GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Return of the Goons


in 2013 Playoffs, Chris, Jarome Iginla, Pittsburgh Penguins, Sidney Crosby, Toronto Maple Leafs

I guess we can call this the Goonblog 2013 Stanley Cup Special, or, 2013 Playoffs: How I lost all Respect for Sidney Crosby. Either way, I’m feeling creative, so, here we are. Where have I been you ask? You care? Let’s get up to speed.

Boston Bruins Strong

In 2011 my daughter Caroline was born – and the Bruins went on a magical run to win Lord Stanley’s Cup. Fast forward to the end of 2012, and Victoria is born. Now the Bruins are marching their way back to the coveted Cup once again. Every time I have a child, the Bruins win. Apologies if they don’t win ever again after this year. MOL and I are done. Speaking of MOL, she is doing well. MVP of this house, for sure. Other than those two major life events I have nothing to report. I mean other than the Bruins are winning the 2013 Cup.

In 2011, I was brimming with confidence. Go back and read some of the old posts from that run. I don’t think I ever wavered for a second. I was telling everyone I knew to remain calm, and all was well. When Boston went down 2-0 to Montreal round 1. Remain calm. When Bergeron was concussed against the Flyers, and were up 3-0 in the series, people were nervous for a repeat of the collapse the year before. Remain calm. Who saw Tampa giving the Bruins all they could handle in the Eastern Conference Final? Yeah, me neither. Remain Calm.

Then they made it to the big stage, promptly lost the first two games, and got a major player hurt in game 3. Looked bleak. I still maintain Horton being drilled by Aaron Rome was the Bruins version of Shilling’s bloody sock, or Brady for Bledsoe back in 2001. Either way, remain calm. What happened? They won the whole friggin thing!

The 2013 playoffs, on the other hand, I have not kept the faith as well. I didn’t think Boston was getting out of the first round. I didn’t like the way their season went, especially at the end of the year when they had about 547 chances to win the division – and couldn’t. Maybe all the Marathon tributes were too emotional, or, maybe they really weren’t up for winning the division, I don’t know. I just know I thought they looked crappy, and I was sure Toronto was beating them in 5 games.

Well, we all saw what happened. I was almost right about them in the first round. Game 7 of that series will be known as the greatest comeback in hockey for me. What a gutsy effort to get the elusive one goal at a time. In hockey, there are life lessons all over the joint. Game 7, Round 1. Never give up. I was super impressed, and officially almost back on the Bruins bandwagon.

It wasn’t until game 1 of round 2 that I was officially back driving the bandwagon. It’s not a knock on the rest of the league, and Chicago fans (me being one of them) don’t take it personally when I predict the Bruins to win it all again, it’s just, when the Bruins play the game they’ve been playing, there is no one that can beat them. They are a battle tested group, built for the playoffs. They’ve been here before and they act like it. The timely goal tending of Tuukka Rask, and swarming nature on defense, coupled with their hard fore-check and opportunistic offense combine to make them remarkably deadly.

Having said all that, it made me curious to know why everyone was saying Pittsburgh was going to smoke the Bruins. Let me understand this for a second. The Bruins had just ripped through the early season Stanley Cup darlings, featuring the greatest goaltender to ever put on pads, EVER, and they were heavy underdogs against a team that had all they could handle in the New York Islanders. The Islanders feature such a no name group you’d be hard pressed to find anyone off of said island who could accurately identify more than 4 players. Oh, and don’t forget, their starting goalie got pulled after looking shakier than a meth addict coming down from a 3 day bender. Then they throttled an inexperienced Ottawa team featuring a goalie who decided to let his game go to shit at exactly the wrong time. Meantime, all Boston did since the third period of game 7 against Toronto was surgically take apart opponents like Buffalo Bill – and they are the underdogs? Better put some more lotion in that basket. Or something.

Well, we all say what happened. The Bruins took their game to the Penguins who had absolutely nothing waiting in terms of a response. This is where I lost all respect for Sidney Crosby – and gained a ton more for Jarome Iginla.

