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Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

Vancouver Canucks

You Stay Classy, Vancouver


in Vancouver Canucks

And I truly mean that. I’m not gloating or otherwise being a dick. I have several friends who live in Vancouver and even a few who work for the Canucks. They’re all beyond embarrassed by the events of last night – and I’m not just talking about the 4-0 loss to the Bruins. Is that horse dead yet? Well beat it again anyway.

"It’s on Facebook and YouTube all over the world. People think this is Vancouver, but it’s not. It’s just a small group of idiots." – Yaletown Resident

Their embarrassment stems rather from the mayhem and destruction which erupted after the game, to the extent that many citizens were encouraged by their employers to take the day off from work and assist in volunteer clean-up crews. The bad apples did some serious damage:

  • There are only a few bad apples, usually. Last night this was not the case: The mayhem we witnessed in the downtown core Wednesday evening and into the early hours of today was not the work of a few bad apples. There are thousands of people who are culpable for what happened – thousands. – Globe and Mail
  • A downtown drugstore was among many business vandalized and looted by a crowd which proved unstoppable: (We had) eight additional security officers on staff and the same resistant glass and secure metal grill barriers that were in place for the 2010 Olympics, but "the sheer number and force of the rioters far exceeded the Georgia/Granville corridor’s barrier capabilities," – Vancouver Sun
  • A Tumblr page has been created to help the VPD identify the worst of last night’s rioters. It’s also screen-shotting and posting Facebook updates where remarkably stupid people (case in point: Brock Anton) are actually bragging about their specific activities. In his defence, when your parents name you Brock you’re pretty much guaranteed to end up being a douche.
    brock-anton-facebook
  • Although still unconfirmed, I’ve read several places that there were at least 4 stabbings. Probably with sharpened souvenir mini-sticks.
  • Cars were flipped, businesses destroyed, fires set – you get the picture. It was bad. Cincinnati bad.

I’ll wager that the same people who are currently lending a hand and sweeping up glass are also the city’s real hockey fans. This is what happens when Fairweather Fan Fever grips a city which is home to a successful team – especially when that team has been languishing for years. Everybody and their mother get into the spirit of the thing, and unfortunately the newly (and usually dramatically) enlarged pep squad invariably ends up containing more than a few fucktards.

 

And as we’ve seen several times in the last decade, it doesn’t necessarily have to be the city of the losing team which gets razed. Triumphant fans are also capable of unbelievable stupidity and destruction, and in this scenario it makes even less sense if that’s even possible (see Montreal, 2008). This is obviously a personal preference, but at no celebratory time in my life have I ever had even the inkling to overturn a Kia.

Here’s to a speedy recovery, Vancouver. Identifying the mental midgets in the hundreds of riot photos which have ended up online, then banning them from the Rogers Arena – and even putting them on a watch list for future downtown gatherings – will be a great start. As will fines, prison time and the inevitable shower room finger assaults that usually plague over-privileged little hipster bastards who end up doing hard time.

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T’was the Night Before Stanley


in 2011 Playoffs, Vancouver Canucks

Here I sit in the dark, staring at this blinking cursor in disbelief. My new daughter, Caroline, is out cold – dreaming of ripping a wicked wrister top drawer to win an Olympic Gold Medal. MOL is dreaming of the day when I no longer look like a crazy Amish hockey fan exiled from the village for my refusal to utilize modern shaving technologies. Or wear pants. I’m thinking, naturally of the Boston Bruins, and the looming spectre of game 7 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals.

bobby orr cupTo say I’m excited is an obvious understatement. I was not yet alive in 1972, the last time they won the Cup, but I remember my father speaking in hushed tones and with reverence when uttering the names of Cashman, Orr, Esposito and Cheevers. Gone from the chilly playing surface are those mighty men, but time and destiny have replaced them suitably with the likes of Lucic, McQuaid, Marchand, Bergeron and Recchi. This is a team that can, and will, repeat history tomorrow night – with or without their jaw-dropping home ice advantage. This is a team capable of bringing Lord Stanley’s sacred vessel back to 100 Causeway Street.

The local team has the weight of the world, or at least a blood-thirsty and slightly overweight fan base, on their shoulders. In my beyond-fevered mind, and those of many other faithful Boston fans, the team is now charged with some lofty expectations – Winning the big game for my father (who I would have thoroughly enjoyed watching this amazing playoff run with) and every other dearly departed Bruins fan. Bringing a love and respect for hockey back to an original six city that’s become awash with a disproportionate number of Sox and Pats fans. Walking on water. Curing cancer. It’s tense. It’s big.

