GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Time Stands Still


in AHL, Chris, Georges Laraque, Goons, GoonSquad, Hamilton Bulldogs, Jeremy Reich, Milan Lucic, Montreal Canadiens, Pittsburgh Penguins, Ryan Flinn, Shawn Thornton, Zdeno Chara

I’m sitting at my desk today around three, and I’m thinking I need some food. What to do? What to do? I’m trying to not be on the see food diet anymore, so I have a choice of pistachios, apricots, or some grapes. Grapes involve standing up, so that’s right out. Now it’s down to pistachios or apricots, when it hits me. I need a Tsongas Arena burger. As soon as I thought it, I could smell it, and taste it. Visually I could see the ketchup oozing out the side. A quick look to my calendar confirmed it, its mid July. DAMMIT! What makes this fantasy even stranger is that the Paul has the worst rink food ever. Seriously, one thing the Lowell Devils are lacking, other than fans in general, is good food. The burgers are the most edible thing. Taz will attest to this. Think high school hamburger. Kind of grayish, not really hot all the way throughoh man, I’m getting aroused here again. It makes me think of hockey season all over again. Stupid baseball.

Speaking of hockey, I am pumped Montreal signed Georges Laraque, and Ryan Flinn. Man, if ever there was a reason to keep the current schedule format, this is it. When was the last time the Boston/Montreal rivalry featured two legitimate heavyweights? 90’s? Has to be right? This rivalry is more watered down than the cocktails MOL makes me when I’ve had one too many. These two guys will bring some big time toughness to the Habs roster, and I hope Milan Lucic, and Shawn Thornton is ready for them. I would hazard to guess Flinner will be down in Hamilton, but the brass will be glad he’s only a phone call away.

Part of the reason I was watching the Penguins over the last year and a half (OK, a big part) was to watch Georges Laraque. I was at the game this season when he fought Zdeno Chara twice. While both fights sucked (they actually were assessed only 1 fighting majors each for two dust ups. I know. Laughable) it was great to see him ask Jeremy Reich to go, and get turned down no fewer than 5 times. Lucic wanted no part of him either, and come to think of it, neither did Thornton. Maybe seeing the Habs 87 times in the regular season will fan some distaste for each other. Here’s hoping they have a nice 400 PIM game while I eat a crappy Garden dog in my Hungry for Hockey seats eh?

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Stupid Summer


in AHL, 2008 Playoffs, Chicago Wolves, Chris, Detroit Red Wings, Goons, GoonSquad, Gordie Dwyer, Jon Mirasty, Lowell Devils, Milan Lucic, Pittsburgh Penguins, Shawn Thornton, Trevor Gillies, Wilkes/Barre Scranton Penguins

To quote John Winger: And then, depression set in. After Screwy and I are done drying our eyes, and the last team member has retired to the dressing room to drink from Lord Stanley that’s when it’s real. I am stuck with stupid baseball until September. Oh and the Celtics are in the finals, which is cool I guess, but I really can’t stand basketball. My Celtics fan friends all want me to pick the Lakers in six, because I had the Penguins in six, so they like the reverse jinx angle. So, there you go. I’m predicting the Lakers in six. They are playing the Lakers right? This really sucks. I am glad I have the NHL Network because the AHL finals are still going. It looks like Chicago is going to handle Wilkes/Barre easily though, and then it’ll all really be over. MOL is happy. I am not.

Overall, I think this hockey season was a good one. I didn’t’ write enough here, and that will change next season. I took a new job at work in October, and that on top of buying the house, figuring out how to be a husband, and my love of being in a gin mill, killed my productivity here. For next season I promise more running diaries of the games, and I recently bought a microphone, so I am going to try a Podcast. I think I am turning into a nerd. So, like I said, the season wasn’t bad. The beloved Bruins surprised me. Milan Lucic is my favorite player EVAH, and Shawn Thornton really had some great bouts in the second half of the season. YouTube continues to be a favorite spot. I love the Gillies/Mirasty tilts out there. It was nice to see Gordie Dwyer on American soil for a little bit. I am telling you, there aren’t many guys as engaging and friendly as him. I’d like the AHL to pay more because Lowell could sure use a guy that can skate and hit like him. Oh, and the Devils? They suck. Bad. Plus they are boring. They could use a guy like Dwyer to add some personality. So that’s it for 07-08. I’m really into birding these days (no kidding) so I’ve got my feeder to keep me occupied. I need some more, and a good bird book to help me identify what I am looking at. So far at my feeder I have seen a squirrel, and a chipmunk. Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal, and a bunch of brown birds. Oh, and the fattest Blue Jay since Frank Thomas! HI OH! Congratulations to the Red Wings have a great summer all. I wish it was September.

