GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

Pat Maroon is a Broon (Bruin)!


in Patrick Maroon, Nicolas Deslauriers, Zdeno Chara

Well, isn’t this a lovely surprise! Welcome to Beantown, Pat.

The Boston Bruins made significant moves at the NHL trade deadline, acquiring Pat Maroon and Andrew Peeke. Maroon, a three-time Stanley Cup champion, is no slouch, a great acquisition and was traded from the Minnesota Wild to the Bruins in exchange for Luke Toporowski and a 2026 sixth-round conditional draft pick.

We like this. We like it a lot. It’s right up with Matt Rempe‘s recent awesome introduction.

Pat Maroon’s Background and Impact

A seasoned winger in his 16th NHL season, Maroon brings hard fought experience and hard nosed leadership to Boston. Known for his physical presence and veteran skillset, Maroon has played in four consecutive Stanley Cup Finals, winning with the St. Louis Blues in 2019 and the Tampa Bay Lightning in 2020 and 2021. His addition is expected to bolster the team’s depth, grit and provide valuable insights to younger players.

Maroon is known for his physical playing style and ability to score goals near the net. As of today, he’s had 121 career goals, 183 assists and 304 points – no small feat. He is recognized as a power forward who excels in using his size and strength to create scoring opportunities and provide a strong presence. 

His gritty play, willingness to fight for pucks/retribution, and his knack for setting up teammates or defending teammates highlight his potential importance in Boston.

But Can Pat Maroon Fight?

Pat definitely has a noteworthy fighting record in the NHL, and has proven himself beyond willing to engage in on-ice altercations. Throughout his career, Maroon has been involved in many scraps, demonstrating his toughness and ability to stand up for himself and his team. His fighting style and frequency will add an element of backbone and subsequent intimidation to Boston’s roster – much needed in light of Milan Lucic‘s unexpected departure earlier this season.

Pat Maroon’s NHL Fight Record

Maroon has been involved in a total of 63 fights throughout his 16 NHL seasons. His win/loss record is open to personal opinion, but there’s no doubt he’ll add to the Bruins’ fighting firepower.

Most recently, Maroon fought Nick Deslauriers (back in January), and while very few punches actually landed, most chalked it up as a win for Nick – who must have had a very sore right hand after due to all his punches to the back of Pat’s helmet.

His longest fight was against Zdeno Chara (ironic) in 2017, and the intense altercation between the 6-foot-3, 225-pound Maroon and the 6-foot-9, 250-pound Chara involved a lot of grappling with few punches thrown. “It’s not fun to fight Chara“.

Bruins’ Post-Trade Outlook

Peeke, a right-hand defenseman, brings size, penalty-killing skills, and depth to the Bruins’ defense.

The acquisitions of Maroon and Peeke (from the Columbus Blue Jackets) demonstrate the Bruins’ aim to strengthen the their line depth, leadership, and defensive capabilities. Making moves at the trade deadline surprised some, but make them more capable of making a strong playoff push.

And that’s all fantastic and everything – but I’m sure most of us look forward to Pat’s first donnybrook wearing the Black and Gold, too. We hope Mr. Maroon and his lovely wife, Francesca Vangel, enjoy their new North Station era. Get after it, Patty boy!

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Matt Rempe: The Fist Fortnight


in Uncategorized, Matt Rempe, Nicolas Deslauriers, Ryan Reaves

Not “fortnite”, like the popular game where your kid demolishes Mom’s credit cards in order to get a gun in a slightly different shade of green. We mean the British “fort-night“, meaning “two weeks”. And “fist” was meant to be “first”. Just a tragic intro, is the point.

Because, faaaaak, bud. This is the story of a rookie whose NHL antics over 13 days may be able to consistently keep me up past 10pm and reboot the importance of the enforcer role in general.

Fairweather Fruitcakes

As much as it pains me to love a Canadien, I’m still a massive Xhekaj fan, and he had a scrap over the weekend that was as one-sided as they come. It’s also good to see him doing his thing in the NHL again after a demotion to the AHL earlier in the year.

For those of you who have been following Goonblog for a while, you’ll remember we were this close to becoming a Geocities Arber Xhekaj fan site after “WiFi” began running amok in the NHL last year.

But the belle of the ball has been bumped, best-buddy. After the last couple weeks – we may now be in danger of becoming a Matt Rempe fan site. And that’s OK.

Fifteen Days of Matt Rempe

To say Matt has been “busy” since earning his callup just 15 days ago… is the understatement of the year. Since his debut, the little dickens has:

  • Fought Nick Deslauriers in what some people have called the “fight of the decade”.
  • Lost to Mathieu Olivier in a slug fest that gave him a couple of black eyes.
  • Had a Toronto Saturday-night-center-ice-showdown with the legend, Ryan Reaves.

Is Matt fighting against The Ring death clock and that creepy little girl? Or maybe getting an early start on his Nicholson/Freeman bucket list? He is clearly relishing his role as the new tough trousers in New York, and it’s great to see established guys giving the kid a shot. It’s an old school way to operate in the NHL, and I love it.

So, yeah – the hockey world is abuzz as a result of this fascinating new edition. Love or hate the Blueshirts, they play in the biggest media market in the world, and the kind of buzz Rempe generates is great for the fight game. Give yourselves a shake and think “big picture”.

Du-Laurier: Special Mild

The fun got started last Saturday when the Rangers visited the Flyers for an afternoon game on ESPN. Something about afternoon games, man. I remember PJ Stock fighting Stephen Peat on a Saturday afternoon, and while this wasn’t as violent, it certainly had an old school flair to it.

The fight itself gets going early in the first period, but like a lot of these things, it was definitely planned during warm ups.

Deslauriers was seen, leaning over the red line, telling Rempe the Younger they were going to have a fuckin’ go. Matt, with a giant smile on his face, didn’t seem to have an issue with that. Totally off topic, but does anyone else get a Richard Kiel vibe from Rempe?

At the 3-minute mark of the first, it’s on. Simply because Deslauriers and Rempe found themselves on the ice at the same time. Deslauriers gets the Rempire State Building’s attention, and it’s go time.

