GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

Old Time Hockey

Dice Who?


in Chris, Colton Orr, Georges Laraque, Goons, GoonSquad, Old Time Hockey

I would be willing to bet a large amount of money, that I am one of about 10, no, maybe 5, people in the Boston area watching Detroit and Calgary right now as opposed to Dice K and the Red Sox face the dreaded Yankme’s. I think it’s indicative of being a hockey fan in general. It’s like I’m in my own little club that no one gets. Besides, I’d rather watch April hockey over April baseball any day of the week. Actually, make that hockey anytime over baseball anytime. OK, I’ll get to the point.

Due to the fact I am getting increasingly chubby (no, no, it’s true) I’ve been reading The Hockey News on the bike a lot more. I used to just read it whilst having a poo, which is good because a lot of times I find The Hockey News to be full of shit, hence the YGTBSMT (You’ve Got to be Shitting me Times) nickname I gave it in a previous post. Now that I read it while exercising as well, I may have to start calling it The Please Stop it Because my heart rate is Already up and I might have a Heart Attack Times. A bit long I realize, but some of the stuff that gets printed really chaps my large ass.

Case in point. I am about two weeks behind because they come like everyday. So I am finishing up the April 10th Playoff Preview Issue. It is a good issue, as most of them are. I like the Team Reports a lot and they have cool features on different players around the league. I also like the Junior, and College Hockey ink that gets written. All in all, I really do enjoy The Hockey News. What I often take issue with, is the Editorial articles that get printed every week. I guess they are written for water cooler fodder as much as relaying an opinion of the writer, but the April 10th Overtime piece written by Mike Brophy is utter crap.

Mr. Brophy, who I usually actually usually enjoy, has a solution for people like me that think fighting has a part in the game of hockey. He says that it’s cool to have fighting in the game, and anyone can engage in a fight without being kicked out provided they have played at least 10 minutes. Brophy even proposes a 3 game grace period in which someone has a chance to goon it up all he wants, but if they fight in the 4th game and haven’t played 10 minutes, they are ejected. It’s an interesting theory and it’s backed up by him saying David Koci has been up with Chicago for 6 games. He has fought 6 times, while playing 3:36 a game. Brophy goes on to say that the evolution of hockey fights has gone from guys like Bobby Orr, and Gordie Howe who could fight as well as play, to guys like Colton Orr, and Georges Laraque who can’t play at all and are only there to fight. He says no one has a problem with Jerome Iginla and Vincent Lecavalier fighting in the playoffs a few years ago because it was spontaneous, and not staged. His issue is with big tough goons that only fight. Brophy further contends there is room for big men that can play and occasionally fight citing Zdeno Chara as a big man that is a great player, and a great fighter. Wait what? Did I just read that?

Not only is Zdeno Chara the most over rated player in the whole of the NHL, he’s a shitty fighter as well. Not only that, he’s a shitty Captain. I have seen Big Z since his days as a Lowell Lockmonster, and he is not a good fighter. He doesn’t do it enough, and when he does, he doesn’t put guys away like he should. Also, there were so many instances this Bruins season when he as the biggest guy on the ice, and the Captain to boot should have dropped his gloves and dealt with someone but opted not to because.well, I don’t know why. It is utterly amazing that he as the Captain of the Boston Bruins did not have a single fighting major all season. We in Boston expect our Captains to be tough, and you Big Z, are more of a Big P.

You see Mr. Brophy; I have no issue with guys that can play fighting. In fact I love it. I saw the Iginla and Lecavalier tilt a few years ago, and it was a dandy. The problem is, I want to look at the bench and know when someone gets wronged, there is a Colton Orr, or a Derek Boogard in the Break Glass In Case Of Emergency section of the bench. I don’t care if they play 1 second, or 60 minutes. I want to know there is someone on the bench that will go after an opposing player’s tough guy when a call up gets a cheap shot to the head in the crease (see Buffalo and Boston this season when this very thing happened, and no one did anything). Or a guy that will ask someone to go, and then wish him Good Luck to try and spark his team. That is the type of hockey I prefer. As an aside to the photo staff of The Hockey News. When trying to make a point about fighting. Don’t show pictures of two tough guys going at it and the DELIGHTED crowd looking on in the background. It kind of kills the point you are trying to make. Just saying is all.