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Over!? Over!?


in 2008 Playoffs, Chris, Detroit Red Wings, GoonSquad, Pittsburgh Penguins

Imagine if you will, you are about to make love to a woman you’ve wanted your whole life. This is a woman so desirable you’ve had to fight off foe after foe to get with. It’s been a long process to be sure. As you’ve been trying to get her into bed, you’ve wined and dined her. Bought her a few drinks, asked her what she likes and dislike, really listened to what she had to say. As this was going on, several other men have tried to come and take this woman away from her, but your hard work, dedication, and persistence has really been paying off. After a few drinks and dinner you drive back to your place, and invite her in. Maybe you put on some soft music, pour yourselves a little night cap. You sit on the couch, and maybe you start with a little kiss. Then it proceeds from there, and you wind up in the bedroom. Remember, this is a woman you’ve wanted your whole life! Holy shit! This is ABOUT TO HAPPEN! Just as you guys get all your clothes off, and the heavy petting ends, and the final hurdle is about to fall, she passes out cold on you. You try to wake her up, but it’s no use. For almost three hours you try, but to no avail. Finally the door swings open, and it’s her husband. Guess what? He’s not exactly pleased with you, and doesn’t really mind doing a little time. They say things go black as the bullet hits the front of your skull. I am wondering if that’s how the Detroit Red Wings and their fans feel right now.

24 seconds. They were 24 seconds away from winning it all. I was so sure they were winning I had cleaned up the table, and had the remote in my hand when Max Talbot scored to tie the game at 3. I could not believe my eyes. Then the first OT came and went, and that was a furious a pace I have ever seen. Someone needs to get Mr. Fleury laid when this is all said and done because he saw more rubber than a Goodyear plant last night. After the second OT, I had to call it quits. It was 12:30, and I am neither from Detroit nor Pittsburgh. Plus, I have a job. I was amazed to see Petr Sykora scored the game winner because he tapped on the glass between the benches where NBC had Pierre Maguire reporting from, and told him he was getting the game winner. Apparently he also told the boys in the room he was getting it as well. Talk about calling your shot eh? Anyway, I like the Penguins to win the Cup. What a confidence boost this will be. I like them coming home for some home cooking, with zero pressure and playing loose. I see a big win for them tomorrow, and then they win the Cup on Detroit’s ice 3-2 in a nail biter. 24 secondsI can’t believe it.

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Nomads? Not Good.


in AHL, 2008 Playoffs, Chicago Wolves, Chris, Detroit Red Wings, GoonSquad, Nomads, Pittsburgh Penguins, Wilkes/Barre Scranton Penguins

After the second game of my illustrious return from lying on the couch quietly watching TV, I feel slightly better. My whole life didn’t flash before my eyes this time out, and I really only thought I was seriously going to puke twice. So, to recap. The first time I thought for sure I was going to die, and wished I had while the puke-o-meter was 4. I didn’t really want to die, or feel like I was going to and the puke-o-meter was a 2. Not bad. As an aside, we got throttled 9-2, and I really suck.

Speaking of sucking, I am pretty sure things are going to be sucking for Penguins Nation in about 27 hours. Last night the Penguins had chance after chance after chance, and just could not beat the high flying Red Wings. I look for a 5-2 Wings victory tomorrow night to clinch the cup.

The news is no better on the farm, as Wilkes-Barre went down 2 love to Chicago in the American League finals this afternoon. These two teams really do not care for each other, and there was even a fight when I was watching. I had to leave for my game, but I am really psyched I talked MOL out of canceling the NHL Network from our cable line up, as they are showing the Calder Cup finals. Get it all in while you can boys, as we are in the final days of the 2007-2008 hockey season. If I still drank, I would.