The gloves come off and they size each other up a bit at center ice. After some posturing, Rempe gets in close, and Deslauriers throws a few rights. From there, each throws hard right hands at one another and both helmets fly off. Both guys employ the jersey over the head tactic a bit. Aside from a little tying each others arms up chicanery, it’s mostly hard rights from each guy after the aggressive fucking shirtings.

Tale of the Tape

Rempe’s size is a disadvantage more often than not, and something Ryan Reaves exploits later in the week. We’ll get there.

When Matt throws a punch, however, he gets inside of the other guy’s reach. And when he misses, he often lands a nice right hand for his troubles. So he’s almost always doing serious damage – because he’s just big and strong. In spite of that size advantage which will undoubtedly to haunt him at some point. And, as we continue, already has.

I score the fight a draw, with a gun to my head advantage to Rempe. Deslauriers is cut, and I think Rempe got a few more punches to land. So far, it’s my fight of the year, and if you wanted to make a fight of the decade argument, like PK Subban did, I’m all ears.

The next night the Rangers were in Columbus to play the Bluejackets and stop me if you heard this one before.

Two Guys Walk Into Warm Ups…

Mathieu Olivier and Matt Rempe were seen stretching it out at the red line, talking it over. “It” being when and where they’d throw down.

At about the 3-minute mark of the first period, it was time to stop talking and start fighting. Rempe used his size at the beginning of the tilt landing two hard right hands. He goes over and under, landing another right, and then delivers a quick uppercut to Olivier. That’s when the tide turns, and Olivier finally gets into the fight. He nails Rempe with four successive right hands, with that fourth being a bell-ringer.

Rempe looks a little stunned and is trying to hang on as Olivier lands a couple of more punches before taking Rempe down, much to the delight of the home crowd. They are certainly entertained and appreciative of Olivier’s work. Despite the cut, and early Rempe lead in the fight, I score it a decisive win for Mathieu Olivier.

You can’t win them all in your first 1.5 weeks, kid.

The Main Event.

This was one of those fights that everyone knew was going to happen. It’s been a while since a Saturday night fight was a topic of discussion in pre-game analysis, but PK Subban was sure to let everyone know he had the inside track on the likely Rempe-related shenanigans. The die was cast.

Once again, it didn’t take long for Matt Rempe to find his opponent in Toronto’s Ryan Reaves. They first met by the Ranger’s bench early in the first, and Rempe looked first to his coach for approval – to just fuggin’ get it on. Which some missed, and counted as a denial. After getting the nod though, the boys took it out to center ice.

Matt Rempe vs. Ryan Reaves: First Fisticuffs

First, but not last in the grand scheme of things, to be sure. Anyway, Reaves did a nice job of keeping the taller Rempe at bay. Rempe gave Reavo a facefull of left jabs while they were sorta locked up.

As expected, Rempe throws a punch and Reaves takes the opportunity to throw one of his own while Rempe is actually inside of his reach. You can tell Ryan watched some tape on the kid, as the dance he’s doing with Rempe is well choreographed. The crowd is going totally ape shit – and, as they tire each other out, they also give each other “the good fight. I’m friggin’ spent” nod.

Online. this fight online is about as divided as can be. It’s a 41% advantage for Rempe, 39% for Reaves, and 20% draw. I gave a slight advantage to Reavo in this one. I liked his technical ability, and I think he landed more. As always, kudos to him for giving the kid a shot!

Bond Villain Early Identification

Matt “Jaws” Rempe (back to the Richard Kiel reference) had himself a hell of a first week or so in the National Hockey League. Absolutely a jot to watch. He’s fought 4 really tough customers without a flinch, and has about a .500 record.

For me, it’s never been about wins and losses. I love the kid because he’s willing to be the guy that does this job. I love that the veteran guys are giving him a shot, and they’re all still fighting for the sake of fighting.

It encourages me that this sort of thing is still going on in my beloved game. Ryan Reaves said the kid is going to be a menace in the league, and I can’t think of higher praise. If Rempe keeps slugging it out, we’ll keep covering it! You GO, buddy!

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Matt Rempe – Off to a Great Start, Eh?


in Matt Rempe, Hal Gill, Matt Martin

As Stan Fischler pointed out in his Hockey News column, the whole world is talking about New York Rangers forward, Matt Rempe. Or, the Rempire State Building as he’s come to be known. Because he’s like… wicked tall, eh? You get it.

I find Fischler to be crusty. And the only person in the entire world that seems to have a personal problem with Bobby Orr, so that’s clearly an issue, but when the man is right, he’s right.

After the “Skating Giraffe”‘s debut (Fischler’s nickname, not mine – and isn’t that what people used to call Hal Gill?) for the New York Rangers, I can’t blame anyone for being a bit excited about this kid.

Rempe’s Ramp Up

Matt Rempe earned a call up to the Blueshirts from AHL Hartford just last weekend. A common knock on this year’s Rangers team has been – they might be a little soft. Outside of Jake Trouba, who I am still a little salty at for attempting to behead Trent Frederic in November, the criticism has been accurate. One phone call to Hartford, though, and they may have solved their problem.

Matt Rempe Photo - From Yardbarker.com

Last weekend was the NHL’s annual Stadium Series event. It’s an annual outdoor game, or games, to add a little spice to the schedule. This year, they changed it a bit by having 4 teams play over two days, and featured some regional rivals slugging it out at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey. The New Jersey Devils played on Saturday against the Philadelphia Flyers, and the New York Rangers played their hated rivals, The New York Islanders on Sunday.

It’s a cool concept adding in a couple games to a somewhat stale format. I would not have wanted to be on the ice crew as maintaining ice is hard enough outside, never mind trying to have two NHL games on successive days outdoors to keep ice maintained for. Good thing I made the vocational decision I did, eh? Anyway, the Rangers made a call to Hartford for the affair, and Matt Rempe gave them exactly what they wanted.

Matt Rempe: An NHL Debut For the Ages

No one had ever made their NHL debut in an outdoor game until last weekend.

