to Prague and Paris. Then I got back from Prague and Paris, and I couldn’t get my PC set up..probably because I thought I was dead. I thought that, because I couldn’t power it on anymore. So, long story short, the cable guy was here Thursday for an unrelated matter, and he must have figured out what was wrong with my PC because I was going to move it this morning to make way for a new PC, and the fucking thing powered right up, connected to the internets, and was all, hey bud. Let’s party! Now as MOL paints a rocking chair in the baby’s room, I am back in the saddle again. Gotta tell, it’s good to be back. First off, Prague and Paris was friggin amazing. Prague was so old and had beautiful people, and architecture everywhere. The food was amazing, and the people were all super nice and spoke English. If you drink beer, go to Prague. They love it over there. Every place we ate at, it was the cheapest beverage on the menu. Oh, and the goulash? Oh my word. It’s like pizza here. Everywhere serves it, but each has a different take on the gravy. Just incredible. The hockey games were pretty cool too. I mean, the first game sucked for the Bruins, but the second was much better. In the interest of fairness to both fan groups, I am glad they split. It would have really sucked if the Bruins lost both games, or if the Coyotes fans that came even farther than Bruins fans saw their team lose two; it would have been a real bummer. The O2 Arena was a nice big clean place, with excellent site lines. One of the better buildings I have been in for a hockey games, and again, the food was pretty darn good too. Did I mention I met Milan Lucic? Oh, I will now. Sunday we had a stroke of luck and sat right behind Mr. and Mrs. Lucic. They were super nice people, and I saw Mrs. Lucic in between periods and asked her if she would sign something for Louis, the 9 year old kid with us that was desperate for an autograph. She said, Mama’s autograph isn’t worth anything. We’ll get Milan to do it. They told us to stay in our seats when the game ended, and they’d take us over to where the players come out to meet him. I also told her we had named our little girl dog after her son because she’s tough and scrappy, and after laughing for a minute she replied, Maybe I will tell Milan you named the dog after him. Probably not that it’s a girl! When the game ended, we waited for Mila to come out, and Mrs. Lucic introduced me and Louis to him. He was very cordial, and thanked us for coming all the way from Boston for the game. I was blown away. I mean, here this kid is, the third star of the game. The last thing he probably wanted to do is meet two total strangers, but he was super nice, and thanked us for coming. No one on earth quite like a hockey player. After taking a picture with us, we got out of his hair so he could get some family time before getting on a plane back to Boston. To say it made Louis’s trip, is the understatement of the year, and it was pretty darn cool for MOL and I as well! The next morning we flew to Paris where we stayed for another couple of days. I was fully prepared to hate Paris because of all the horror stories you hear about the French being rude and whatnot, but I was totally blown away. Everyone was incredibly nice to us, and again, it is such an old and beautiful city, it’s hard not to have a good time. The only drawback wads the timing of our visit coincided with the first day of a national strike in protest of raising of the retirement age. We could get around the city via the Metro, but all the museums and things were closed. Kind of a bummer, but our hotel was at the base of the Eiffel Tower so, with a view like that, it’s hard to complain. Now then, to hockey matters. I have been encouraged by the Bruins start this year. I really like this team, and I think they are going to be superb this year. Around the NHL I have been following the Islanders very closely, and out west, I dig the Blues. Darren Pang is one of the best color guys in the league, and he makes the broadcasts very interesting. Hockey is back, and so is Goonblog!
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Call off the Search. It’s Hockey Week in Acton!