Look – I have always been a Crosby fan. I think he is a super hard competitor. While I don’t like his on ice face, I have always been in his corner. That was until he started making more excuses than Jake Elwood at the end of the Blues Brothers for why they weren’t winning. Iginla on the other hand was giving credit where credit was due in saying the Bruins were good and the Penguins needed to be better to win. While we’re here, Bruins fans, can we lay off Iginla please? If I were in his shoes when he had to make that decision, I would have chosen the Penguins too. At the time, they looked every bit the team to beat in the East, whilst the Bruins were doing their, hey, let’s get up 3 and blow it routine on a nightly basis.

So, here we are. The 2013 Finals are upon us. I think this is going to be one for the ages, with the Bruins prevailing in a very hard fought 6 games. I can’t stress enough – that isn’t a commentary on Chicago; it’s a commentary on the Bruins’ game right now. They are playing like world beaters… and this juggernaut will not be denied. Follow along with the action here at Goonblog. Hell, if this goes well, maybe Dave and I will put the pads back on full time.

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Gillies vs. Orr I


in Chris, Colton Orr, Goons, GoonSquad, New York Islanders, Toronto Maple Leafs, Trevor Gillies

It is with the nerves of an expectant father that I am watching the clock today. MOL has been given the television until 5, and she is welcome to stay and watch as the Islanders and Maple Leafs square off. I think if Trevor Gillies does dress today, there is no way he and Colton Orr don’t have a dust up. It would be like leaving a case of Funny Bones, and a stack of fight tapes under my watch. The tapes are getting watched, and you are going to be light a few Chocó and peanut butter treats. The AHL did a nice piece on the Gill-Man here. Hopefully his second NHL tilt goes better than his first, but Orr is the Heavyweight Champ right now, so it could really go either way. I will report what happens here, so stay tuned!

Well, despite Trevor asking twice, there was no fight. Great assist by the Gill Man on the Isle’s first goal. Well done. I will be taping the game Tuesday. Hopefully Hordichuk is game.

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Real Hockey is Back


in Chris, Colton Orr, Goons, GoonSquad, Matt Carkner, Milan Lucic, Toronto Maple Leafs

Congratulations Canada, you barely beat America at the game you invented. No, I kid. I saw that on the site, Texts from Last Night. Go there for hilarity. For hockey hilarity, you stay here. Now then, Canada won gold last Sunday in a game I saw maybe 20 seconds of due to a prior engagement. I will say I enjoyed the tournament, as the hockey was up and down in every game, and who will forget Pavol Demitra hitting the cross bar with about 22 seconds left against Canada Friday night? That goes in, and it easily could have been USA and Slovakia for gold in Vancouver.

Naturally, after a game like the gold medal game, the talk turns to will this help the NHL, or not? From my seat in the stands, I prefer NHL hockey over International play because a lot of the cheap shit that went on in the Olympics has to be answered for. I don’t care how inspirational Saku Koivu’s story is, he’s a dirty little fucker and the stick work he deployed during the Olympics would have been dealt with in the NHL. Same with Alexander Semin’s late hit on Dan Boyle. Shifty Euros get smaller and less brave with their sticks in the NHL, and that’s the game I like. Will the tournament help the NHL? Maybe short term. Long term reality of the situation is this. You are either a hockey fan or you aren’t. One exciting game, gold medal or otherwise, will not turn the tide of a niche sport.

Tonight should feature why I love the NHL so much, as the Battle of Ontario rivalry between Toronto, and Ottawa is on again. When we last left our heroes, Goonblog favorite, Matt Carkner, had been beaten soundly by another Goonblog favorite, Colton Orr. Look for these two to get after it again early in tonight’s contest.

I had the privilege of watching Orr soundly beat Boston’s Milan Lucic in person this week. Everyone in the building, including Don Cherry, was on Milan for giving up on the fight. Well, what we didn’t know was Orr had broken the big Serbians nose early in the fight, and when they got separated Lucic wanted no more part of sticking the already formidable beak back in there. I can’t say I blame him, as it is my opinion Colton Orr is the best in the business right now. Damn I wish he was still in the black and gold! Glad the NHL is back boys!