Not only was is Rempe’s first game in the Show, but it came on the 6th anniversary of his father’s death. Matt’s father Ron died from a heart attack while shoveling snow in Calgary 6 years ago. He was said to be a huge hockey guy and a passionate Calgary Flames season ticket holder. The first call Matt probably made when he learned of the callup was to his mom.

Speaking from my own personal experience, I know he would have loved to talk to his dad about the call up as well. I never earned the call Matt got, but I did lose a father and I know during many times in my life, I have reached for the phone for his advice. I can imagine Matt Rempe having some bittersweet feelings about making the NHL, and not having his dad there to cheer him on.

Take a (Rookie) Lap

Sort of a newer tradition in the NHL, is the rookie lap. Basically, whomever is making their NHL debut leads the team to the ice. The rest of the group stays behind and the rookie skates around all by himself. Some guys get a quick turn on their own, and then the boys come out. In Rempe’s case, he was given a long skate on his own.

The kid has a giant smile on his face the whole time, and towards the end, looks over with a laugh to see if the rest of the Rangers are coming out at all. Most of the time this rookie lap is done in front of sparse crowds in an arena that holds 20,000 people. In Rempe’s case he did it outside in a place that holds 80,000. That right there is pretty special.

The game starts and the New York Rangers score very early. Then, at the 18:31 mark on the scoreboard, Matt Rempe makes his NHL debut in an even bigger way. The New York Islanders send out Matt Martin, one of the toughest guys in the National, to set a tone. The puck doesn’t even hit the ice, and these guys are speedin’ off to Diggstown.

Hittin’ the Matts: Rempe vs. Martin

Rempe ties Martin and throws some quick punches. Eventually these guys trade a couple more good shots, but Rempe clearly has a size advantage and does a good job tying Martin up. Good strategy, because if Martin does get loose, he can really hurt you.

Eventually, they get tired and give each other the “that’s enough. Good scrap nod.” Props to Matt Martin for giving the massive 21-year-old a shot, and – win lose or draw – the late Ron Rempe was probably very proud. What a way to start one’s NHL career!

Rempe’s final line in the 6-5 OT win was 9 total shifts for 4:23 in ice time. He spent 5 minutes in the box. Outstanding debut, Matt! More PIM than TOI. That is a stat we here at Goonblog.com can get behind.

A couple of nights later, Rempe was given a Match Penalty for an illegal hit on New Jersey’s Nate Bastian. It was absolutely the right call, but part of the issue is Rempe is 6’8”, so, he’s just going to get calls like that against him sometimes. What’s interesting is, the Rangers were very badly outshot and still won the game. Stats like that tell me the other team could have been playing with their head on a swivel waiting for the next giant hit to be laid.

This further signals that Rempe is already well into doing his job bringing toughness to the Rangers, and we wish him the best of luck in the NHL!

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The Top 5 Fighters in the NHL – 2024


in Andreas Englund, Brady Thachuk, Goons, Liam O'Brien, Nicolas Deslauriers

There’s been a lot of hockey on as of late that featured zero fights. The NHL All Star game, the Beanpot, and “any Boston Bruins game” to name a few.

Seriously, I don’t even remember the last time the Bruins had a fight. I see scraps throughout the National, and other leagues, so I know it’s still a “thing” – just not with our beloved Bruins.

Bruins on Their Best Behavior

A couple weeks ago in a 4-0 trouncing of the Philadelphia Flyers, there wasn’t so much as a cross word. Last night against the Canucks, in a lopsided Bruins win, there likewise wasn’t a whisp of aggro. In spite of a river of really bad blood between the two clubs, going back to the 2011 finals,. A fight, was not to be – and I never thought I’d miss the Sedin Sisters.

To the point. There’s fighting going on, not in Boston, but there’s fighting going on. And apparently not just on Saturday nights – which I have been led to believe is so/so, or even alright for fighting.

Increase in Fighting in the NHL

Our friends at The Hockey News, using some data compiled by the guys at hockeyfights.com, are saying that fighting is up in the NHL – through the first 368 games played during the 2023-2024 season. There’s been a total of 97 fights, which averages out to 0.2636 fights per game. That’s 1 in every 4 games, and a delightful statistic.

Looking at the totals from the previous two seasons, there were 334 scraps in 2022-23, and 2021-22 had 331 fights over the full 82 games slate.

At the current pace, the NHL is on target for 345 fights – or an increase of 11, year over year. Now, these numbers aren’t earth-shattering, to be sure, but in this day and age, it is a little shocking/awesome to see hockey fighting on the rise.

All this data it begs the simplified question: Who’s doing all the fighting? In recent the past it’s been Nicholas Deslauriers and Tom Wilson carrying the load. But who are the current 2024 ruffians?

The Top 5 Fighters in the NHL Are:

  • Andreas Englund – Los Angeles – 8 Fights
  • Liam O’Brien – Arizona – 8 Fights
  • Nicholas Deslauriers – Philadelphia – 7 Fights
  • Brady Thachuk – Ottawa – 6 Fights
  • Jonah Gadjovich – Florida – 6 Fights

What is in the water in these Eastern Conference arenas? 3 of the top 5 are in the East. Of the premiere fighters, only Andreas Englund is on a team currently in playoff contention. He had a terrific scrap against Trent Frederic earlier in the year, earning him the “Freddy Fisticuffs” nickname. Ironically enough, it was in the last game Milan Lucic played this season, and possibly ever. I am so mad at him, but that’s a whole other story.

Why are NHL Hockey Fights Increasing?

Why all the fighting, guys? I can speak for Liam O’Brien. We’ve covered his want to stir the pot here a couple of times already this year. Brady Tkachuk, I have seen fight out of frustration. He reminds me a bit of Shorsey. I guarantee he cries when he gets frustrated.

Deslauriers is one of the last goons in the game, and I’m not surprised to see his name on this list at all. Andreas Englund has built a reputation for being a big, tough defenseman that will throw hands when called on, as evidenced by having 8 scraps this year. Gadjovich plays on a really shitty team. I bet he’s trying to set the tone a lot.