in AHL, Anaheim Ducks, Brad Staubitz, Brodie Dupont, Byron Bitz, Chicago Blackhawks, Chris, Dallas Stars, David Koci, Florida Panthers, Gary Roberts, George Parros, Goons, GoonSquad, Hartford WolfPack, Jared Nightingale, Los Angeles Kings, Lowell Devils, Mark Stewart, Matthew Corrente, Mike Brown, Milan Lucic, Milan Lucic (the dog), MOL, Nashville Predators, New Jersey Devils, Old Time Hockey, Philadelphia Flyers, Phoenix Coyotes, Pierre-Luc LeBlond, Sean Avery, Shawn Thornton, Sheldon Brookbank, St. Louis Blues, Tampa Bay Lightning, Washington Capitals, Worcester Sharks, Zdeno Chara
What would you believe as a plausible answer for where I have been since my last post? 1. On a whirlwind hockey adventure in which I saw parts of 12 games? 2. Starring as Kenickie in a production of Grease on Ice? 3. Drunk in a bar? 4. Jail? 5. Getting drunk in a bar, after being released from Jail? Which one was the least believable? Number 2? Yeah I thought so too. If you guessed number 1, you are absolutely correct. Hockey Week in Acton has become as grand a tradition as Hockey Day in Canada. They usually coincide with each other as luck would have it. My Hockey Week in Acton began last Friday night in Lowell in which I saw kind of a weird fight, and finished up last night at the Hub of Hockey with a real Old Time Hockey type game against the Ducks. Truthfully, it’s still going on as MOL is out, Milan is chewing my shoe, and the Habs are losing 2-0 to the Flyers. For the sake of this post, it ended last night. Friday February 20th: Hartford at Lowell. You would think with Sean Avery in town there would be a buzz in the building eh? I guess you’d actually need people in the building for that. Avery behaved himself, and only took a 2 minute penalty for something. Hooking maybe? Either way, he seemed pretty content (Habs scored, 2-1 Philly. I hate both these teams) to just play some hockey, and ignore some pretty creative signs. My favorite was the one with Rachel Hunter (FUCK 2-2. Good time for a fight) and Elisha Cuthbert on both side, and the words, Sorry Sean, these girls only date NHL players. Pretty darn funny. PL3 did ask him to go once, but he ignored him like he wasn’t even there. Speaking of fights (DAMMIT 3-2 Habs), there was kind of a weird fight in this game. After drilling Hartford’s Brodie Dupont, Lowell’s Matthew Corrente was engaged with Hartford’s Jared Nightingale. The two dropped mitts and were about to square off when Dupont took decided he was going to do his own dirty work and fight his own battles. He dropped his gloves and went right after Corrente. Nightingale just kind of stood there and picked up his gloves as the other guys had at it. Very weird indeed. Not sure how Dupont didn’t get a third man in call, as Nightingale and Corrente were clearly engaged, but whatever. OK little scrap. I like Corrente a lot. He is afraid of no one, and is a good little hockey player to boot. I wouldn’t mind seeing him in the black and gold some day. Hockey Day in Canada. Saturday February 21st. Started with Pittsburgh at Philadelphia, ended with Nashville at St. Louis with stops in LA, Dallas, and Florida. I saw most of the Penguins game, except I missed the fight. The third period of the Dallas game, all of the LA game, all of the Bruins game, and the third period in St. Louis. I missed the fight in Philly due to a lunch break and the fight in the LA game because Milan had to poop. MOL was sick and asleep on the couch, so I parked it and flipped around. It was a superb way to spend a Saturday. I heard a couple of Edwardsisms all around the NHL. Obviously they were all over the Bruins game, but I heard two layers of defense and a few half boards. I am forgetting one. George, help me out here. Sunday February 21st. First period of Pittsburgh at Washington. Worcester at Lowell. Third period of Boston at Tampa Bay. Lowell lost in a game best described as zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and Boston sucked in Tampa. Mark Stuart got beaten so badly coming out of the corner on Tampa’s 4th goal, I’m not sure his jock strap made the trip back to Boston. I just missed Shawn Thornton’s fight with David Koci in between periods, and I saw the replay of Stuart’s tussle with Gary Roberts. Needless to say, after the Bruins trip, I was concerned about the game against Florida Tuesday night. Monday February 22nd. San Jose at Dallas. I could only muster the first period of this one, as MOL was kind enough to pass her cold onto me, and Milan and I could barely keep out eyes open. At the first intermission I asked her if she wanted to go to bed. She barked twice for yes. Then we went to bed, and she decided to bark at shadows in the bedroom for 30 minutes. Not good times. She is cute, but like her daddy, not bright. Tuesday February 24th. Florida at Boston. This one found George and me in the Hub of Hockey and Hungry for Hockey. Like I said, there was great concern heading into this one. Good thing for us, and all the Bruins faithful (by the way, still plenty of room on the bandwagon) at the Garden. We were all hoping for the team we saw in November and dreading seeing the one we saw as of late. Luckily, they gave us the Marty McFly treatment and went back in time to the November club. Just a dominant performance by the boys, featuring a scrappy Nick Kobasew getting into it with Keith Ballard. He is playing like a man that doesn’t want to be dealt. The star of the evening was Byron Bitz. He chipped in 2 goals and had the 17,000 faithful