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One Down


in AHL, Chris, GoonSquad, Old Time Hockey

It has been playoff time for a week now, and so far, we have seen some great games. San Jose and Nashville has a real snarl to it, and I have enjoyed the Detroit and Calgary series. In the East I have watched the beloved Penguins go down 3-1 to the Senators, and I have been watching the Rangers series as well. This is the best time of the year to be a hockey fan. The NCAA’s just wrapped up (Heart breaker for BC) the local High School Tourneys are wrapped up, and the NHL and AHL playoffs have begun. Below are 10 observations, ramblings, if you will on the Playoffs so far.

1. San Jose and Nashville really don’t like each other.
This has been the old time hockey special from the start. There have been nasty hits from behind, brawls, and a general chippiness I like. The series represents the old guard, and has been my favorite so far.

2. I don’t like Buffalo.
All fucking Winter I have had to listen to Buffalo fans piss and moan on XM about how they came this close, and they were the better team last year, and if this happened, that would have happened..enough already! Now they are taking the whole playoffs lightly. The Isle may not be good enough to make them pay for it, but I’d love to see them bump off the Sabres and their mouthy fans.

3. I really like Sean Avery
He has been the ultimate playoff player. He’s been a real shit disturber, and has taken Atlanta off their game, while playing a big role in his own team’s success. I would love to see him in the Black and Gold.

4. So far, no one is stopping Detroit.
Those guys are scary good. Calgary has tried to push them around, and it hasn’t worked out. I think the series is going back to the Joe tied because Calgary is a force at home, but they can’t win on the road. Eventually it will be the Flames undoing.

5. Tampa Bay is going to win their series.
The Bolts have forced the Devils to play un Devil like hockey, and it will be their undoing.

6. I have not seen one second of the Ducks series.
Let me clarify. I did see some of it, but I was wasted. Um. Go Ducks?

7. I am a sick man.
I watched a very good deal of the bazillion OT game Dallas and Vancouver played on opening night. I looked up at 1 AM and realized, hey, WTF? I am not from Vancouver, or Dallas. What the hell am I doing? Oh yeah, and I was out of beer.

8. Ding Dong. I’ll get it.
Hit of the playoffs so far? Armstrong on Eaves. Good clean hockey play and I love it.

9. I hate to say it.
I think the Rangers are going to win the East. Goaltending is hot right now, and the team is playing well in front of him. Having Shanny in the room will help.

10. Early favorite.
Wings. I really don’t see anyone stopping them. Calgary has tried to push them around, and they have not let that happen. Goaltending has been good, and they have been scoring a lot of goals. Add that to the experience in the room, and I give you the ’07 Champs, the Detroit Red Wings.

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A Time Capsule Full of Goons.


in Goons, Old Time Hockey, The Ref, Tie Domi

During the off-season it’s tough to sit down and find something to write about every day. Come to think of it, that’s a challenge for us even in the middle of the schedule – so now we’re really fucked. I found a prehistoric (1993) University of Chicago student goon site that I’m shocked is still live. With Domi’s recent retirement, and the tough-guy’s future threatened by new hockey rules, I thought the list would present a nostalgic look back at the state of thuggery in the NHL 13 years ago. How sweet it was:

1. Bob Probert– LW, Detroit Red Wings. “Probert, Probert, what a man; We see him, it’s slam-bam. Let’s go.” -D. Cherry Amassing 292 penalty minutes over the course of 80 games last year, Probert took on all challengers and usually stood tall at the end.

2. Marty McSorley– D, Pittsburgh Penguins. Although Probert is the better fighter, Marty has protected the biggest names in hockey (Wayne Gretzky last year, and Mario Lemieux this year) and led the league in penalty minutes last year with 399.