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Back Home Again, From Indiana


in 2008 Playoffs, Chris, Detroit Red Wings, Goons, GoonSquad, Hal Gill, Nomads, Pittsburgh Penguins, The Hammer

I am back in one piece from Indiana, and the 92nd running of the greatest spectacle in racing. Good times were had by all. I actually took pictures this year. If I could figure out how to post them I would, but I really have no clue, so here’s a mental picture. Picture a shit load of people, 33 really fast cars, and some woman in a short pink skirt next to a sign advertising 50 cent beer, and no cover. That’s Indy ‘08 yo.

Some quick notes:
I saw Jim Nabors in the airport on Thursday. He looked embalmed.
Mike and Mike from ESPN radio were leaving St. Elmo’s as we were waiting to be seated. 3 Celebrities in one Indy weekend. Wow.
There are a shitload of Red Wings fans in Indiana.
Boston needs a Bub’s Burger, and a Buffalo Wild Wings STAT.

The weekend was really superb. It was kind of nice to wake up race morning knowing exactly where I was, and not having to worry about if the smell in the room was my booze breath or a transient I had to off because the voices and the booze told me to. I did have 4 beers at the race, but normally I have 4 beers on the way to the race, and another 4 on the 200 yard walk in. Very good times indeed. Plus, I won the pool this year!

Well, on to hockey. The Penguins looked soundly out played in Detroit, but Wednesday looked more like the team we’ve seen all spring. I think it’s headed back to Detroit 2-2, and I like the Penguins in 7. If and when Malkin catches fire, they will be deadly for sure. Wednesday was how you need to play the Wings. Aggressive, and like you have the lead. All night long. I loved the rough stuff the other night, and Hal Gill proved once again why he’s the worst player in the NHL. It’s really going to piss me right off when he gets a ring. Oh, and Goonblog would like to extend our deepest sympathies to Luc Bourdon’s family, friends, and teammates. What a tragedy. He could have been great. Off to Connecticut tomorrow, then back for the game Saturday. The Nomads face off against some team Sunday at 5:45. If I manage to not expire on the ice, catch the full recap here. Go Pens!

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Go Nomads


in 2008 Playoffs, Chris, Dallas Stars, Detroit Red Wings, GoonSquad, Nomads, Pittsburgh Penguins

I’m sore. And old. And chubby. Your old pal Chris laced em up last night for the first time in three years. It was a mind altering, painful experience. You know it’s a bad sign when you are sweating profusely lacing up your skates. I thought for sure I was going to die at least three times, and I almost puked another four times. It was so bad. My mind would tell me something. But my legs just couldn’t do it. Being booze free is really hurting me right now. If I were still drinking, I could numb the pain in my back with a few Miller Lite’s, but I guess I’ll have to rely on stupid Advil. Anyway, I thank the Nomads for having me, and with the exception of the awful clearing attempt up the middle that lead to a goal, I think I did OK for a fat kid that hadn’t been on ice for a while. MOL was hilarious after. She looked me dead in the eye and said, Hun! You NEVER clear it up the middle! You put it right on the other guys stick. What were you thinking?! She’s worse than Scotty Bowman. I will update you on the Nomads as the season progresses. Final line:

TOI Blocked Shots SOG +/-
10:00 2 2 -3

How bout them Penguins eh? My word did they look good yesterday. I think if they can keep the Mo up, they should be hoisting the Cup com June. Right now they are really firing on all cylinders and look unstoppable on home ice. I’m not sure Detroit can play the type of game they have to play to stop the Pens. Detroit is a finesse puck possession team, and I think you need to play a bit of crash and bang to beat the Penguins. Dallas is a bit better matched, but I don’t see them getting by the Wings. By the way, I said crash and bang. Would that be a good name for a band? Yet I digress, whoever moves on they need to play physical and try to take the Penguins off the puck. Good luck.

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Well Played TKO


in 2008 Playoffs, Chris, Derian Hatcher, Goons, GoonSquad, Old Time Hockey, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Riley Cote, Ryan Malone

TKO a longtime Goonblog reader, and member of the Boston Bruins 2008-2009 bandwagon (he was on at the end of this year but every time he watched they lost, so I made him stop) sent me a text last night during the second stanza of the Penguins game. It was simple, but totally summed up the game. It was one word: Scrappy.

Now, I love the word scrappy. Or, scrap. Or scrapping, as in, Why should she care what anyone thinks about her? She’s just scrapping. Scrappy Doo was a cartoon dog I could have done without, and had I been Uncle Scooby, I’d have kicked his little ass all the way around the world. The little fucker was always getting the gang into trouble. You think the rest of them took Scooby aside, and was all,um, yeah. Scooby? About Scrappy. He can’t roll with us anymore. Scooby Dumb was one thing, but this guy is going to get us killed. Scrappy is a great word, and I think it summed up the Flyers and Penguins game last night.