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Better Luck Next Time


in Chris, Colton Orr, Goons, GoonSquad, Matt Carkner, Toronto Maple Leafs

To say Saturday was an emotional day for the Toronto Maple Leafs could be the understatement of the century. Already reeling from blowing a lead in New Jersey on Friday night, they learned of the tragic death of GM Brian Burke’s son, Brendan on an icy road in Indiana. Goonblog would like to extend our condolences to the Burke family. I can’t imagine what they must be going through, and wish to never find out. With the business of hockey having to go on, the Leafs squared off against an Ottawa team that was flying high after winning 11 games in a row.

After returning from another Bruin loss, this one to Vancouver, I was given the opportunity to watch either Real Housewives of the Jersey Girls Survivor Bachelor or whatever the crap reality show MOL had lined up. No wait. It was Out of Sight, with J. Lo, and George Clooney, my mistake. Anyway, I chose to retire to the office for a game.

I had picked the Leafs and Sens for one reason, and one reason only as my game of the night. Number 28 in white, Colton Orr, and number 39 in red, Mr. Matt Carkner would be renewing some old acquaintances. Kudos to the ACC Centre crowd for staying silent during the entire moment of silence for Brendan Burke. I find nothing more disrespectful than the idiot who takes the opportunity to scream Let’s go Insert Team name here! during the honoring of someone, or something’s memory.

These two have tangled twice before with the record being 1-1, and it didn’t’ take long for the rubber match to get under way. The two tough guys got together along the glass just inside the blue line, and it was on. Both guys got the gloves off, and Orr started in with 4 very hard right hands. Colton isn’t considered one of the toughest in the league for no reason (I say THE toughest) as the 3rd punch stunned Carkner, and the 4th sent him to the ice. I am not 100% sure if he was knocked all the way out, but Matt sure seemed a little uneasy when rising to his feet. I give Carkner all the credit in the world for wanting to skate across to the penalty box, but the training staff and officials had a different idea, and he was lead off to get looked at. It was a clear win for Colton Orr, and the season series is now 2-1 for Orr.

That’s the thing about this game of hockey, and enforcing.hell, even life. You win some, you lose some. Carkner was shown when he came back to his bench. One of his mates tapped his glove as if to say, Hey, good go and Carkner just kind of shrugged. What are you gonna do? Win some lose some Matt, now you owe Orrsie one.

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Unsupervised Thoughts


in Brad Staubitz, Chris, Dallas Stars, Goons, GoonSquad, Jarkko Ruutu, Jody Shelley, Joe Thornton, Jordin Tootoo, Mike Komisarek, Milan Lucic, Montreal Canadiens, Nashville Predators, New York Rangers, Petteri Nokelainen, San Jose Sharks, Shawn Thornton, Steve Ott, Tom Kostopoulos, Toronto Maple Leafs

MOL is in Connecticut visiting our new nephew, leaving me at home by myself to watch the Bruins. Not a bad deal really. I saw the little guy yesterday, and he’s super cute. He does a lot of baby things like sleep, and look around like he’s lost. It’s pretty cool. MOL gets to hang with him tonight, so I have done all my laundry, ate left over Chinese and yelled at Shawn Thornton for having a crappy fight with Toronto’s Jamal Mayers. Like I said, not a bad deal. I’ve been super busy over the last few weeks. I’ll spare you the gory details, but I have made three observations in this young NHL season. They are, in no particular order.

1. I grossly under estimated how good the Bruins are. I mean, when I wrote the piece about the sneaking suspicion I had about their suckatude, I couldn’t have been more off base. Milan Lucic has turned his game around so drastically it’s hard to explain. He’s gone from zero to hero in no time, and I am pretty sure if he ran for Governor of the Commonwealth he’d win in a land slide. Not only is he responsible for a hit that will be played on every jumbotron in every arena in the NHL (well, maybe except for Toronto) for the next 20 years, he’s started scoring and piling up assists at a furious pace. Oh, and don’t forget his first fight of the year last Thursday. In a battle that had Jack Edwards near a stroke, he beat Mike Komisarek like he stole something in a 6-1 thrashing at Boston last Thursday.