1972-Boston Bruins YearbookAs I type the 2010-2011 Bruins are preparing themselves in Vancouver, waiting for the chance to have their names etched on that holiest of holy hockey grails. For some, like the ageless Mark Recchi, it’s probably the last kick of the can. Players from Tyler Seguin’s generation can hopefully look forward to many more long June runs wearing the black and gold. The anticipation of what is about to take place has driven me to a level of nervousness I don’t think I’ve ever reached. I feel like I’m anticipating actually suiting up and PLAYING in game 7. I can’t imagine what the boys in BC are feeling right now.

So, my words for the Bruins now are this – Do it for Jim Cornett. Do it for all the other long suffering Bruins fans. We’re behind you. We always have been, and always will be. Finish them off for everyone fighting for our country today with a Bruins pin on their body armor. Do it for Nathan Horton, who as an aside looks fantastic for a guy dealing with the type of injury he has. Do it for all the parents and coaches that helped get you to the NHL. But mostly – do it for yourselves. You have reached the ultimate goal for a hockey player. Now, realize the dream and win it all. Believe.

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Bruins Set a New NHL Playoff Record


in 2011 Playoffs, Milan Lucic, Vancouver Canucks

lucic-goalThe Boston Bruins just set a brand new Stanley Cup playoff record during the first period for the fastest 4 goals: 4:14 to be exact. Well done Marchand, Lucic, Ryder and Ference! Now please, boys – allow this penchant for easily manhandling Vancouver to survive the next 6 hour plane trip.

The previous record was 55 years old! In 1956 Montreal accomplished the feat vs. Detroit in Game 4. It was the 6th final series in a row for the Canadiens and the 3rd for the Red Wings. The Habs went on to win the series 4-1.

Also, when Brad Marchand scored the first goal of the night (his 9th of the playoffs) he broke the standing Bruins’ record for most playoff goals by a rookie. An eventful evening to say the least!

Heck of a blowout in Beantown so far – we’ll see what the 2nd and 3rd periods hold. From where we’re sitting, however, it looks like the Bruins will get their Game 7. We hate being right all the time.

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Home Ice Advantage Like You Read About


in 2011 Playoffs, Featured, Vancouver Canucks

bruins-believeWhen the Boston Bruins have laced-up at home during these 2011 NHL playoffs they’ve been nearly unstoppable. Over this last week, during the final showdown with the Vancouver Canucks, their home ice advantage has risen even further – to the extent you may be tempted to replace the word advantage with hate crime. For Boston’s loyal fans, not to be confused with the fairweather legions popping up to support Vancouver in their time of plenty, the 8-1 and 4-0 victories at the Gaaahden almost made up for the three frustrating and ever-so-close losses at the hands of the Canadian team. Tonight the battle returns to Beantown and Game 6 is going to be a Budweiser-soaked beatdown of Biblical proportions.

While we’re on the subject of team nationality, it’s already been remarked upon by several pro-Bruins blogs how unfortunate it is that the Vancouver media (and most likely the Canadian media in general) have been strongly spinning this contest as an American vs. Canadian thing. That’s what a little gathering more commonly known as the Winter Olympics are for, Jimmy Olsen. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Let’s look at some readily available nationality stats:

Vancouver Canucks

  • 17 Canadians
  • 6 Americans
  • 5 Swedes
  • 1 Russian
  • 1 Dane
  • 1 German
  • 1 Finn
  • etc.

Quite a melting pot they have out there on the left coast, eh? A smorgasbord with skates, if you will. Now let’s have a look at the

Boston Bruins

  • 17 Canadians
  • 2 Americans
  • 3 Czechs
  • 1 German
  • 1 Slovak
  • 1 Finn
  • 1 Kazakh
  • etc.

Every single Bruins forward, except Krejci, is Canadian. Quite a melting pot of people from Ontario. And the team has 4 less Yanks than the Canucks. Why, those Bruins are as American as apple pie – served to you with a slice of sharp cheddar cheese by Abraham Lincoln himself. An exact equal number of Canadians on each team with considerably more Americans on the team from Vancouver. North vs. South – I’m thinking: not. Although, as we learned from Phil Hartman in 1987, a full-on Canadian invasion isn’t so far-fetched.