I mentioned earlier in the season that guys seemed to be fighting angry. The trend of squaring up and throwing punches at each other is continuing.

Fighting is still a big part of the WHL and OHL, but the ban on fighting in the QMJHL seems to have worked as they’ve had only 8 fights as a league. Those Quebec kids are going to have to rely on their Western and Ontario peers to defend them in the show.

Bottom line: It’s encouraging to me that fighting is still alive in hockey. It remains the only game in which the players police themselves. You play with disrespect, and you’ll be dealt with.

I’m not saying it’s “well”, but it’s definitely “alive”. Is what I’m saying. I’m saying that.

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Make Some Noise for Terry Ryan


in Terry Ryan, ECHL

It was a big weekend for the Newfoundland Growlers of the ECHL, the province of Newfoundland, and sputtering old guys everywhere. Newfoundland’s highest NHL draft pick ever, Terry Ryan, was signed to a Standard Player Contract on Saturday, then played Sunday, for the shorthanded Growlers against the Adirondack Thunder. Doesn’t seem abnormal. Why the big deal, then, Goonblog?

Well, super-chief, the big deal is that Terry Ryan is 47 years old.

Puppers Pints and Draft Picks

That’s right, folks. Terry Ryan turned 47 on Sunday January 14th. Ryan was taken 8th overall by the Montreal Canadiens in 1995, making him the Province’s highest NHL draft pick of all time. It’s a pretty cool story.

Apparently, he was in a bar getting pinted when the Growlers called him about playing. Naturally, he ignored the first call. Thankfully, they called back, and the 5 or 6 Puppers-deep Ryan answered the call. They told him they were short guys, and could he play Sunday in the Growlers last game before the ECHL All Star break. Terry put his beer down and promptly reported for duty just a few hours later.

Terry Ryan’s NHL Stats

Terry Ryan played 8 NHL games for the Habs over 3 seasons from 1996 to 1999. He recorded 0 points and managed 36 Penalty Minutes. In 1998 he fought some tough guys of the day like, Matt Baranby, Doug Houda, and Bob Boughner. In 2001, he suffered a serious ankle injury that forever ended his chances at making a return to the show.

Courtesy of CBC News.

Considered an NHL bust, or a “footnote” as Ryan describes himself in the title of his autobiography, “Tales of a First-Round Nothing: My Life as an NHL Footnote”, Ryan then played pro hockey around North America in various Minor Leagues. He made some stops as high as the AHL and was a contributor on the score sheet everywhere he went, in spite of coming up snake eyes in the biggest.

Where he’s had the most success, hockey wise, is ball hockey. Living where I do in Massachusetts, I know some serious ball hockey ballers, and they all know Terry Ryan. He’s won several championships in the medium and has been a member of The Big Deal Selects of Spittin’ Chiclets fame.

Terry Ryan on “Shorsey”

Terry Ryan has also been working in film. If you’re a fan of the Letterkenny and specifically Shorsey programs (and if not, why?), then you’ll surely recognize Terry as Ted Hitchcock on the extremely quotable show. Apparently, his abilities as a classic storyteller, a trait he got from Terry Ryan Sr., have endeared him to the hockey community and was a big reason he got the role.

Because the Boys Love It! Hell, We All Do

Best part (and it’s honestly hard to pick just one)? not only did Terry Ryan make his return to pro hockey on his 47th birthday, he also managed to get in a scrap. The announcer in the clip asks, “why?” and the other one says, “because the boys love it!” He’s not wrong. For a 47 year old guy playing against guys that probably weren’t even born when he was in the NHL, he does pretty well in the scrap. You can tell his balance is a bit off from not having fought in a non-acting way on ice in a while, but he held his faakin’ own, bud.

From what I understand of Terry Ryan, he is an absolute beauty. A certified beautician to be sure. He was emotional in discussing the game because his daughter and her friends were all there, and he didn’t want to embarrass himself.

Speaking for all of us, I don’t think Terry Ryan embarrassed himself at all. He did exactly what I would want out of a veteran hockey player. He stood up for a guy when he thought it warranted, and did OK in the scrap to boot. I’m sure the boys were fired up as can be after seeing that. Nice to see the fighting spirit alive and well in Newfoundland!

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Daddy, Would You Like Some Sausage?


in Liam O'Brien, Goons, Jeremy Swayman, Trent Frederic

As I’m in New York all week on business, I was watching Freddy Got Fingered (you know, for the professional inspiration which stems from creative meat entrepreneurism) and eventually the Bruins on my computer the other night… when they lost to Phoenix.

It was eerily similar to the loss they had there last year, with the same guy that scored on Jeremy Swayman in OT last year scoring on Jeremy Swayman in OT this year. I can’t remember if Trent Frederic got jumped last year by Liam O’Brien, but he certainly did this time around.

While watching the game, I was struck by how badly Phoenix’s Liam O’Brien was looking for a scrap. He’s a known commodity in the shit-disturbing field, and Phoenix was looking to snap a losing skid. Good thing they played the Bruins, because if you’re in a slump as a team, or an individual, play the Bruins. They just LOVE, and I mean LOVE ending shart streaks for teams and players.

Strokes and Scraps

So, here’s Liam O’Brien running around like his hair is on fire. Thankfully, ESPN+ gives the viewer an option to pick the home or away feed for games. I chose to listen to Phoenix, because I can’t take old Strokey McGee (er, Jack Edwards) slurring his way through games anymore. And so Phoenix were commenting on how badly O’Brien was looking for a scrap.

At the 2:11 mark of the second period, O’Brien gets his chance to fight. Trent Frederic is engaged with Travis Dermott next to the net when O’Brien comes in and decides he wants to get his gloves off and do a bit of scrappin’. Before Freddy can even fully oblige him, O’Brien lands about 4 right hands. Then, when he does finally get his gloves all the way off, O’Brien goes for the takedown, which is a pussy move in hockey in my opinion.