On top of Lucic’s improved play, they have the ability to roll four very solid lines. In fact, one could argue the line of Shawn Thornton, Stephan Yelle, and Chuck Kobasew (now that he’s back. The real loser in all of this is Petteri Nokelainen who finds himself the odd man out since Koba’s return) has been the Bruins best and most consistent line. They have been super fun to watch all year, and I have been having the time of my life as a season ticket holder so far.

2. Someone is going to get killed if something isn’t done about the hitting from behind problem. Forget the headshots, I think the biggest disciplinary issue facing the NHL, is guys hitting each other from behind. Tom Kostopoulos’s hit on poor Mike Van Ryan, best known this year as the guy that Milan Lucic almost put into the second row in Boston with his glass shattering hit, and the guy that almost got paralyzed by some asshole with no respect for the other guys on the ice, should have been suspended for at least 5 games. The first thing you are taught when learning how to body check, is don’t hit someone when you can see their numbers. I have heard all the rational that Van Ryan turned at the last minute and the like, but it’s bull shit. Van Ryan fully had his back to Kostopoulos, and the only thing he turns is his head from looking right at the glass, to looking left over his shoulder to see if TK is going to slow up. Guess what? He’s not. Ding Dong. I’ll get it. Oh, and to the announcers out there. All of them. Can we stop defending people that are doing these heinous things on the ice please? Why is there any blame being laid on Mike Van Ryan? Tom Kostopoulos could have pulled up, and shouldn’t have hit him. Sorry or not about it, he had a choice on the ice, and he made the wrong one.

3. This game needs policing. This is NOT your father’s NHL. If it were, they’d still be trying to break up the fight that would have erupted after Tom Kostopoulos hit Mike Van Ryan. There seems to be a lot more punks in the league than ever before. Jarkko Ruutu was running around like a punk earlier tonight against New York, and wouldn’t fight when Aaron Voros tried to fight him. Steve Ott was ringing the bell all over the ice in Boston a few weeks ago, and never would answer the bell. When he slew footed Nokelainen at the end of the first, he should have been held accountable as soon as the second period started, but he never was made to answer the bell. If something isn’t done soon, i.e. removal of the instigator penalty, and guys having more respect for one another on the ice someone is going to get really hurt out there.

So, that’s what I’ve been seeing. Right now I’m watching the third period of the Sharks and Nashville. Jody Shelley just had a nice go with Greg De Vries. Shelley landed a wicked upper cut to win the fight. It was the last of three fights in a row. Nice to see Brad Staubitz get in a dust up with Jordin Tootoo as well. Big Joe Thornton was in the first one. Not much of a fight really. I love the Center Ice Package for this very reason. Anyway, I’d love to hear your opinions on the first quarter of the season so far. Don’t leave me out to dry here goons and goonettes. You know what to do, and as Dave says Stay Gooney!

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Boston, You’ve Been Warned


in AHL, Anaheim Ducks, Barry Melrose, Buffalo Sabres, Carolina Hurricanes, Chicago Blackhawks, Dallas Stars, Derek Boogaard, Florida Panthers, Hal Gill, Los Angeles Kings, Lowell Devils, Lowell Lockmonsters, Minnesota Wild, Montreal Canadiens, New York Islanders, New York Rangers, Philadelphia Flyers, Phoenix Coyotes, Pittsburgh Penguins, Riley Cote, San Jose Sharks, Sean Avery, Shawn Thornton, Tampa Bay Lightning, Tom Rowe, Toronto Maple Leafs, Washington Capitals

MOL, George, and I went to Feng Shui for a very serious throw down, two Mai Tai’s and the division of Bruins tickets for the upcoming season. If you are in the Chelmsford area, I highly suggest stopping in. In fact, here is a quick ranking of my top 3 local Chinese restaurants.