3. Tie (The Albanian Aggressor) Domi– RW, Winnipeg Jets. While his primary job is to protect teammate Teemu Selanne (Tay-MOO SEH-lahn-nay) from cheap shot artists, Domi finds time to play with his fellow goons, including a legendary bout with Probert last year (won by Probert needless to say), score 15 points, and rack up 344 penalty minutes in a mere 61 games.

4. Gino Odjick– LW, Vancouver Canucks. Pavel Bure doesn¹t need to worry about getting abused as long the 6¹3², 220-pound Odjick is around. Odjick had 370 penalty minutes in 75 games last season, and managed to up his offensive output to 17 points.

5. Stu Grimson– LW, Anaheim Mighty Ducks. Those opponents who sail into the pond this year and are tempted to make fowl comments about the Ducks, will think twice after Stu welcomes them with a brutal cross-check. While he Å’only¹ tallied 193 penalty minutes in 78 games with the Chicago Blackhawks, Stu made up for it with an intense physical style of play, as well as a fiery temper which helped spark the team.

6. Jim McKenzie– LW, Hartford Whalers. As if frequent references to Bob and Doug McKenzie (beauty eh?) weren¹t enough, Jim is forced to play in one of the greatest pits of North America. This helps explain why Jim had 202 penalty minutes in only 64 games; while few of them were foolish penalties, he is obviously an angry young man.

7. Randy McKay– RW, New Jersey Devils. Randy has one of the better work ethics among the NHL¹s goons and it paid off last year, as he netted 11 goals and was the proud recipient of 206 penalty minutes.

8. Shane Churla– RW, Dallas Stars. It will be interesting to see if the warmer climate and supportive fans of Dallas will soften Shane, who has been used to playing in completely opposite conditions in Minnesota. Since the Stars have only changed cities, not divisions, Mr. Churla will still have to contend with Mr. Probert, and also gets a new rival in the form of one Tie Domi. Look for him to improve upon last year¹s totals of 286 penalty minutes in 73 games.

9. Mike Peluso– LW, New Jersey Devils. The Devils have one of the league¹s most fearsome goon lines, with Peluso (318 PM in 81 games) at left wing and McKay (see number 7) at right wing. Peluso scored 15 goals and dished out 10 assists last year, but these numbers may fall off, since he won¹t get the playing time in New Jersey that he got in Ottawa.

10. Paul Laus– D, Florida Panthers. This is Wango Wango¹s dark horse. Coming from the bowels of hockey (the Cleveland Lumberjacks of the IHL), Paul has yet to play in the NHL but will surely rank among the goon elite. He racked up a whopping 427 penalty minutes in 76 games and 1,495 penalty minutes in his 6 years in the IHL.

So there you have it. Memory lane. How would this list look today, and are these sorts of players and positions truly becoming extinct? As the league heads into year 2 of the new NHL – is it going to get worse for our beloved goon?

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Road to the Stanley Crunk.


in Old Time Hockey

What in the name of God’s Sam all Hill that’s green holy Earth is this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. I know Lil John likes to sport impressive custom made goblets to all the heppest Miami clubs, but this is bordering on sacriledge. All I know, is that if someone is going to be drinking Cristal out of Lord Stanley’s cup – it better fucking be Guy LaFleur.

Little John with the Stanley Cup

Hey Little John, do you wish there was more fighting in the new NHL? YEEEEAH! Did you hear Hal Gill is still playing? WHAAAAT? I’d love to know how this photo came about, because all due "respect" – I don’t think that LJ typically hangs out in the sorts of places that the Cup tours through. Unless it was featured as the finale of a recent booty clap contest in Atlanta. Still, stranger things have happened. Alright – no they haven’t.

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All Hail Number 8! Neely gets Inducted


in Old Time Hockey, The Hammer

"Neely went through, not around." – Scott Burnside

It is time that we all pay our respects to one of the greatest hard-nosed hockey players EVAH! Watching Cam on the ice, and never knowing if he was going to score – or just beat the tar out of any tough guy going on the other team – was one of the things that made him great. He wore the Black and Gold with pride.