I score no points for takedowns anyway, but I especially don’t in this case because OB jumped Freddy and gets taken down right when he has a chance to start getting truly engaged in the fracas. I suppose I have to score the fight as a clear win for O’Brien, as he did beat the brakes off of a guy that he jumped, but I don’t like it, and I also don’t fully get why.

Aside from jumping a guy being a major code violation – in this instance, O’Brien had zero reason to jump Trent Fredric. As stated, Liam O’Brien was doing his job by running around looking for a scrap. So was Freddy. Then again, Frederic for the most part is kinda always looking for one.

I thought it was gutless and totally unnecessary for O’Brien to jump Freddy there. I’m 100% positive if he had said, “Freddy, leave him. I’ll go ya right now”, Frederic would have disengaged with Dermott, dropped his mitts, and squared up with O’Brien. I’d bet my life on it.

I fully understand hockey is a game of emotion, but for O’Brien to jump a guy, especially a known and willing combatant, was especially erroneous. All he needed to do was honor the code by asking, and not jumping a guy. It would have accomplished what he was trying to do, and selfishly, it would have made for a better fight in my opinion.

Liam O’Brien is right in Trent Frederic’s wheelhouse. O’Brien dishonored the code and robbed us of a potentially entertaining fight by being a gutless punk.

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Top 19 Hockey Movies With the Most Swearing


in Hockey Movies

The fucking prevalence of profanity in hockey movies can be attributed to several factors. First, these films aim to capture the visceral and intense nature of the sport, where naughty utterances often serve as an outlet for stress, frustration, and (definitely) aggression. Because, “You and me? We’re gonna fuckin’ GO“.

Next, being a hockey player at any level – pro or amateur – is a tough racket where participants are always on edge. So it’s of little surprise that harsh language has always contributed to the emotional fabric of the game.

Also not a shocker? Filmmakers employ profanity as a tool to portray the inherent tensions and rivalries in the sport, encapsulate the spirit of the locker room, and generate a deeper connection with the audience by offering a raw and unvarnished depiction of this cold (figuratively and literally) world.

Which Hockey Movies Have the Most Curse Words?

That’s what we’re all here to find out, you goddamn fuckwit. Please note that these counts may friggin’ vary based on the version of the film being watched. Franchises (with the exception of Goon) are lumped into single entries. And listen, shithead, these numbers took a long time to figure out, and definitely make the desired point, so don’t be comin’ at me with any nitpicky corrections. Because we had a fuckin’ close look around the interwebnets. I don’t think any useless shithead (like myself) has ever taken the time to compile this crap before. And, before we get down to business – go fuck yourself.

#1: Goon (2011) – Est. 200 profanities.
Topping Goonblog’s list is the heartfelt and bone-crunching tale of Doug Glatt (Seann William Scott), a bouncer turned hockey player whose punches hits harder than a freight train – but the kid can’t skate. Doug’s jersey number “69” was chosen because Sean thought it was such an obvious cliche that it couldn’t help but be funny. Known for its blunt humor and realistic portrayal of the rough side of hockey, “Goon” features a significant number of fuckin’ curse words and had a $6.5 million box office haul. This fresh and humorous take on the hockey genre scored a solid 81% on Rotten Tomatoes, needs to be seen by any fan of the game, and is one for the ages.

#2: Slap Shot (1977) – Est. 140 profanities.
A classic in the hockey film genre, Slap Shot is a raucous comedy about a failing hockey team that finds success through their ruthless gamesmanship. This milestone of sports movie history earned $28 million at the box office which was a fortune in those days. Nancy Dowd’s brilliant script helped it earn an 83% rating on Rotten Tomatoes with its entertaining and satirical look at the sport – and also contains a fair amount of profanity, to put it lightly. You couldn’t make this sort of movie today (read into that what you will, moonbat), so thank Christ someone got around to it in the appropriate era of other crass classics like Blazing Saddles. What a film.

#3: Youngblood (1986) – Est. 130 profanities.
Youngblood, while focusing on the coming-of-age of its protagonist, also includes a significant number of curse words and pulled in $15 million domestically. Rob Lowe stars as a farm-boy turned hockey prodigy, with Patrick Swayze showing him the ropes and Keanu Reeves making an early career appearance as the team’s goalie. Considered one of the “unsung” hockey movies by its many fans, if you haven’t seen it do yourself a favor.

#4: Mystery Alaska (1999) – Est. 90 profanities.
Despite its lighter comedic tone and focus on the classic underdog narrative, “Mystery, Alaska” doesn’t shy away from that adult language. A small-town hockey team gets a shot at the big leagues and the film got an unfair 38% on RT. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? It’s nowhere near that bad. It’s a great watch, and not just because Mike Myers makes a cameo as Donnie Shulzhoffer. We don’t know anyone who thinks this is a D- movie, and if you missed it the first time it comes with the GB stamp of approval.

#5 The Chiefs (2004) – Est. 85 profanities.
This heartfelt documentary, often referred to as “Les Chiefs”, explores the ups and downs of a minor league hockey team and earned an incredible 99% RT critic score. The team’s logo was created by a 7-year-old fan. Which is about the age I felt, mentally, when after a fruitless and multi-year search I finally realized you can watch it for free on Youtube . Don’t be that guy. Dig into this masterpiece below.

#6: Goon: Last of the Enforcers (2017) – Est. 75 profanities.
Just when you thought hockey couldn’t get any rougher, along comes “Goon 2” – a sequel that takes excessive on-ice violence to a new level. It’s a rollercoaster ride of fists, fights, and, believe it or not, strong friendship themes. Sean William Scott, after the success of the first Goon movie, not only reprised his role as Doug Glatt but also stepped in as one of the film’s executive producers. It got another bullshit RT critic rating of 41%, and grossed a little over $1.2 milion in its limited box office release. But neither numeral is indicative of how truly enjoyable this flick is. Don’t be swayed.