chanting his name for the trick. They tried to give him a chance at it by putting him out on the ice at the end of the game, but it wasn’t to be. Still, Bitzy has played very well, and I expect great things from him in seasons to come. I have been very impressed with him and I hope he kicks the shit out of Huggy Bear tomorrow. Wednesday February 25th. Lowell at Worcester. Yes, I willingly traveled to Worcester to see the Devils. What can I say? I’m sick. After some heavy apps. At Pizzeria Uno’s we settled into the DCU Center for what turned into a pretty interesting tilt. There were no fights on the night despite some serious chatter between PL3 and Worcester’s Brad Staubitz. Both clubs seemed pretty content to just play some hockey, and referee Terry Koharski seemed eager to get into his trusty green cooler of Bud Light as not a lot was called. Thursday February 26th. Anaheim at Boston. George and I were back at the Hub of Hockey, and obviously, Hungry for Hockey. 4 dogs, some cookies and 2 sodas. Not a bad haul. Anyway, the Bruins are back baby! Notice to the rest of the NHL: if attempting to intimidate the Boston Bruins, I might suggest a different strategy. I love the Ducks aggressive strategy, but I love it even more when the Bruins respond. It was a rough and tumble affair the featured 2 fights and one Marc Savard taking matters into his own hands in self defense. Oh, plus a 6-0 bloodletting by the hometown team. It all got started at 8:20 of the second period. After watching Princeton grad, former teammate, and resident tough guy, Yanni, er, George Parros flatten Marc Savard; Shawn Thornton went right over the boards despite it not being his shift to make big George pay for what he’d done. Thorts hopped over, and went right after Parros. They dropped mitts and had at it. Thornton did pretty well trying to get inside on the bigger Parros to take away the drastic reach advantage. It looked like a couple of shots were landed to the license plate on Parros, and Thornton got the takedown. (No points scored, and in MY NHL, would be an extra penalty for Thornton. The crowd loved it however, so I’ll move on.) Kudos to Thornton for doing his job, and reason number 7829 why I enjoy him so much. The fireworks continued at the 14:49 mark. There was a little battle for the puck in front of Anaheim’s goal, when Mike Brown decided to cross check Milan Lucic (not my dog. That would be crazy) and then sucker punch Gino. Naturally, Milan went right after Brown, and pummeled him down to the ice. Normally, I take issue with a fighter continuing to throw punches when the other combatant is down, but when you jump someone like Brownie did, all bets are off. Sheldon Brookbank got the gate for being the third man in whilst trying to remove Lucic from his teammate by force. Then everyone, except the Captain of the Bruins, came in to get in on the action. I will never understand why Chara feels the need to stay on the periphery of such eventsI guess I should stop expecting him to jump in on stuff like that, but in my mind, they should still be trying to separate him and Brookbank. Alas, the dust up was cleared. Gino went to his box in obvious pain, and anger, screaming at Brown the whole way. Brookbank was shown the door, and play resumed. It resumed, but it wasn’t long until Scott Niedermayer and Marc Savard were involved in a little tussle. While standing at the far blueline, Niedermayer took it upon himself to plant 3-4 cross checks on the small of Savvy’s back. Having just about enough of that behavior, Savard decided to do something about it. He engaged Niedermayer and both dropped the gloves. It doesn’t look like either guy threw any punches, or the old fart took Savvy down, landing on him. Both were given roughing minors, and Savard did not return. If I may, NIEDERMAYER! DEAD! I really can’t explain how cross I will be if Savard is out for an extended period of time. If Niedermayer is traded back to New Jersey as per one of the rumors I’ve heard, someone on the Bruins better go after him when they return to town next month. So, there it is. Despite learning all of Kinickie’s songs, and dance moves, I have been on a hockey binge that continues with a very good Flyers game right now, and will continue with the Blackhawks when this one is over. Then to Vancouver for the Tampa Bay matchup at 10. Really, does it get any better than spring hockey?
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Boston, You’ve Been Warned


in AHL, Anaheim Ducks, Barry Melrose, Buffalo Sabres, Carolina Hurricanes, Chicago Blackhawks, Dallas Stars, Derek Boogaard, Florida Panthers, Hal Gill, Los Angeles Kings, Lowell Devils, Lowell Lockmonsters, Minnesota Wild, Montreal Canadiens, New York Islanders, New York Rangers, Philadelphia Flyers, Phoenix Coyotes, Pittsburgh Penguins, Riley Cote, San Jose Sharks, Sean Avery, Shawn Thornton, Tampa Bay Lightning, Tom Rowe, Toronto Maple Leafs, Washington Capitals