The Cold War of the Keystone State had been luke warm at best. Riley Cote is absent from the lineup, as is Steve Downie. There was a good Middleweight bout Sunday, but for the most part, it’s been pretty typical playoff hockey. I was sure these two teams were going to try to kill each other, as they, well, want to kill each other. To say there is a natural rivalry between these two is a bit like saying I need a brew after a month plus of not drinking. For those analogy impaired, it’s an understatement.

Philadelphia’s back was against a wall last night in a lose and break out the golf clubs kind of way, and they responded by playing a physical clog the neutral zone game. Pittsburgh did not play as well as they had, and despite a near comeback on the back of Jordan Stall, looked a little over matched. The end of the game was particularly nasty and even featured a good fight between grizzled veteran Derian Hatcher, and scrappy Ryan Malone. Mike Richards tried to stir the pot again with Sidney Crosby at the end of the game, but the two couldn’t really get going. If Philadelphia wants to keep playing hockey this spring, I might suggest inserting Riley Cote for Sunday, as someone has to answer for Richards going after Crosby, and playing a physical game from the start. Pittsburgh on the other hand, needs to forget last night ever happened, come in loose, and get ready for some home cooking in a building that has been very kind to them in this playoff year. They are 9-0 right now, and haven’t lost in 11 games on home ice going back to the regular season. Should be a dandy on Sunday. Let’s hope it’s scrappy!

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Detroit Rock City


in 2008 Playoffs, Chris, Dallas Stars, Detroit Red Wings, GoonSquad, Montreal Canadiens, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins

From my seat in the stand Goons, there is no one stopping the Detroit Red Wings. They dismantled Dallas last night. I don’t know if the Stars are tired from the 4OT game, or if the Detroit Curse is in Marty Turco’s head or what, but they looked out played, hustled, and any other adjective you can think of last night. The Wings look like they have all the answers boys.

Speaking of answers. Does anyone know of any player that has played for all 6 Original Six teams? I was watching Chris Chelios last night, and the question came to me. He started with Montreal, though not in 1917, then Chicago, and now Detroit. I am not sure if anyone has ever done it. If I had to guess? I’d say no.

Tonight’s game should be the beginning of a great series. It is also the last night I am unsupervised, so the cleanup of the Army men has begun. I thought this was a pick em series before, but with Philly being short their best defenseman, Kimmo Timonen, and having an inability to find someone to take his ice time; I like the Penguins more and more. Enjoy the games boys and girls.

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Grapes in America:Not just Napa Valley Anymore


in 2008 Playoffs, Barry Melrose, Chris, Dallas Stars, Detroit Red Wings, Don Cherry, GoonSquad, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins

I have gotten a few e-mails and comments about my health and well being since my last post. Maybe it was the admitting I was playing with Army guys, or the truth coming out about me writing in my Little Bo Peep outfit. Either way, I am alive and doing.well, I’m alive. Word to the wise. Do not go in the basement. Ever. I appreciate all of the concern.

Killer inquired how I was after the 4 OT thriller in Dallas the other night. I am here to say, that was a heck of a hockey game. I did not stay up for the whole thing though. I watched all of regulation, and it had the feel of a game that was going to last forever. Wisely, at the end of regulation I packed it in. I wasn’t all that surprised to see it had gone to 4 extra sessions though. Neither side was giving an inch, and Marty Turco was playing superbly. Congratulations to Dallas. I’m looking forward to watching their series starting Thursday. Something about these guys tells me they are going to give Detroit all they can handle.

Personally, I think both series are going to be dy-no-mite! In the East, the finalists HATE each other, and in the West, both teams are playing some great hockey. What’s even better news is this story I found on ESPN.com today. Not since old Batman and Robin has there been a duo more dynamic than Barry Melrose and Don Cherry. Both wear loud suits, love the same style of game, and like the spotlight. Getting Grapes is huge for the NHL, ESPN, and the game of hockey. I am looking forward to these guys every night on ESPN. So, Once again, I am alive. Don’t go in the basement, and enjoy the hockey this week boys!

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