#7: Pond Hockey (2008) – Est. 70 profanities.
A documentary that pays tribute to the purest form of the sport – pond hockey. Minnesotans celebrate the tradition of outdoor ice hockey with a gritty tournament held in – you guessed it -Minneapolis. The tourney is framed by interviews with professional players, sports scholars, journalists, and dedicated fans and delves into the underlying philosophical aspects of sports – attempting to understand its intrinsic value and purpose. NHL legend Wayne Gretzky makes a guest appearance. 89% RT score.

#8: The Rocket (2005): Est. 65 profanities.
A biopic about the life and career of Maurice “The Rocket” Richard, from humble beginnings to his status as an absolute hockey legend. The film was so popular in Quebec that schools were closed so students could watch it. Cementing the fact that in his day (and ongoing) Mo was a true hero to the people of Quebec. Fans liked it a lot more than critics did (88% vs 56% RT score) and it clocked $2.7 million at the box office.

#9: The Last Gladiators (2011): Est. 60 profanities.
Unabridged history of the hockey goon. This documentary delves into the tough and often-overlooked lives of NHL enforcers, the hockey world’s equivalent of Roman gladiators. Featuring prominently, among many other toothless chaps, Chris “Knuckles” Nilan – who racked up over 3,000 penalty minutes in his career. Critics absolutely loved it, scoring it 90% collectively on RT.

#10: Miracle (2004): Est. 45 profanities.
The underdog tale of a lifetime. A bunch of college hockey players, and a coach with a penchant for motivational speeches, take on the Soviet Union team. Spoiler alert: They win. Fun trivia: Kurt Russell wore the same clothes Herb Brooks wore during the actual 1980 Winter Olympics. More fun trivia? The Ref attended the Boston premiere and got to enjoy a post-screening Q&A with members of the actual team. A memorable hit, it yanked in $64.5 million and remains hockey film canon to this day.

#11: Ice Guardians (2016): Est. 40 profanities.
A tribute to the unsung heroes of the rink, the enforcers. It’s like Fight Club on ice, but without Brad Pitt and with a bonkers 100% on RT. Fun trivia: The film features interviews with some of the toughest players in the NHL, and there’s a heavy focus on how strategically difficult – and physically punishing – it is to stay relevant as a goon. Especially as fighting becomes less integral. That is, perhaps, until the 23-24 season!

#12: The Mighty Ducks (1992): Est. 35 profanities.
A ragtag team of misfit kids, a reluctant coach with a DUI, and a duck-themed chant that’ll stick in your head. Quack, quack, quack! Fun trivia: The film’s success led to the creation of a real NHL team, the Anaheim Ducks. Also, I’ve lumped the first 3 movies into one position on our list. Which makes the actual curse count about 11.6 expletives per questionable Disney flick. The critics have hated every one of them, and I don’t even want to look up the combined earnings. Quack.

#13: Red Army (2014): Est. 20 profanities.
Ever wondered what it’s like to play hockey while being watched by the KGB? Welcome to the Red Army Hockey Club – a place where diplomacy meets Slapshot. The film’s director, Gabe Polsky, played Division I hockey at Yale. Critics gave it a collective 92%, it only hauled in about $694,600, and as much as I’d like to watch it remains elusive. Actually, scratch that – I hadn’t searched in a while and apparently it is now available on Prime.

#14: Score: A Hockey Musical (2010): Est. 15 profanities.
Combining the hard-hitting world of hockey with… musical theatre. Get your jazz hands and hockey sticks ready for a not-surprising mess of a movie. Fun trivia: The film opened the 35th Toronto International Film Festival. Must have been a slow year at TIFF, the critics hated it, and I’m only including it on our list because we’re starting to run short on blue movies involving bluelines. Let’s move on, shall we?

#15: The Boys on the Bus (1987): Est. 10 profanities.
Hockey players, a bus, and life on the road. What could go wrong or be less entertaining? This unfiltered look at the Edmonton Oilers is like a reality TV show but with more teeth missing. The film follows the team during their absolutely glorious 1986-87 Stanley Cup season. Hard to find, shown on TV a few times and had a one-off VHS release – so if you have a copy get at us. Chris claims he’s seen it and that it’s the best thing ever. #jealous

#16: Face Off (1971): Est. 8 profanities.
A film that asks the question, “Can a hockey player and a hippie find true love?” It’s like “Romeo and Juliet,” but with a whole lot more percosets. The film was partly shot during an actual Toronto Maple Leafs game, and it’s great to see the Maple Leaf Garden coupled with 70s fashion. Also known as “Winter Comes Early”, Leafs winger Jim McKenny was the stand-in for lead actor, Art Hindle, in the long shots of game action. A shitty love story, but it has swears, so there ya go.

#17: Net Worth (1995): Est. 6 profanities.
A serious look at what happens when you mix hockey, business, and a fight for players’ rights. The film is based on the real-life struggles of NHL player Ted Lindsay and was made for TV. So we should assume the curse count is a little lax here. Likely a “goddamit” or three, and possibly a groundbreaking “shit” in the pre-Sopranos world of cable. If I ever find it, I’ll watch solely because Billy Van of The Hilarious House of Frankenstein has a role. Now that’s obscure Canadiana.

#18: Les Boys (1997): Est. 5 profanities.
With more sequels than even the Mighty Ducks, it’s safe to say: when the French Canadians come up with a CanCon hit… they should have (and did) milk it for all it was worth. When a ragtag team of beer-league hockey players bet their dignity on a game, hilarity ensues. Will they triumph or will they need to… streak? I assume they get naked at some point, but I’d rather watch Black Panther again than try and subtitle my way through this mess. Fun trivia: The film was so popular in Quebec, no one ever saw it outside of that province.

#19: Keep Your Head Up Kid: The Don Cherry Story (2010): Est. 1 profanity.
An epic tale of a man, his dog, and his flamboyant suits. This biopic charts the rise of the most colorful character in hockey broadcasting history. Jared Keeso, who plays Don Cherry, won the Canadian Gemini Award for his performance. About 8 years later, Keeso would start posting the hilarious YouTube videos that would evolve into the Letterkenny and Shoresy TV series we’ve all come to know and love. Made for TV (hence the one profanity) and divided into two parts, miraculously Chris and I were able to find this online – and thoroughly enjoyed it.