MOL, George, and I went to Feng Shui for a very serious throw down, two Mai Tai’s and the division of Bruins tickets for the upcoming season. If you are in the Chelmsford area, I highly suggest stopping in. In fact, here is a quick ranking of my top 3 local Chinese restaurants. 1. Feng Shui. Chelmsford, MA. Try the General Gau’s shrimp, salt and pepper shrimp, and the house rice. Very strong Mai Tai. Nice buffet on weekends 2. Bamboo. Westford, MA. Johnny is the heat! Strong Mai Tai. Excellent shrimp tempura, salt and pepper pork, and lo mein. Excellent buffet as well. 3. Makaha Acton, MA. Excellent Pu Pu. Mai Tai strong enough to run your car on. Excellent Juke Box. If you’re looking for a dark place to get a Pu Pu and get loadedthis is it. No real redeeming qualities other than they let me drink in there when I was 16. In keeping with the Public Service spirit, I thought it appropriate to let you know the games in which I have drawn. Reason being, if you are a faithful Goonblog reader, you might want to stop by and say hi, or if you are a faithful Goonblog reader you know what happens at these games when I go, so you might want to avoid being in the City of Boston all together. Should be a great season, and I am getting more pumped by the day. I can almost hear the roar of the Zamboni, OK, the propane whine, of the Zamboni! I have 9 games on my own. I’ll probably need a date for 8 of them. MOL will go to opening night, and that’s about it for her. Maybe I’ll run a contest. Go to a Bruins game with a guy that is trying to disprove Dean Wormer’s fat, drunk, and stupid theory..that’ll be cool. George has 10 solo games. We were very surprised how easily the schedule was divided. It just kind of fell into place easily. No arguments at all. Sort of the opposite of MOL and me. We will both be in the house for 20 games, and are giving away 2 games that neither one of us can attend. It looks like January is going to be a busy month of hockey for me. Between the Bruins, and the Lowell Devils, I will be at 15 hockey games. That’s a lot of hockey. This is going to be great. Breakdown is below. My solo games in BOLD in case you want to enter my Fat Drunk and Stupid contest. Oct. 20th. Opening night. Penguins. Probably MOL’s only appearance of the season. Come see her in all her glory. Oct. 23rd. Maple Leafs. George wasn’t too happy about this one. He saw every Leafs Bruins tilt last year, and admitted the 10-1 or 10 something loss the Bruins took at the hands of Toronto was the only time he’s ever left a game early. Can’t blame him. I was there too, and I left early. Nov. 1. Stars. Sean Avery is a shit disturber, and I love it. Nov. 6th. Leafs. George couldn’t take it (seeing the Leafs again), so I took one for the team here. Nov. 13th. Canadiens. Now way either one of us was missing the Habs, or Georges Laraque’s debut in the Garden as a Canadien. This one will be electric. Nov. 28th. Islanders. I love the annual day after Thanksgiving game. Kinger and I had a blast two years ago. MOL might actually want to come to this one. Dec. 8th. Lightning. I am interested in seeing Steve Stamkos. Dec. 18th. Maple Leafs. See what I mean? George hates the Leafs. Dec. 20th. Hurricanes. I am happy Tom Rowe has a job in the NHL. There are still a few faces left on this roster from the old Lockmoster days. Jan. 1st. Penguins. MOL and I were going to Chicago, but decided a trip to Florida for a couple of Bruins games was probably a better idea. I can’t think of a better way to ring in the New Year than by watching the Bruins and Penguins slug it out. The last time I went to a game on New Year’s Day was against Philadelphia a few years ago. Dave, MOL and I went, and I assure you. It did not end well. Jan. 3rd. Sabres. Not sure why I agreed to go to this game. I have an unexplained and unnatural hatred of the Buffalo Sabres. Not sure why. Jan. 6th. Wild. Boogieman. That’s the reason I’m here. Jan. 8th. Senators. This is going to be an interesting club this season. Eager to see how they react after all that has happened to them over the last season. Jason Spezza, when he wants to be, is a God. Jan. 10th. Hurricanes. Love the Matinee. Jan. 13th. Canadiens. Hopefully the bad blood is really boiling by now. Jan. 27th. Capitals. If you have never seen Alex Ovechkin live, I highly suggest doing so. You can’t take your eyes off of him. Jan. 31st. Rangers. Original Six matinee. Doesn’t get any better than that. Feb. 10th. Sharks. Joe’s second trip as a Shark. His first one was short lived, but a great performance. If you remember, he got kicked out very early for boarding Hal Gill. Questionable call at best. I just don’t like Gill, so I was cheering wildly. Pretty sure the people in my section didn’t like it. Feb. 24th. Panthers. What else is there to do on a Tuesday in February? Feb. 26th. Ducks. George Parros and his awesome Porn ‘stache in the house. Can’t miss it. Feb. 28th. Capitals. A matinee and the Caps?! I can’t lose! Mar. 3rd. Flyers. Shawn Thornton and Riley Cote. I am looking forward to these guys having a go. Mar. 5th. Coyotes. Probably my most anticipated game of the year. Todd Fedoruk, Brian McGratton, and Daniel Carcillo all on the same club? This could be my Center Ice West Coast team of the season. Mar. 14th. Islanders. Nothing better to do. Mar. 19th. Kings. This should be another interesting team. Revolving door in goal. Some decent talent in Dan Boyle, and Teddy Purcell possibly coming in. Very young on defense. Really could go either way. Mar. 31st. Lightning. Barry Melrose will field a scrappy team. No doubt. Apr. 2nd. Senators. We’ll know by this point if the Senators have put all their troubles behind them. Apr. 4th. Rangers. Original Six matinee. Can’t miss it. Apr. 14th. Canadiens. Great way to end the regular season. So, there it is. I am really looking forward to this year. It should be awesome. I may need a good divorce lawyer after as that is a lot of hockey. I think MOL understands the psychosis by now though. Let’s get it on.
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