1. Feng Shui. Chelmsford, MA. Try the General Gau’s shrimp, salt and pepper shrimp, and the house rice. Very strong Mai Tai. Nice buffet on weekends
2. Bamboo. Westford, MA. Johnny is the heat! Strong Mai Tai. Excellent shrimp tempura, salt and pepper pork, and lo mein. Excellent buffet as well.
3. Makaha Acton, MA. Excellent Pu Pu. Mai Tai strong enough to run your car on. Excellent Juke Box. If you’re looking for a dark place to get a Pu Pu and get loadedthis is it. No real redeeming qualities other than they let me drink in there when I was 16.

In keeping with the Public Service spirit, I thought it appropriate to let you know the games in which I have drawn. Reason being, if you are a faithful Goonblog reader, you might want to stop by and say hi, or if you are a faithful Goonblog reader you know what happens at these games when I go, so you might want to avoid being in the City of Boston all together. Should be a great season, and I am getting more pumped by the day. I can almost hear the roar of the Zamboni, OK, the propane whine, of the Zamboni!

I have 9 games on my own. I’ll probably need a date for 8 of them. MOL will go to opening night, and that’s about it for her. Maybe I’ll run a contest. Go to a Bruins game with a guy that is trying to disprove Dean Wormer’s fat, drunk, and stupid theory..that’ll be cool.

George has 10 solo games. We were very surprised how easily the schedule was divided. It just kind of fell into place easily. No arguments at all. Sort of the opposite of MOL and me.

We will both be in the house for 20 games, and are giving away 2 games that neither one of us can attend. It looks like January is going to be a busy month of hockey for me. Between the Bruins, and the Lowell Devils, I will be at 15 hockey games. That’s a lot of hockey. This is going to be great. Breakdown is below.

My solo games in BOLD in case you want to enter my Fat Drunk and Stupid contest.

Oct. 20th. Opening night. Penguins. Probably MOL’s only appearance of the season. Come see her in all her glory.

Oct. 23rd. Maple Leafs. George wasn’t too happy about this one. He saw every Leafs Bruins tilt last year, and admitted the 10-1 or 10 something loss the Bruins took at the hands of Toronto was the only time he’s ever left a game early. Can’t blame him. I was there too, and I left early.

Nov. 1. Stars. Sean Avery is a shit disturber, and I love it.

Nov. 6th. Leafs. George couldn’t take it (seeing the Leafs again), so I took one for the team here.

Nov. 13th. Canadiens. Now way either one of us was missing the Habs, or Georges Laraque’s debut in the Garden as a Canadien. This one will be electric.

Nov. 28th. Islanders. I love the annual day after Thanksgiving game. Kinger and I had a blast two years ago. MOL might actually want to come to this one.

Dec. 8th. Lightning. I am interested in seeing Steve Stamkos.

Dec. 18th. Maple Leafs. See what I mean? George hates the Leafs.

Dec. 20th. Hurricanes. I am happy Tom Rowe has a job in the NHL. There are still a few faces left on this roster from the old Lockmoster days.

Jan. 1st. Penguins. MOL and I were going to Chicago, but decided a trip to Florida for a couple of Bruins games was probably a better idea. I can’t think of a better way to ring in the New Year than by watching the Bruins and Penguins slug it out. The last time I went to a game on New Year’s Day was against Philadelphia a few years ago. Dave, MOL and I went, and I assure you. It did not end well.

Jan. 3rd. Sabres. Not sure why I agreed to go to this game. I have an unexplained and unnatural hatred of the Buffalo Sabres. Not sure why.

Jan. 6th. Wild. Boogieman. That’s the reason I’m here.

Jan. 8th. Senators. This is going to be an interesting club this season. Eager to see how they react after all that has happened to them over the last season. Jason Spezza, when he wants to be, is a God.

Jan. 10th. Hurricanes. Love the Matinee.

Jan. 13th. Canadiens. Hopefully the bad blood is really boiling by now.

Jan. 27th. Capitals. If you have never seen Alex Ovechkin live, I highly suggest doing so. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

Jan. 31st. Rangers. Original Six matinee. Doesn’t get any better than that.