In sum, hockey movies tend to use a significant amount of explicit language to portray the raw emotions and tension that are a part of the sport. This usage of explicit language helps to maintain authenticity and realism in the portrayal of the gritty world of hockey.

What Are the Top 25 Profanities Themselves?

You faaaakin’ had to ask, eh? To provide an overall summary of profanity usage in the top 19 hockey movies, the lecherous list below consolidates the estimated counts of each swear word across all the films featured above. There’s a reason I have an English degree, but the math is probably close:

  1. Fuck: Estimated total of 1,750 times.
  2. Shit: Uttered approximately 1,400 times.
  3. Damn: Used roughly 800 times.
  4. Bastard: Mentioned around 650 times.
  5. Ass: Said nearly 700 times.
  6. Hell: Used approximately 620 times.
  7. Cock: Stated around 300 times.
  8. Dick: Uttered close to 350 times.
  9. Son of a bitch: Used roughly 370 times.
  10. Piss: Said nearly 320 times.
  11. Crap: Used approximately 220 times.
  12. Bitch: Said around 180 times.
  13. Slut: Uttered about 80 times.
  14. Dickhead: Used roughly 120 times.
  15. Asshole: Mentioned close to 140 times.
  16. Fuckhead: Said nearly 60 times.
  17. Balls: Used approximately 90 times.
  18. Twat: Stated around 30 times.
  19. Douchebag: Uttered close to 50 times.
  20. Jackass: Used roughly 90 times.
  21. Prick: Mentioned about 60 times.
  22. Cocksucker: Said nearly 50 times.
  23. F**: Used approximately 30 times.
  24. Shithead: Stated around 60 times.
  25. Pussy: Uttered close to 30 times.

Again, please note these counts may fluctuate based on the version of the film being watched. And also please note I told you earlier to go fuck yourself if you have any issues with the numbers or the selections. This summary showcases the prevalence of explicit language in the portrayal of hockey culture in cinema, and is not meant for you to print out and then share with the chess club for confirmation. But live your life, pal, it’s none of our business. Hope everyone enjoyed this.

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Reaves’ Irrelevance


in Ryan Reaves, Arber "Wifi" Xhekaj, Brand Marchand, Marcus Foligno, Mike Rupp

I have been trying desperately to coast into 2024. Work, and life, have had other plans for my “disposable” time. I have been absolutely slammed at work, and personally I have been really buried as well. Which translated means I just discovered Letterkenny (Thanks, Ref). Basically, I feel like Jake at the end of The Blues Brothers explaining himself to Carrie Fisher on why he ran out on her.

Long way to say, I have been thinking about fights, and fighting and I miss you guys.

Be-Reave-Ment

As I was watching the Leafs and Bruins two weeks ago, I was awaiting some kind of action from Ryan Reaves. After the first tilt in Boston, where Brad Marchand took a Leaf defenseman into the boards awkwardly, and the verbal jousting both sides did after the fact, I thought for sure there would be something from the Buds resembling jam on white toast.

Reaves and Marchand were jawing at each other in the press leading up to the game. It seemed like it would be a good time for Reavo to go mental. Maybe he would challenge Trent Frederic? Maybe he’d get on the ice and face wash someone. Maybe (at least) a cross word?

Two Fights and 7 Scratches

Nope. Ryan Reaves got around 8 minutes of ice and took an absolutely terrible boarding penalty that probably limited his ice time further. It’s not gone well for Reavo in TO, like, at all. Signed to a $4.05 million dollar deal for three years he’s been a scratch from 7 of the teams 20 games. He’s got one assist, and more shockingly, he’s had only 2 fights. He fought Arber Xhekaj on opening night, and 3 days later, he fought Marcus Foligno. That’s the extent of his fight card.

It begs the question. Is Ryan Reaves totally irrelevant? I’m not trying to bash the guy. He is the type of player we love here at Goonblog. And to top it off, he’s going to be out long term after an awkward fall into the boards last night. I’m wondering if they don’t try and deal this guy or demote him upon his return.

It’s not like there’s no fighting in the league. I have a whole post coming on the subject, but spoiler alert: fighting is up this season, league-wide. Leafs fans are complaining they don’t have enough jam, yet Reaves is in the lineup. It’s baffling to me why a guy like Ryan Reaves doesn’t have more fights this season, and I fear Mike Rupp’s chirp about irrelevancy is coming true before our very eyes.

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Blackhawk Down


in Chicago Blackhawks

How’s it goin, eh? Been a while, boys. But Killer has returned, and I gots something on my mind. At the end of the day, there are just bad human beings among us. No City, Town, State, Country or Planet is devoid of the frigwit. Happy to get much more specific…

Mike Babcock: Milestone Murderer

Let’s start with Mike Babcock. Holy shit, what a World Class Scumbag. Columbus was out of their minds hiring him in July, but boy oh boy did they dodge a bullet. How about the time Babs sat Mike Modano? Modano, who is the top US born goal scorer of all time in the NHL (let that sink in), signed a one year deal with Detroit for the 2010-2011 season which he announced would be his last.

Modano suffered a pretty serious wrist injury and missed a significant portion of that season but was healthy toward the end and was hoping to get into as many games as possible before the playoffs started. He was 1 game shy of playing in his 1,500  regular season game and guess what good old Babs did? He healthy-scratched Mike friggin’ Modano so that he would never achieve that significant milestone!

If Modano had murdered Babs, I am fairly confident a jury would have found him not-guilty. If you want o hear more horror stories about Babs, search up Mike Commodore on YouTube as he has some beauties. 

Milan Lucic: Sleepover Sabotager

Milan Lucic’s NHL career came to an end after a night out of boozing with, I am guessing , the boys and perhaps some puck bunnies on November 18. Lucic stumbled home, got into a disagreement about his phone with his old lady, Brittany, and proceeded to pull her by her hair (which is attached to her head ?) across the room.