Cam Neely Gets Miffed!

Some random statistics from BostonBruins.com:

  • Was traded to Boston on his 21st birthday, June 6, 1986. I’ll bet that was a party.
  • Became only the second Bruin in club history to record consecutive 50-goal seasons.
  • A hit taken on his thigh in game six of the 1991 Prince of Wales Conference Championship series in Pittsburgh caused him to develop a condition known as myositis ossificans, where a portion of the muscle in his thigh turned to bone.
  • Set a club record for playoff goals in a year with 16, second in the league in that category (1991).
  • Scored 694 career points, ending with his retirement in 1996.

Please feel free to share your personal memories of Cam’s career. Jeepers – I’m talking like he’s dead or something. Tonight the Hall of Fame, and not the mortuary, gets a very worthy addition.

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Old Days Of Bruce Shoebottom


in Old Time Hockey, The Hammer

May 14th 1988, started like any other day.  The four of us a cooler of Bud and tickets to the Devils game, oh yeah it was game 7.  Anyway typical trip into the GARDEN four of us in a Monte Carlo most likely listening to some Van Halen and drinking beer like it was our job.  Our scenario usually went like this: drive to the parking garage next to the garden, site in the parking garage and have at least 6 or 7 Buds before we make our way over to Sullivan’s Tap, those of you who know the Tap this is before they expanded it, hang out at the Tap and drink 16oz. Knickerbockers for a $1.00 or less.  Why the Tap some may ask, being that I was still 3 days shy of my 20th birthday and I have been going to the Tap uncarded for 2 years, it seemed like the only place to go.  6 or so goons of Knickerbockers and we were ready to head into the game.

Needless to say the electricity in the Old Garden was unmatched only by the hatred of the Devils.  We had seats in the upper level in the corner, great view of all the action.  Just as we entered the garden my bro’ in law realized he left his glasses in the car, being the nice kind hearted people we are, we all said "Tough Shit".  We were heading up to our seats and to get two Busch beers on the way.  Leaving my bro in law to figure it out on his own, he heads to the security guys and ask’s if he can leave the garden so he can get his glasses.  Thinking they were just going to laugh at him one of the gaurds says sure but you have to hold this when you get back to your seat.

He comes back to the seat shortly before they drop the puck with glasses on and a sign that said "DEVILS SUCK".  A small price to pay to see the B’s beat the devils to go the Stanley Cup Finals.

I do miss the days of Cam beating the tar out of people on his way to scoring 50 goals and the fans throwing their shoes on the ice when ever Bruce Shoebottom would drop the gloves. Long live number 8.

Being this is my first post I apologize in advance for the spelling errors and nonsense that I write.  I do have more of these stories that are mostly going to revolve around beer and some sporting event or another and when I dig out my old ticket stubs I will put the pictures up.

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10 Hockey Violence Lowlights


in Dave, GoonSquad, Old Time Hockey

Sometimes when the boys drop the mitts and square off, it’s Shakespearean in scope – a chivalrous enforcer coming to the aid of an abused teammate. But as we all know, sometimes the goonery can be malicious, nasty and unwarranted. CBC Sports recently ranked their 10 most noteable dispicable hockey hits:

  • #1 Retaliatory hit begets All-Star Game
  • #2 Rocket" Richard’s tomahawk & the ensuing riot
  • #3 Wayne Maki fractures Ted Green’s skull
  • #4 Bobby Clarke’s Summit Series chop
  • #5 Maloney crowns Glennie; crown sticks it to Maloney
  • #6 The night the lights went out
  • #7 Hunter ends Turgeon’s playoff run
  • #8 Jeff Kugel runs wild in OHL game
  • #9 Gary Suter ruins Paul Kariya’s Olympics
  • #10 The Marty McSorley trial
  • #11 Todd Bertuzzi’s sucker on Steve Moore. (Thanks to Greg from Puck Update for keeping us honest.)

Here’s hoping nobody gets seriously injured this year, as there are many proponents of a completely fight-free game waiting in the wings to slap down a host of new rules.

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