But it isn’t about where the players are from (*sniffs and snivels*). It’s about the city that the team calls home and their sense of

I’m gonna stop you right there, sensitive Vancouver fan, and repeat myself: 96% of the Bruins’ forwards are Canadians who were raised in Canada (oddly enough), have Canadian families, live in Canada, pay taxes in Canada and are surely bursting with enough national pride to make a Tragically Hip concert look unenthusiastic. Try again. If you’re cheering for the Canucks simply because you’re Canadian, that’s great – but keep it in your pants. You have three times as many Americans on your team. Point made.

Every game of the series so far has been won by the home team. Home ice advantage is a fairly tangible factor, but the B’s have taken it to gorgeous extremes. The smart money is on Boston to sodomize win tonight, which will likely lead to another nailbiter back in Vancouver which could literally go either way. I wouldn’t say home ice advantage has been on Vancouver’s side to any extent. Their 3 wins have been last-minute, lucky-bounce affairs and downright silly is the person who thinks Boston remains an underdog. Let destiny commence and, for the record, I would kill to see an actual episode of Late Night With Gordon Lightfoot.

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Have Faith in the Bruins


in 2011 Playoffs, Vancouver Canucks

Ever since the Bruins fell down 0-2 to the Montreal Canadiens in the first round, I have been telling anyone who will listen, and those that won’t listen, to keep the faith. Believe in this team. There is something special on the ice in Boston, there just needs to be belief from a fan’s perspective they can do it. Most people thought I was nuts, and humored me for the five minutes it took out of their day.which is kind of how people handle me anyway, so in the end no big deal.

bruins-marchandI would further my discussion by mentioning the Bruins are the last of the major sports teams in Boston to have not won a recent championship. Since 1972, we have suffered through mind numbingly bad teams, great teams that couldn’t get it done in the end and a lot of middle of the pack drudgery through the season that wound up in first round playoff losses when it got to April. There has been a bit of a resurgence on Causeway Street in the last few years, and those too have ended is varying degrees of failures the last three years. This year is different. All of the aforementioned sports teams had to overcome adversity too. 2001 saw the Bledsoe/Brady injury swap. The 2004 Red Sox, after a bitter defeat of their own at the hands of the dreaded Yankees the year prior found themselves in a deep hole against the same Yankees, and came back to win. I’m sure the Celtics had some adversity as well, but really, I could not care less. All these teams had to face adversity, and all had a mega moment of inspiration to pull them through.

In 2001, the country was reeling from the 9/11 attacks at the hands of the now defunct Osama Bin Laden. It was a terrible time for the USA, and the feel good sports story would be a team called the Patriots going against all odds to win the whole friggin thing. The monkey wrench was thrown in the works when Drew Bledsoe was nearly killed against the Jets near the end of the year. In comes some young upstart in Tom Brady at the helm, and he leads the Patriots to the Promised Land. Along the way there was the tuck rule against Oakland that ultimately decided the game, and provided more inspiration for the beloved Pats. Heavily favored St. Louis had nothing for the young upstarts, and the Patriots won on a long bomb from a kicker that is now a traitor. Enough inspiration there? No? Read on.

The 2004 Red Sox fell down 0-3 to the hated Yankees in the ALCS, and it looked like all was lost. A couple of extra inning games later, and a stolen base by Dave Roberts helped them overcome seemingly insurmountable odds to win the series, and go on to beat the Cardinals in short order. Oh yeah, there was the matter of the bloody sock game as well. Curt Shilling pitched the game of his life on one leg to help the boys defeat the Yankees and move on.

bruins-game4The 2011 Bruins have faced their share of adversity. From falling down 0-2 to the Canadiens, to losing what should have been a big game 4 in Tampa, to losing in game 6 against Tampa after a huge game 5 win, and then winning game 7 in a tight contest to get to the Finals. Then, when they get to the Finals, they drop 0-2 again to the favored Canucks. Sure, that’s a lot of adversity for one team, but where is the over the top, so over the top it had to come from a sports movie moment for them? Well, it happened at around the 5 minute mark of the first period last night when Aaron Rome drilled a defenseless Nathan Horton with a crushing blindside head shot.

The Canucks have now made two fatal mistakes. Other than poking the bear, which they did by taunting the Bruins during game 2 after the biting incident, and hurting one of their best guys last night, they have given the Bruins a classic We’ll do it for Johnny moment. The Bruins are a proud bunch of players that take blue collar hockey and the code very seriously. They play much better when they are angry, as evidence by the 8-1 win last night, and now, they have their over the top inspiration in avenging the injury to Horton. Couple that with the true colors of Bobby Lou, who at times is shakier than American auto maker’s finances, with the inability of the Sedins to play their game, and the Canucks have a recipe for disaster on their hands. Bruins in 7. Believe.

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