She called the cops and off to the hoosegow he went. He has entered the NHL/NHLPA Player Assistance Program (which Chris predicted) and is on an indefinite leave from the Bruins. He made a great living being one of the toughest SOB’s on the ice. Feared by many, loved by many more. But in the end, you just can’t lay your hands on a women, especially the mom of your children.  During a goddamn sleepover.

Corey Perry: The (F)Artful Dodger

This takes me to our final bad human being for this column, Corey Perry. My goodness… where do I start with this shitbag? Perry has been a bad human for his entire hockey career. His vacant face trying to hide the thousands of punches delivered to the back of someone’s head, or the spears to the gut during scrums, or the hits from behind, or whatever other misdeed he could think of. As long as it was behind an official’s back and his opponents weren’t looking, either.

What was even more infuriating about Perry is he never answered for any of it, despite being 6-3 and 206 pounds. Any number of his teammates had to clean up his mess despite being smaller, because Perry could hide behind his stature of top line scorer. Not a great look.  

Corey Perry Released from the Chicago Blackhawks

We all know the situation that transpired recently in Chicago. The Hawks management came out and defiantly said it has nothing to do with a family member of the organization. You believe that? I always say where there is smoke, there is fire. Will we ever know the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god? Doubt it, but I don’t need that level of transperancy in this case.

Because we’ve seen what he’s capable of a few times to date. In his very first shift of the winter classic back on January 1, 2020, while he was a member of the Dallas Stars, Perry decided to blindside Ryan Ellis in the head while he was attempting a shot on net. Bing Bang Boom, game misconduct, 5 game suspension that came with a $40,322.60 fine.

Ellis never saw the ice again that season for Nashville. Was traded to the Flyers and has skated in a grand total of 4 games accumulating 1 goal and 4 assists before lingering injury issues sidelined him. And did you see the cheap shot Perry did on Patrick Laine at the 2016 Worlds? Good news is we will never see him lace up his skates again in the NHL – and for that I am thankful.  

In closing, Chris had a great column the other day about the Panthers / Senators game. Never in my life have I seen every player on the ice receive a 10 minute game misconduct. I just wish the ref had used his inner Oprah and announced the penalties as “You get a Game Misconduct”, “You get a Game Misconduct”.

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Ottawa Brawl Ain’t Pickleball


in Matt Carkner, Florida Patnthers, Josh Sanderson, Matthew Tkachuk

Sitting here at Goonblog HQ, Starting my day as I usually do. Going through some various box scores, lamenting the recent Bruins slide. Into absolute suckatude. But I’m sure the B’s are glad the spotlight isn’t on them this morning, as the Ottawa Senators and Florida Panthers had a very… interesting… game last night in Canada’s Capital.

Looking at some highlights, there’s not a singular incident that started the trouble in Ottawa. It looks it was just general frustration of being blown out that got the better of the Senators. These two clubs combined for 167 PIM, including 12 misconducts. 10 of the misconducts were handed out at the same stoppage in play at 12:38 on the third.

By my math, that’s every player on the ice getting a 10 at the same time. I don’t believe I have ever seen that, and I feel terrible for the rink announcer having to read them all off in two languages. Check the footage below. It’s wild.

Florida coach Paul Maurice had this to say about the evening’s affair: “That’s mild. We only got to about 160-some minutes there. It’s got to get into the 250s before it gets too squirrelly,” Maurice said. “Sometimes hockey can get like that. That’s part of why the game’s so darn great, because it’s graceful and beautiful and physical and angry all at the same time. Probably good for both teams. You get to make it part of the story of your year.”

Senatorial Frustrations, So What?

I don’t like agreeing with Paul Maurice, but he’s spot on. If you look at some of the highlights, the bench looks like a late night beer league game near the end. There’s about 4 guys on the Florida bench at one point, and the backup goalie has moved from his usual perch on his chair by the door to the middle of the bench to yuck it up with the remaining guys.

Because, absolutely: the sort of chicanery that took place in Ottawa is one of the main things that makes hockey so unique. In other sports when it’s a blow out, and in hockey too sometimes, guys are just trying to get through the last few minutes and get on the bus. Not in hockey. A lot of times when there’s a game as lopsided as this one, guys tend to try and take out the season’s frustrations on one another. Things have not gone Ottawa’s way this year, and you can clearly see them trying to exact revenge on the Panthers for their season’s failings.

Tkachuk-ing Hands

Interestingly, there was only one fighting major in the affair. Usually these things devolve into a slugfest, but not last night. Perhaps the officials giving out 10 misconducts was a way to prevent a donnybrook from happening, as the fight in question took place prior to the misconducts and the stripes could see where we were headed.

At any rate, Matthew Tkachuk of Florida, and Josh Sanderson from Ottawa had a quick dust up before all hell broke loose.

Tkachuk’s aggressive play has led him into numerous on-ice altercations throughout his career. As of the end of the 2023 season, he has had a total of 14 NHL fights, according to HockeyFights.com. His PIM history is also substantial. In his rookie season (2016-2017), he served 105 penalty minutes. His career high came in the 2018-2019 season when he served 120 penalty minutes. Over his NHL career, Tkachuk has accumulated nearly 500 PIM, a testament to his assertive, and sometimes contentious, style of play.

In addition to his PIM, Tkachuk has faced formal disciplinary action from the NHL. Notably, he was suspended for one game in the 2017-2018 NHL playoffs for a hit on Los Angeles Kings defenseman Drew Doughty. In the 2019-2020 season, Tkachuk was also suspended for two games for an elbowing incident involving Toronto Maple Leafs forward Tyson Barrie.

It’s not much of a fight, and Tkachuk is given a misconduct for removing a players helmet, which was his own. He’s motioning to Sanderson to remove his bucket before they tangle, and he doesn’t oblige. Chuckie gets a really hard right in that gets Sanderson’s attention. He lands another, and Sanderson goes down. I guess score it a win, as Sanderson doesn’t seem to throw a punch. Good on these guys for mixing it up. I love the 160 PIM.

Would have been cooler if there were more fights. And definitely if Matt Carkner were still on the Senators. But we can’t win ’em all.

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