Feb. 10th. Sharks. Joe’s second trip as a Shark. His first one was short lived, but a great performance. If you remember, he got kicked out very early for boarding Hal Gill. Questionable call at best. I just don’t like Gill, so I was cheering wildly. Pretty sure the people in my section didn’t like it.

Feb. 24th. Panthers. What else is there to do on a Tuesday in February?

Feb. 26th. Ducks. George Parros and his awesome Porn ‘stache in the house. Can’t miss it.

Feb. 28th. Capitals. A matinee and the Caps?! I can’t lose!

Mar. 3rd. Flyers. Shawn Thornton and Riley Cote. I am looking forward to these guys having a go.

Mar. 5th. Coyotes. Probably my most anticipated game of the year. Todd Fedoruk, Brian McGratton, and Daniel Carcillo all on the same club? This could be my Center Ice West Coast team of the season.

Mar. 14th. Islanders. Nothing better to do.

Mar. 19th. Kings. This should be another interesting team. Revolving door in goal. Some decent talent in Dan Boyle, and Teddy Purcell possibly coming in. Very young on defense. Really could go either way.

Mar. 31st. Lightning. Barry Melrose will field a scrappy team. No doubt.

Apr. 2nd. Senators. We’ll know by this point if the Senators have put all their troubles behind them.

Apr. 4th. Rangers. Original Six matinee. Can’t miss it.

Apr. 14th. Canadiens. Great way to end the regular season.

So, there it is. I am really looking forward to this year. It should be awesome. I may need a good divorce lawyer after as that is a lot of hockey. I think MOL understands the psychosis by now though. Let’s get it on.

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Take Off! To the Great White North!


in Barry Melrose, Cam Janssen, Chicago Blackhawks, Chris, Colorado Avalanche, Detroit Red Wings, Goons, GoonSquad, Montreal Canadiens, New York Islanders, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, St. Louis Blues, Tampa Bay Lightning, Toronto Maple Leafs

Dangerous combo here boys. It’s a thousand. MOL is off at the Germ Factory leaving me unsupervised with at least a dozen of the Workingman’s Brew in the fridge. I just booked my ticket to hang with Dave at the beginning of August (we PROMISE a Podcast) and the NHL schedule came out today. You guys think I’m in a good mood? Hold on.

Walking down hall..

Turning left into kitchen.

Opening fridge..

They call me the Working Manopen, and sip..AHHHHHHHH

Much better! Now then, here are some highlights of the Bruins Schedule. Before that, a tribute to my trip to the Great White North!

October 9th at Colorado. It’s back, its back, thank God it’s back! Boston opens their season on the road, per usual. Stupid circus.

October 15th at Montreal. The Habs open their 100th season in style against their hated rivals. Goosebumps thinking about it.

October 20th vs. Penguins. My first game as a season ticket holder. MOL is my usual date for opening night, so they may not see me in full plumage until..

October 23rd vs. Toronto. Yup. Could be my last game as a season ticket holder.

November 13th vs. Montreal. First game for the Habs in Boston. Hopefully bad blood from October is still fresh.

November 28th vs. Islanders. Love the day after Thanksgiving game. Two years ago Kinger and I went, got wasted, and came home with a Hanson Brothers picture I bought for $150.00. Good times.

December 8th vs. Tampa Bay. I think these guys are going to be scrappy as hell under Barry Melrose. I’m also excited to see Steven Stamkos for the first time.

January 1st. Chicago vs. Detroit. I really want to go to Wrigley for this! If not, I guess I’ll watch on TV before going to the Bruins and Penguins.

January 19th vs. St. Louis. Hopefully Cam Janssen goes nuts.

February 7th vs. Flyers. I hate them.

March 7th vs. Blackhawks. Annual game I take my brother to against my other favorite Original Six Team?! I love it.

April 9th vs. Montreal. Hopefully there is some real bad blood here going into the playoffs!

Does anyone know how to build a time machine? I swear I won’t mess anything up. I won’t kill Hill Valley, I swear. We’re just going ahead a few monthsno big whoop..

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